社交课堂:如何原谅伤害你的人？

Man is a social animal and ought to socialize, but with company around, there are times when egos tend to mingle along as well. This could result in exchanges of words that could put a strain on relationships. Continuous bashing of words with an individual could turn ugly and lead to hatred.

人都是社交动物，无法离开社会而生存，然而一旦周围有了同伴，自尊心往往会作祟，这就会导致言语交际时引发的紧张关系。持续用言语打击别人可能会导致关系恶化，甚至招来仇恨。

The impact of hatred

仇恨带来的影响

Hating someone is injurious to one’s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one’s health if it builds too high.

讨厌一个人对自身的健康也有坏处，因为体内总有一股怒气，如果积压的怒气过多就会对身体带来伤害了。

Why Forgive?

为什么选择原谅？

Mental balance applies towards good health. Since health is wealth, forgiveness is the way to go. Forgiving someone is like having a mental balance by letting go of any resentment or grudges towards an individual, which will help to clear the conscience and is very crucial for resolving relationships.

精神的平和对可以带来健康。健康是无价之宝，那为何不选择原谅呢。原谅别人就好比放下一些怨恨，达到精神的平和，可以净化心灵同时解决关系危机。

There are a couple of C’s involved in burying the hatchet:

下面这些C字关键词是你“放下仇恨”时应该做到的：

Categorize

归类

Many a time, we are not aware of why we hate someone and continue to walk on a path that disturbs one’s mental and physical well-being. We should be able to recognize the pattern that arises when we come across a certain human being. Once we are able to categorize the pattern, we can move to the next step.

很多时候，我们都没有意识到到底为什么讨厌这个人，却仍固执的怨恨着，扰乱着自己的精神和身体健康。遇到某个人的时候我们需要能够归类到底该采取何种方式对待他，一旦能够归类了，我们就可以到下一个步骤。

Cause

缘由

We should try to search within ourselves with regard to what and how the individual has hurt us, and why we hate them. Finding a cause helps us to bring closure within ourselves, and we can open up to discussion within the self, and even with the person whom we hate.

我们要从自身出发找出到底这个人是如何以及怎么伤害到我们的，以及我们为什么讨厌他们。找到根源能让自己停止纠结下去，我们可以和别人甚至和讨厌的那个人去开诚布公的讨论。

Confront

面对

Coming face-to-face with the person whom one hates is a challenge, but confronting the individual will lead to peace of mind and a sound sleep at night. Brave up and face that person.

和讨厌的人面对面的确是个挑战，但面对别人时，头脑会趋于冷静，晚上也会睡个好觉。所以鼓起勇气去面对这个人吧。

Conversation

对话

Once in the presence of the person who is hated, start a conversation and communicate about what bothers you. Being frank about what and how that person’s behavior irks oneself will help both discuss issues, and will eventually lead to clarification.

如果你讨厌的人出现了，不妨两个人好好聊聊，一起说说到底什么惹到你了。坦白的说说这个人的什么行为如何惹到了你，这对讨论以及最终解除误会都有很大的帮助。

Contrite

悔悟

Apologizing to the disliked person can do wonders for one’s physical and mental being, bringing happiness and contentment. Keeping one’s egos aside and expressing remorse is the key to forgiveness.

对不喜欢的那个人道歉对人的精神和身体会带来幸福和满足感，很神奇的哦！把什么自尊放到一边去，表达出悔恨才是原谅的核心。

Be Compassionate with yourself

对自己有恻隐之心

Once you forgive a person, be patient and kind to your self. Time is a big healer, thus give time to heal—physically and emotionally. Express your pain and anxiety, and do not keep it bottled up. Appreciate the goodness of people around you, and visualize a new life with positive energy each day. This will help to shape each day free of pain and suffering.

一旦原谅了别人，对自己有点耐心，也对自己好一点。时间是伟大的治愈师，会慢慢治愈你身体和精神上的创伤。把自己的痛苦和焦虑都表达出来，不要憋在心里。感激周围人对你的好，每天用积极的态度看待新的生活。这样能有效帮助你慢慢从痛苦中解脱出来。

Caution

谨慎

Once you made amends, set your boundaries to avoid repeating history so that you do not get hurt again. Be sure to keep a good distance from the person who triggered chaos in your mind and made you lose your sleep at night. Since we cannot change an individual, it’s smart to keep away from them.

一旦有了教训，你需要设定底线来避免历史重演，这样才能保证你不会再受到伤害。和那些会让你头脑发晕失眠的人保持点距离吧。既然我们无法改变一个人，不如聪明点远离他们。

Humans want to walk on the forbidden path, and there are chances that we can get attracted to people who have raised our blood pressure previously. Thus, retrain your thinking by wishing well about the person whom you just forgave. Hope the best for him while being intelligent and making wise decisions with respect to your mental well-being.

人们总喜欢选择走不该走的路，也有可能我们会爱上先前让我们血管爆棚的人。不管怎样，换个思考方式，祝福那个你刚刚原谅的人吧。为了自己的精神健康，真心去祝福他真的是智慧和明智的决定。