记录：初为人父90天

Every day will be hard, but they're supposed to be, aren't they? And most days will be amazing. They should be, too.

Day 1: Buckle up! The day of your child's birth is a wild ride that features a bit of everything: tension, anticipation, sleep deprivation, delirious joy, friends, family, in-laws and sketchy hospital food. There is no moment that compares to holding your baby for the first time. You are relieved and overjoyed, yet feel the arrival of massive responsibility. You truly feel like an adult now. Try to be cool, calm and supportive throughout.

Day 2: Unless you're a firefighter, you might never get used to interrupted sleep. Agree to take the early-morning stretch: You're awake well before work, alone with your baby, watching the sunrise -- and watching him watch the sunrise. Getting him to fall asleep in your arms is the dad skill sine qua non.

Day 3: Your meals are now eaten in shifts, amid the plaintive, desperate screams of a newborn. You will understand the importance of the little rituals in your relationship like dinner-table chitchat (sharing moments of your day, the latest gossip, laughter), and now need to create new ones.

Day 7: You agree to buy anything -- swings, bassinets, rockers -- that might make your baby sleep easier. Most of them won't. The fine folks at the Babies 'R' Us return counter seem to be understanding.

Day 10: Outside of work, everything you do will now be subject to interruption. Finishing a meal, seeing a movie all the way through or even making it out the door is an unexpected triumph.

Day 11: On his bad days your baby will cry nonstop, for no discernable reason (he's fed; his diaper is clean; he appears comfortable). You each put hours into calming him, without result. You feel awful losing your temper on a 10-pound little human. You vow to do better next time.

Day 13: There is a song out there, whichever one it is for you, that will calm your screaming baby. Search every stop on the FM dial, the Internet, and your iTunes library until you find it.

Day 15: You will think dark thoughts. Remind yourself your baby won't be this helpless and irascible for long. Everything shall pass. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Day 17: After months of harboring quiet resentment for your childless friends, for the first time, you suddenly -- and most unexpectedly -- feel pity for them.

Day 19: The first text from your partner that involves adult conversation instead of baby photos, videos, updates or a shopping list will take you back, Proust-like, to your once-glamorous, carefree, kid-free relationship days.

Day 21: Cards. Flowers. Effusive flattery. Find the right moment. Cross your fingers the baby stays asleep.

Day 30: Going anywhere with your baby is an event. A table of pretty girls will turn in unison through the window of a restaurant as you walk by. Old ladies at the market will ask how old he is. Gay men will unfailingly compliment him. He controls a room wherever he goes. You will enjoy the attention.

Day 32: Small disagreements with your partner metastasize into ugly ones as you each become a conduit for all the stress of raising a baby that you can't take out on the baby himself. Be aware of it. Apologize when you're in the wrong.

Day 38: A thousand new photos on your phone since birth. You'll be glad you took every single one. Back 'em up before you run out of memory!

Day 52: Now finally seems like a good time to connect with old friends you haven't seen since they had kids.

Day 61: You discover that introducing your baby to your grandfather and getting that multi-generation photo is one of the more underrated moments in a man's life.

Day 67: It's difficult to walk out the door to work some mornings. You envy your partner getting to spend all day with your baby, and you daydream about all the things you'll do with your family in the coming weekend.

Day 77: Before he was born you promised yourself that you'd keep baby paraphernalia to a minimum. His stuff is now everywhere. Your home feels smaller than ever.

Day 78: Ask for that raise.

Day 80: You swear your partner has never looked this good. And her nascent maternal skills have added a whole other dimension to your affection for her. Let her know -- she needs to hear it more than you realize.

Day 85: A hotly anticipated new restaurant will open, and chances are you won't notice or won't care. If you do go, you'll dine there at 5:45. The hostess will seat you near other young families.

Day 90: There comes a day when you can palpably feel the change -- suddenly your baby is crying less and sleeping more. After 12 manic months of pregnancy and new parenthood, you too have come a long way, and without turning into a hapless TV dad. You realize that more than anything else, babies make you appreciate the present and look forward to the future.

And isn't that ultimately what we all want most in life?

