10个改善人际交流能力的小技巧

Effective communication is one of the most important life skills we can learn—yet one we don't usually put a lot of effort into. Whether you want to have better conversations in your social life or get your ideas across better at work, here are some essential tips for learning to to communicate more effectively.

有效的交流技巧是我们可以学习的、生活中最重要的技巧之一。——但是我们一般都没有把大量的精力放到这方面上。无论你是想在社交中能更好的交流，还是想在工作中更有效地把想法表达出来，都来看看下面的这些能帮你更有效交流的小技巧吧。

10. Watch Your Body Language

10.注意自己的身体语言

You tell your partner you're open to discussion but your arms are crossed; say you're listening but haven't looked up from your phone yet. Our non-verbal and non-written cues often reveal more than we think they do. Whether it's how you make eye contact or how you hold yourself during a video interview, don't forget that you're constantly communicating even when you're not saying a word. One strange way to tap into your body for better communication? Think about your toes. Or adopt a power pose if you need to boost your confidence before a big talk. Or learn how to read other people's body language so you can respond appropriately.

你告诉搭档你愿意讨论，但是你的胳膊却交叉在一起；你在听，但是却在低着头看手机。我们的非语言和非文字的线索往往比想象中泄露的信息还要多。无论是进行眼神交流，还是在视频采访中控制自己，都不要忘了，即便你一言不发，也是在不断地交流。想不想知道一种用身体来更好交流的奇怪方式？那就是想想你的脚趾头。或在进行一次重要谈话前，使用能提升自信的姿势。也可以学习一下如何读懂他人的身体语言，这样你能恰当地回应。

9. Get Rid of Unnecessary Conversation Fillers

9.去除不必要的会话用语

Um's and ah's do little to improve your speech or everyday conversations. Cut them out to be more persuasive and feel or appear more confident. One way is to start keeping track of when you say words like "um" or "like." You could also try taking your hands out of your pockets or simply relaxing and pausing before you speak. Those silences seem more awkward to you than they do to others, trust us.

“恩”，“啊”对于改善你的演讲或每天的对话来说作用不大。把它们去掉能更有说服力，能让你看起来更加自信。一种方式是观察自己说“恩”或“啊”的时刻。你也可以试着把你的手从口袋里拿出来，或在说话前简单地放松和暂停一下。相信我们，在那些沉默的时刻，你其实比他们要更尴尬。

8. Have a Script for Small Talk and Other Occasions

8.为闲谈和其他对话提前想好内容

Small talk is an art that not many people have mastered. For the inevitable, awkward silences with people you hardly know, it helps to have a plan. The FORD (family, occupation, recreation dreams) method might help you come up with topics to discuss, and you can also turn small talk into conversation by sharing information that could help you and the other person find common ground. Hey, all that small talk could make you happier in the long run.

闲谈是一种艺术，掌握它的人不多。对于和那些你基本上不认识的人在一起时不可避免的、尴尬的沉默时刻，提前做个计划很有帮助。FORD（家庭、职业、娱乐、梦想）方法能帮你想出讨论的话题，你也可以和别人分享信息，这有助于你们找到共同话题，把闲谈转为会话。从长远的角度上来看，所有的闲谈都会让你更加开心。

7. Tell a Story

7.讲故事

Stories are powerful. They activate our brains, make presentations suck less, make us more persuasive, and can even help us ace interviews. Learn the secrets of becoming a phenomenal storyteller with these rules from Pixar or by simply using the word "but" more to structure your narrative. Everyone's got at least one great story in them.

故事的力量是很强大的。它们能激活我们的大脑，让我们的演讲不会太差，让我们更有说服力，甚至能帮助我们在面试中脱颖而出。可以从皮克斯那里学习如何能把故事讲得精彩，或简单地用“但是”来调整你的叙述结构。每个人心中都至少有一个非常好的故事。

6. Ask Questions and Repeat the Other Person

6.问问题并重复他人的话

Let's face it, we've all drifted off when someone else was talking or misheard the other person. Asking questions and repeating the other person's last few words shows you're interested in what they say, keeps you on your toes, and helps clarify points that could be misunderstood (e.g., "So to recap, you're going to buy the tickets for Saturday?").

