分居如何拯救了我的婚姻?

I remember looking at him as the words came out of my mouth: "I love you, but because I care, I need to let you go." In that moment, I realized there was nothing more I could do. I asked my husband to leave our home that day.

我记得当时我看着他说出了这些话："我爱你，但正因为爱你，我才需要放你自由。"那一刻，我意识到我能做的只有这些。那一天，我让丈夫离开了我们的家。

The night we met reads like something out of a cheesy romance novel. Girl lives in the city, flies to the Midwest for the wedding of a dear friend. Boy is a touring musician, back in the Midwest for the wedding of his sound guy. Same wedding. Our friends put two and two together, realizing that although we had all known one another for nearly a decade, he and I had never met because we were both lived in different cities. A scheming introduction led to an evening of conversation, a few cocktails, dancing, and the exchange of numbers. I had an early flight the next morning, so as I saw the clock ticking, I knew it was time for me to go. We joke that I was like Cinderella dashing out of the ball as the clock strikes midnight.

我们相遇的那晚就像是烂俗浪漫小说中描绘的场景。生活在都市里的女孩飞到中西部参加好朋友的婚礼。男孩是音乐家，总要巡回演出，那天他回到中西部参加好哥们的婚礼。同一场婚礼。我们的朋友根据当时的情况进行了推断，意识到虽然我们俩已相识近10年，但却未曾谋面，因为我们都生活在不同的城市。他们俩"不怀好意"地介绍我们认识，而我们竟然聊了一整夜、喝了几杯鸡尾酒、跳了舞还交换了号码。第二天我要乘坐早班飞机，所以我看着时间一点点地流逝，我知道我该走了。我们开玩笑说道，我就像是灰姑娘，午夜钟声敲响12点我就得逃离舞会现场。

He came to see me two weeks later. That was the start of a romance that would quickly grow into something more and eventually become our future. Marriage doesn't come with Cliffs Notes or a "how to" manual. Nobody enters a partnership with another human having all the answers. We are all flawed and bring those imperfections into what we expect to be a flawless union. Life isn't perfect, and marriage is no exception. It is a choice to walk through the messy together, hoping the tough times will be quickly countered with amazing moments.

两周后，他来找我了。我们的浪漫从此开始、感情迅速升温、最终我们一起共度未来。但并没有书籍指导我们该如何共同经营婚姻。在和另一人经营一段感情时，没有人拥有所有问题的答案。我们都不是完人，但我们都想把自己的不完美带到我们以为完美的结合中。生活并不完美，婚姻也不例外。婚姻是人们的选择，选择一起经历一团糟并希望困难时刻能很快过去，美好时刻能早点到来。

Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to go through in my own marriage.

没什么能让我为婚姻中接下来发生的事情做好准备。

Several weeks after the birth of our first child, my husband came to me and asked if we could talk. In between sustaining a small human's life with these two mounds that had taken up residence on my previously nonexistent chest and trying to manage to sneak in a nap here or there, I was happy to accommodate the request for some adult conversation.

第一个宝宝生下来的几周后，老公来到我身边问我是否能和他谈谈。我本来是平胸，生完宝宝后胸部变大，在给这个小生命喂奶和总是试着偷睡之间，我还是很高兴能够满足老公的要求，和他进行成人间的交流的。

"I think I have a problem."

"我想我有个问题。"