每一天都是辛苦的一天，但本该如此，不是吗？当然，每一天都充满惊喜。正如我期待的那样。

第1天：绷紧神经！孩子的降临意味着一切：紧张，期待，失眠，狂喜，朋友，家人以及粗糙的医院餐。世上再没有一个瞬间比起第一次怀抱你的宝贝更令人激动。你欣喜若狂，慰藉不已，但随之而来的是初为人父的责任。现在你才真正意识到自己是个大人了。学会保持冷静，帮助照顾孩子。

第2天：除非你是消防员，否则你不可能习惯睡眠被打搅。清晨需要舒展运动开始新的一天：你要早早地起床，带上你的孩子，一起看日出，他在看日出，你却在看他。新手爸爸的必备技能就是抱孩子在臂弯间，哄他酣然入睡。

第3天：用餐要分几次，因为孩子凄厉的尖叫让你不得不放下碗筷。你终于明白了生活中那些维系关系的小仪式的重要性，比如餐桌闲谈，彼此交换每天的趣闻，但你却必须放弃，另寻适合的新方式。

第7天：为了孩子舒适的睡眠，你会把一切都买回家——秋千、摇篮、摇椅等等。但大部分都不管用。还好“宝妈超市”退货柜台的工作人员足够通情达理。

第10天：除去工作时间，你所做的每件事都会被打断。顺利地吃一顿饭，看一场电影，甚至是出门一次都是不小的胜利啊。

第11天：碰上坏日子，你的宝贝会不知出于什么原因，不停歇地一直哭。你已经喂饱他，换好尿布，一切都很舒适，但他就是不停地哭。你们轮流安抚他，但毫无作用。你对10磅重的小人发脾气，这真是太槽糕了。你发誓下次会做得更好。

第13天：总有一首歌能帮你平息婴儿的尖叫。快去收音机，网络和iTunes音乐库好好找一找吧。

第15天：你会产生消极的想法。要记得提醒自己，你的宝贝很快就会长大，不再无法自助，暴躁易怒。一切都会好起来。别再暗自神伤。

第17天：几个月来，你内心中对无子女的朋友们累积了许多不满，但你却第一次为他们感到遗憾。这感觉来得突然，出人意料。

第19天：妻子终于传来第一封短信，谈论了大人的话题，而不再是婴儿照片，视频，近况以及购物单，这才将你拽回从前，那曾辉煌灿烂，无忧无虑，没有困扰的日子。

第21天：卡片，鲜花，溢美之词。你要找个恰当的时机送给你的妻子。上帝保佑那时你的宝贝正在沉睡。

第30天：走到哪，就把孩子带到哪。这样，你经过餐馆的时候，一桌子的漂亮女孩都会转头，透过玻璃朝你看。超市里的妇女们会问宝贝多大了。男同志们则总是赞美之词不断。他在哪，哪儿就是焦点。你会享受到大家的关注。

第32天：养育孩子带来压力，当然不能朝孩子发泄，夫妻就是彼此的垃圾桶，这容易将小问题催化成大矛盾。注意到这点，这样你错了的话就要及时道歉。

第38天：自孩子出生，手机里满满地全是他的照片。每一张你都很喜欢。记得在手机内存用完之前，做好备份。

第52天：是时候见见老朋友了。之前他们有了孩子，你们就不怎么联系了。

第61天：带着孩子去拜访你的祖父，再拍一张四世同堂的家庭合照。这绝对是一个人一生中不可忽略的大事。

第67天：总有那么几天，早晨出门时牵挂不已。你羡慕妻子能在家陪着孩子一整天，你做着白日梦，筹谋着下周的家庭计划。

第77天：孩子出生前，你暗暗发誓，婴儿用品不再多，够用就行。你看现在，到处堆满他的东西，挤得房间都像是变小了。

第78天：要求加薪。

第80天：你赞美妻子，她从未如此美丽。新生的母性光辉另一种程度上更加吸引你，加深你的爱。说给她听—— 她比你认为地更需要这些赞美。

第85天：备受瞩目的新餐馆就要开张了，但你大概不会注意或是不太关心。就算你独自去了，你会被安排坐在年轻夫妻旁边，5点45就开餐。

第90天：终于，你明显感觉到了不同 ，突然之间，你的宝贝哭的少了，睡的多了。在经历了初为人父以来混乱疯狂的12周后，你还有很长的路要走，别不幸变成了电视里的倒霉爸爸。你会意识到，是孩子让你懂得感恩现在，展望未来。

这不就是最终我们最想要的生活吗？