8个理由告诉你 第一次约会不必太紧张

Dating, as most humans who engage in it have no doubt observed, can be a major source of stress -- especially first dates. You can waste a shocking amount of time worrying about your outfit, where you'll meet up, when you'll meet up and whether or not the date will go well. Here are eight reasons not to stress about the first date:

大多数约过会的人想必已经留意到，约会也是压力的一大来源，尤其是第一次约会。你会浪费大量的时间在担心你的穿着、见面地点、见面时间，以及约会是否顺利。这是关于初次约会不必紧张的8个理由。

1. You get to judge, too.

1. 你也会评价对方。

It's very easy to waste a whole lot of time worrying about whether the person you're going on a date with will like you. But your precious hours are probably better spent thinking about whether you like your date. As Tom Hanks' character tells his fictional son in "Sleepless In Seattle", "This is what single people do. They try other people on and see how they fit." Spend your first date evaluating whether the person sitting across from you seems like a well-tailored suit or more like a ill-fitting item that's better left on the rack.

你会很容易把时间浪费在担忧“与你约会的人会不会喜欢你”这个问题上。但约会前的几小时可以更为有用，比如想想你会不会喜欢上你的约会对象。就像汤姆-汉克斯在电影《西雅图夜未眠》中饰演的角色对儿子说，“这就是单身人士做的事。他们约会对方，看看对方适不适合自己。” 初次约会时评价一下坐在你对面的那个人，看他是品行端庄的人还是邋遢不堪的人。

2. There's no need to be elaborate.

2. 没有必要精心安排。

The focus of your first meet-up is getting a feel for the other person. That means that lighthearted conversation is paramount -- not a super creative plan that involves multiple stops, top-tier restaurants and hipster underground bars. Just pick a coffee shop/bar/restaurant where you feel comfortable ... or make it really easy on yourself and make your date choose.

第一次见面的重点是试试对对方有没有感觉。这意味着轻松愉悦的谈话是最重要的，而不是一个富有创意的安排，比如去好几个地方、去顶级餐厅和地下酒吧等等。只要选一家你感觉舒服的咖啡店或酒吧或餐厅就可以，或者由你的约会对象和你自己随意做决定。

3. People are open to a lot of different date venues.

3. 人们对约会场所表示很随意。

Judging from a new infographic from dating site HowAboutWe.com, Americans are open to a wide variety of dating activities. If you feel like eating frozen yogurt, seeing an art exhibit, going bowling or drinking a glass of wine, chances are that your date will be into it too.

据来自交友网站HowAboutWe.com的信息图表分析，美国人对各式约会活动很随意。如果你喜欢喝冻酸奶、看展出、打保龄球、还是喝杯酒，你的约会对象说不定也很喜欢这些。

4. You don't have much to lose.

4. 你没什么好损失的。

You don't know the person well yet, so you probably aren't all that invested in them romantically. No matter how badly it goes, you'll get over it fairly quickly. That's the true beauty of a first date.

你还不是很了解这个人，所以你可能不会全身心地去营造浪漫情调。无论进展有多坏，你都可以很快平复过来。这是初次约会的真正魅力所在。

5. You can keep it short.

5. 要精简。

If you plan something casual, it'll be over in approximately the same amount of time it takes you to watch two episodes of "Girls."

如果你有临时安排，请控制一下时间，比如差不多看两集HBO喜剧《衰姐们》的时间—差不多是1个小时吧。

6. If it goes really badly, it'll be a good story.

6. 如果约会进展不顺，那这段经历将是一个好故事。

Some of the most entertaining conversations you can have with friends revolve around dating horror stories. Whether you're recounting the story of the dude who casually mentioned that there was a rapist who hadn't been caught in his neighborhood, or the tale of the girl who wouldn't stop talking about her 10 cats, those hours of awkwardness are sure to elicit laughs for years to come. If your first date goes completely awry, at least you have fresh material for your next friend dinner.

你和朋友间一些有趣的谈话可以围绕着你的恐怖约会故事展开了。不管你是在叙述一个家伙随口就说起了在他的小区里有个没有被抓走的强奸犯的故事，还是描述一个一刻不停地谈论她的10只小猫的女孩，这些故事绝对可以成为好几年的笑料。如果你的初次约会真心不顺利，至少在下次和朋友吃饭时，你有了新鲜谈资。

7. It's nearly impossible to run out of things to talk about.

7. 不可能没话可说。

The first date covers all of your basics, which means that there are a lot of things to discuss: jobs, families, hometowns, hobbies, living situations ... the list goes on.

初次约会可以谈及你们所有的基本信息，也就是说可以讨论很多话题：家庭、家乡、爱好、生活状况等等。

8. It's (mostly) out of your hands, so why bother worrying?

8. 成事在天，为何要担忧？

At the end of the day, all you can really control is how you behave. Maybe you'll meet the love of your life and maybe you won't. Whether or not the two of you click is largely a matter of luck, so just be genuine, try to have fun and then move on afterward. Breathe and remember -- it's only one date.

在一天的结束，所有你能控制的就是你的举止。也许你将遇见你生命中的挚爱，也许你没遇见。不管有没有，在很大程度说相遇是一种缘分，因而要真心实意，玩得开心，继续寻找。深呼吸一次，记住：这只是一次约会。