为人父母也是一门艺术

作为父母都想让自己的孩子成才，这是无可非议的。但怎样教育孩子，怎样让孩子在现今学习重压下毫不气馁、精神饱满的尽自己的最大能力面对繁重的学习任务呢？这也是一门艺术。

As parents, it's beyond reproach that they want their children to be talented. But how to educate children, how to make them do their best to face the heavy learning task without any discouragement and full of spirit under the heavy pressure of learning nowadays? It's also an art.

这方面，我在做家教的过程中，颇有感受。

In this respect, I feel quite a lot in the process of tutoring.

有这样一个家庭，是一个五口之家，家庭成员有爷爷、奶奶、爸爸、妈妈和一个小女孩，这个小女孩12岁，身体健康，活泼可爱。我就是给这个小女孩做家庭教师。我见到他父母以后，了解到这个女孩会会上五年级，竟然连小学一年级的水平也达不到，那可

There is such a family, a family of five. The family members are grandfather, grandmother, father, mother and a little girl. The little girl is 12 years old, healthy, lively and lovely. I'm a tutor for this little girl. When I met his parents, I learned that this girl would go to the fifth grade, and even the first grade of primary school could not reach the level

想而知她现在五年级是一种什么状况？所以家长在不得已的情况下请了家教。

Want to know what kind of situation she is now in fifth grade? So parents have to ask for tutors.

第一天，我刚到她家，看见她爷爷在桌子旁和几个人正在热火朝天的打麻将；她的妈妈也在一旁观看、助威；会会和她的爸爸正在看电视。我受到了这一家人的热情接待，他们把满腔的希望寄托在我这个家庭老师身上。

On the first day, I just arrived at her home and saw her grandfather playing mahjong with several people at the table; her mother watching and cheering; she and her father were watching TV. I was warmly received by the family, who put their full hopes on my tutor.

孩子已经开始做家庭作业了，客厅的电视机依然在响着。做父母的好像有意在锻炼孩子集中学习的注意力一样。结果，孩子在不到40分钟，就连续起来4次：到客厅取了一次香蕉、取了一次桔子、沏了二次牛奶。真是吃、喝不亦乐乎。孩子本来就容易分散注意力，家长再不注意给孩子营造一个好的学习环境，专门在做一些孩子感兴趣的事，孩子能安心学习吗？

The children have begun to do their homework, and the TV in the living room is still ringing. Parents seem to be trying to train their children's concentration in their studies. As a result, the child in less than 40 minutes, up four times in a row: to the living room to pick up a banana, took an orange, brew twice milk. It's really fun to eat and drink. Children are easy to be distracted, and parents don't pay attention to create a good learning environment for their children. They are doing something that their children are interested in. Can children learn at ease?

到了第二天，在我的建议下，情况有所好转。孩子在学习40分钟以后，我让孩子休息10分钟，谁知孩子刚在客厅里一露头，就糟到父母一顿臭骂。这真是，不管孩子则已，一旦管起来还挺“严”。孩子以往在做家庭作业的时候，总是水果、点心一大片，哄着让做作业，可今天是严厉有加，孩子哪受过“这样的苦”，就大声嚷嚷：“我累了！”家长暴跳如雷：“咋了？你上脸了？人家上学前班都知道2+3=5，你上五年级都不会，你还有脸说？只知道吃！”结果，孩子又坐下来的时候，既不动口，也不动手，干脆来个软抵抗。

The next day, at my suggestion, things got better. After 40 minutes of learning, I let my child rest for 10 minutes. However, as soon as the child showed his head in the living room, his parents scolded him. This is true, no matter the children are already, once the management is still quite "strict". Children used to do homework, always fruit, snacks a large, coax to do homework, but today is a severe plus, where the child had "such pain", he shouted: "I'm tired!" The parents were furious: "what's the matter? Are you in the face? People in preschool know that 2 + 3 = 5, you can't even go to fifth grade, do you have the face to say? Just eat! " As a result, when the child sits down again, he doesn't move his mouth or move his hands, so he just has a soft resistance.

其实，孩子就像一颗刚出土的小苗，很小、很脆弱，需要精心呵护。而不是一会儿是零上40度的高温，一会儿又是零下40度的低温，小苗面对这样忽高忽低的温度就彻底摧毁了，根本不可能正常生长！孩子需要的是鼓励，而不是抓住弱点死不放大声喝叱，这样就大大伤害了孩子的自尊心。作为父母要切记，大人需要自尊，孩子也同样需要自尊。如果违背了这一点，那么父母和孩子只会唱对台戏，父母和孩子就永远没有沟通的可能，做父母的也永远都会感到力不从心，也就更不可能和孩子像朋友一样相处了。

In fact, a child is like a young seedling just unearthed. It is very small and fragile and needs careful care. Instead of a high temperature of 40 degrees above zero and a low temperature of 40 degrees below zero, the seedlings will be completely destroyed in the face of such a high and low temperature, and it is impossible to grow normally at all! What a child needs is encouragement, rather than holding on to his weak points and not shouting and scolding, which greatly hurts his self-esteem. As parents, remember that adults need self-esteem, so do children. If this is violated, then parents and children will only play opposite roles, and parents and children will never be able to communicate, and parents will always feel powerless, and even more impossible to get along with children like friends.