让我们面对现实吧，当别人在说话时，我们都会走神或听错话。问问题并重复他人最后说的几句话表明你对他们说的话感兴趣，这能帮你保持警觉，并有助于澄清容易误解的地方（比如，“也就是说，你想买周六的票？”）

It also helps for small talk and to fill in awkward silences. Instead of trying to stir up conversation on mundane topics like the weather, ask the other person questions (e.g., "Got any plans for the summer?" or "What are you reading lately?") and engage in their answers. It's more important to be interested than to be interesting.

这样也有助于闲谈，能使得沉默的时刻不那么尴尬。除了可以用像天气这样单调的话题来展开谈话，也可以问别人一些问题。（比如，“夏天有什么计划？”或“最近在读什么书？”），并就他们的回答进一步展开。感兴趣比有意思要重要得多。

5. Put Away the Distractions

5.去除干扰

It's pretty rude to use your phone while someone's talking to you or you're supposed to be hanging out with them. Maybe we can't get rid of all our distractions or put away technology completely, but just taking the time to look up could vastly improve our communication with each other.

当别人和你说话时，或你该和别人一起玩时，你在那里玩手机是不礼貌的行为。也许我们无法去除所有的干扰，或完全收起科技产品，但是拿出时间抬头看看会极大地改善彼此间的交流。

4. Tailor Your Message to Your Audience

4.为你的听众量身定做消息

The best communicators adjust how they talk based on whom they're speaking to; you'd probably use a different style of communication with co-workers or your boss compared to when you're speaking with your significant other, kids, or elders. Always try to keep the other person's perspective in mind when you try to get your message across.

好的交流者根据谈话的对象调整谈话的方式；你和同事、老板间的交流方式与和爱人、孩子或老人的交流方式是不同的。当你尝试表达自己的信息时，一定要把别人的视角记在心里。

3. Be Brief Yet Specific

3.要简明、具体

There's actually a BRIEF acronym—Background, Reason, Information, End, Follow-up—to help you keep your emails short without leaving anything out. It's a good policy for both written and verbal communication (I've always felt that my job as a writer was to clearly get the point across and then get off the page as soon as possible. Just two more items on this list!) Clear and concise are two of the 7 Cs of communication, along with concrete, correct, coherent, complete, and courteous.

实际上有一个缩写BRIEF-Background（背景）、Reason（原因）、Information（信息）、End（结尾）、Follow-up（后续内容）能让你的电子邮件简明而不遗漏信息。无论是书面交流还是口头交流，这都是一个不错的策略。（作为一名作家，我总是认为我的工作就是把要点清晰地表达出来，然后尽早结束。这个清单上还剩下两项内容！）Clear（清晰）、concise（简明）是交流的7个C中的2个，其他5个分别是：concrete（具体）、correct（准确）、coherent（连贯）、complete（完整）、courteous（客气）。

2. Up Your Empathy

2.培养共鸣

Communication is a two-way street. If you practice taking the opposing viewpoint, you can reduce the difficulty and anxiety that sometimes arises when trying to truly communicate with others. (For example, knowing what your significant other really means when she says she's too tired to talk.) Developing empathy helps you better understand even the unspoken parts of your communication with others, and helps you respond more effectively.

交流是双向的。如果你练习从相反的观点看问题，那么当你试着和别人交流而发生意见不一致的情况时，你就不会觉得那么困难或那么焦虑。（例如，当你的另一半说她太累了，不想说话时，你明白她所表达的含义。）培养共鸣能帮助你更好理解你和别人交流时非语言的部分，并帮助你更有效地回应。

1. Listen, Really Listen

1.倾听，真正地倾听

Finally, going hand-in-hand with most of the points above, the best thing you can do to improve your communication skills is to learn to really listen—to pay attention and let the other person talk without interrupting. It's hard work, we know, but "A good conversation is a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening." Then, even if your communication styles don't match, at least you're both working off the same page. And hopefully the other person will be attentively listening to you too.

最后，和上面几点紧密联系的、你可以做的最好的事情就是通过真正地倾听来改善你的交流技巧——在别人说话时认真听别人说并不打断别人。我们知道，这很难，但“好的会话是词汇和倾听的优雅结合。” 即便你们的交流方式不匹配，通过倾听你也能明白对方的含义。当然也希望别人能专心听你说。