无需内疚 单身也是一种选择

As Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls would probably say: "Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they're single." The question is intrusive, personal, and, above all, none of your damn business. But for some reason, so many people feel the need to ask anyway, in which case, you can simply answer with: "I choose to be." I asked sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein, author of Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age, what the best response to that question is, and she dished out those four words without skipping a beat.

正如《贱女孩》电影中的格雷琴·维娜可能会说："我的天哪，你可不能直接问别人为什么他们还是单身！"一样，这个问题具有侵犯性、是私人问题，而且根本就不关你的事啊。但由于某些原因，很多人都觉得有必要问为什么，在这种情况下，你可能会回道："我就是想单身啊。"我咨询了《保持单身但不拒绝约会：数字时代约会的现场指南》（Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age）一书的作者兼性学专家尼克·戈德斯坦医生，向她询问该问题的最佳回答，而她想都不想就说了一句话。

Being single is a choice, plain and simple.

单身是种选择，平淡而又简单。

In fact, you don't even need to give family, strangers, or any other priers the luxury of an explanation. "It's one of those offensive questions," Nikki said. "You don't even have to answer that if you don't want to; it's like saying, 'Why is the sky blue?'" As much as a woman's independence is now celebrated and admired, there's still some social stigma behind a single relationship status. Especially as a woman gets older, she can feel more pressure to settle down because god forbid you are 30 and want to work on yourself before taking on a marriage. Having a partner doesn't validate who you are, and those who take the time to focus on personal growth often make better partners and are also happier when they are ready to get involved in a relationship.

事实上，你根本就无需向家人、陌生人或任何其他的窥探者解释理由。"这是个冒犯人的问题，"尼克说道。"如果你不想，你根本不需要回答这个问题；这就好像在说，'为什么天是蓝的？'"虽然现在很多人都庆祝并欣赏女性独立，但单身仍会被人说三道四。尤其是当女人年纪越来越大时，她们会承受越来越多的压力：安顿下来。因为上帝啊，你都已经30岁了，你还想在结婚前一个人打拼奋斗吗？拥有恋人并不能证明你是谁，而那些花时间自我成长的人往往会是很棒的伴侣，一旦准备好迎接感情，这些人也往往更开心。

If someone refuses to take that succinct response for an answer, and if you feel inclined to share, Nikki suggests hitting them back with, "This is where I am in my life, and I'm actually really happy." If someone is so interested in your love life, they must care about you, right? And they can't have much to say further if they know that, most importantly, you're happy.

如果有人不信你简明扼要的答复，如果你愿意分享的话，尼克建议你可以回击这样一句，"现在我的生活就是这样，而且我真的很开心。"如果有人对你的感情生活十分感兴趣，那他们肯定是关心你的，对不？如果他们知道你很开心的话，他们应该不会再说什么了吧！