每一个孩子都不希望别人说自己不行。需要得到别人的肯定，特别需要得到父母的肯定。当我刚见到会会时，想试一试这孩子到底学习怎样，就问2+3=？，她摇摇头，意思就是不知道。接着，我就问她一个更简单的问题：1+1=？，只见她精神倍增，立刻响亮地回答：=2。因此，我适时大加赞扬：“行，你真棒！你知道1+1=2，以后你一定能学会2+3=？”得到表扬后，我发现她一天比天学习劲头大，一天比一天学习认真。我从她父母那里知道，现在都上五年级了，从来都没有把10以内加减法弄懂过。这样，经过一个多星期的努力，在我的鼓励声中，她终于把10以内的加减法拿了下来。

Every child doesn't want others to say they can't. You need to be recognized by others, especially by your parents. When I first saw the meeting, I wanted to try out how the child learned. I asked 2 + 3 =? She shakes her head, which means she doesn't know. Then I asked her a simpler question: 1 + 1 =? , seeing her spirit doubled, she immediately replied loudly: = 2. Therefore, I duly praised: "OK, you are wonderful! You know that 1 + 1 = 2, you will learn 2 + 3 =? " After being praised, I found that she was more energetic and earnest in her study day by day. I know from her parents that they are in fifth grade now, and have never understood the addition and subtraction within 10. In this way, after more than a week's efforts, in my encouragement, she finally took down the addition and subtraction within 10.

当她父亲听到我表扬她女儿时，很不以为然，并无可奈何地笑着说：“你不是在糊弄我孩子吗？”我说：“你错了，我这是在激发孩子的学习积极性。试想想，孩子经常面对的是父母的不满的叱责，从来没有享受过父母的赞扬。孩子就会想，我与其无论如何努力做，父母都不会满意，还不如不做。”

When her father heard that I praised her daughter, he was very dismissive and smiled helplessly and said, "aren't you fooling my child?" I said, "you're wrong. I'm trying to motivate my children to learn. Try to think that children often face the rebuke of their parents' dissatisfaction and never enjoy their parents' praise. The child will think that it's better not to do it than not to do it anyway. "

一天，我出了一份考卷，会会一口气做完，并得了100分，这下子，她高兴了。因为她对我说，她现在是五年级的学生，考试的时候总是抄她同桌的，如果不抄，她真的一点都不会，就只有得零分了。这次，是第一次她自己独立做的，并且靠自己的努力第一次得了100分。她首先想到的是把这个天大的好消息告诉父母。当她的爸爸说：“噢，进步不小。”只见孩子由于兴奋，脸立刻涨得通红。由于偶然的机会，自己在学习上的努力终于得到父母的肯定、赞赏，孩子像久旱的禾苗遇到甘霖，脸上绽开了灿烂的笑容。这样，孩子品尝到了成功的喜悦，并在喜悦中赏识自己，在赏识中为自己感到骄傲、自豪，在赏识中继续努力学习，在学习中继续得到赏识，周而复始，就会把自己的潜能不断地发挥出来。

One day, I gave out an examination paper, and I would finish it in one breath, and I got 100 points. All of a sudden, she was happy. Because she said to me, she is a fifth grade student now. She always copies her deskmate in the exam. If she doesn't copy, she really can't do it at all. She only gets zero. This time, it was the first time that she did it on her own and got 100 points for the first time by her own efforts. Her first thought was to tell her parents the great news. When her dad said, "Oh, it's not a small improvement." The child's face turned red with excitement. Due to the chance, my efforts in learning have finally been recognized and appreciated by my parents. My child, like a long dry seedling, has a bright smile on his face. In this way, children taste the joy of success, appreciate themselves in the joy, feel proud and proud of themselves in the appreciation, continue to study hard in the appreciation, continue to be appreciated in the learning, and will continue to play their potential.

父母是孩子的第一位启蒙教师，对孩子的一生成长都会产生深刻的、长远的影响。给孩子营造一个良好的学习环境，并且尊重和赏识自己的孩子，这是为人父母的一门艺术。

Parents are the first enlightenment teachers of children, which will have a profound and long-term impact on their children's life growth. To create a good learning environment for children, and to respect and appreciate their children, this is an art of parenthood.