好人卡这样发：揭秘男女提分手时最爱用的理由

You know when your relationship is not working out. But how do you tell your partner they are dumped? A new poll reveals just how women and men call time on a love affair.

当你们的恋爱关系走不下去的时候你通常会察觉，但你如何告诉你的另一半他/她被甩了呢？最近有一项调查揭示了男女到底是如何结束恋爱关系的。

Dating site SeekingArrangement.com asked 1,000 of its male and female members why and how they would dump a partner. And the results reveal big differences in the sexes over how to give a loved one the push – and the reasons they give for the split.

婚恋网站seekingarrangement 调查了1000名男性和女性，问他们为什么会如何与伴侣分手。调查结果显示，在向恋爱对象提出分手的方式和理由上，男人和女人的表现大不相同。

Women are far more concerned about letting a man down gently – trying to soften the blow with emotional reasons for the split.

女人更倾向于婉转地拒绝男人，使用一些感性的分手理由来降低对男人的打击。

Going against the stereotype of the commitment-phobe male, the most popular line used by women in ending a relationship is: 'I’m not ready for commitment yet.' The second most popular is: 'This is going too fast for me.'

传统观点可能认为男人提分手最典型的情况是害怕承诺，但其实“我还有准备好给你承诺” 是女人在分手时最爱说的理由。女人最爱用的第二个的理由：“这对我来说太快了”。

Interestingly, money – and the earning power of their partner – is far more important to a woman than a man. 'You don’t earn enough money' is the third most important reason on the women’s list, whereas it doesn’t feature at all on the men’s list.

有趣的是，女人远远比男人更看重金钱，所以伴侣的赚钱能力很重要。“你赚钱太少了”成为女人分手的第三大理由，然而在男人的分手理由列表上，这点根本不重要。

'It's not you, it's me': Men tend to be less concerned with giving emotional explanations when they dumped their partner- and are more likely to use technology to let them know.

“你没有错，是我自己的问题”：而男人在甩掉自己的女友时不太会使用感性的理由，而是更可能用技术性的客观理由让女友知道。

For men, poor sex and lack physical compatibility appears far more important than women for why a relationship has failed.

对于男人来讲，性生活不和谐不够契合是导致两人分手的重要原因，他们比女人更看重这方面。

The third most popular reason for men is they are no longer attracted to their partner and the fourth most popular reason is: 'We’ve lost that sexual spark.'

'男人的第三大分手理由是他们的伴侣无法再吸引他们，紧接下来的第四大理由为“我们已经失去激情的火花了”。

Both sexes prefer to end a relationship face-to-face but they are also increasingly using email and text to tell a lover they are history.

大多数的男人和女人更愿意和伴侣面谈分手结束关系，但目前用邮件或短讯的分手形式也在逐渐增加。

Just over half of women (52 per cent) would meet a partner to say the relationship is over, while fewer than half of men (43 per cent) would break the news in person.

超过一半（52%）的女性会向通过一个对象侧面来告知分手，而余下的43%女性则会亲自将消息告诉他人。

Harley Street dating and relationship expert Louise Van Der Velde had this advice: 'Relationships work when one whole person attracts another whole person.

哈利街的婚姻关系专家路易斯凡德尔维尔德提出一则建议：“当一个人的全部特征完全彻底地吸引另外一个人，两人之间才会迸发爱情”。

'If you’re giving 50 per cent, and the other is giving 50 per cent, it’s not going to work. Both of you need to commit to giving the relationship no less than 100 per cent. And I think it’s so healthy for people to be honest about their expectations in a relationship.

“如果你只给予对方50%，而对方同样如此，那你们的爱情就不可能持久。你们双方都需要给予这份感情百分之百的努力。而且我认为，人们需要诚实地对待自己的感情期望，这样才是健康状态。”

SeekingArrangement owner Brandon Wade said increasing numbers of online daters jump quickly from one relationship to the next.

Seekingarrangement网站的所有人布兰登-韦德指出，现在越来越多的在线约会者会从一个关系中迅速跳到另外一个。

He said: 'They meet someone they like, have some fun and then quickly moved on. If you are going to be a success dating online you have to learn how to end a relationship without causing too much fuss. The other message to come from this survey is that women like men with money. It has always been so.

他还说：“他们遇到自己喜欢的人，一起找点乐子然后迅速离开。如果你打算成为一个成功的网络恋爱高手，你必须学会如何结束一段感情同时不会引起太多麻烦。另外这项调查给到我们的一个信息是：女人喜欢有钱男人。亘古不变。”

The top 10 reasons women give for ending it

女人最爱用的10大分手理由：

1. I am not ready for commitment yet.

我还没有准备好给你承诺。

2. This is going too fast for me.

这一切对我来讲太快了！

3. You don’t earn enough money.

你赚太少了。

4. You are not mature enough.

你还不成熟。

5. I need to concentrate on my career

我想把精力投入到事业上。

6. I don’t like your friends or family.

我不喜欢你的朋友或家人。

7. It’s just not working.

就是没感觉。

8. We are not going to get married, so what’s the point?

将来我们不会结婚的，那现在这样还有意义吗？

9. We have not got enough in common.

我需要志同道合的伴侣。

10. I don’t trust you.

我对你缺少信任。

The top ten reasons men give for ending it

男人最爱用的10大分手理由：

1. It’s just not working.

就是没感觉。

2. I’ve met someone else.

我已经有其他女人了。

3. I’m not attracted to you any more.

你不再吸引我了。

4. We’ve lost that sexual spark.

我俩之间没有了激情的火花。

5. It’s not you, it’s me.

不是你的错，是我的问题。

6. I need to concentrate on my career.

我需要集中精力在事业上。

7. We want different things.

我们追求的东西不一样。

8. I don’t want to see you any more.

我不想再看见你了。

9. I am not ready for commitment yet.

我还没有准备好给你承诺。

10. We have not got enough in common.

10.我需要一个志同道合的伴侣。