如何对付满嘴脏话的同事

I have a senior colleague who is good at his job, but so bad with people, I think he may be on the autistic spectrum – as well as being a borderline alcoholic with bad body odour. Recently a new computer system has been installed, which we all find frustrating but he keeps shouting a strong obscenity at the screen. I have tried politely asking him to be quiet, but he said I should go and work in a nunnery if that’s how I felt about it. I feel someone needs to talk to him about some professional boundaries, and possibly about the state of his mental health. How should I handle this?

我有一位资深同事，工作十分出色，为人却十分糟糕。我想他可能是个泛自闭症患者，还是个有体臭的边缘型酗酒者。最近，公司里安装了新的计算机系统，我们都觉得这个系统很烦人，而他则不断对着屏幕喊不堪入耳的脏话。我曾试过礼貌地要求他保持安静，但他却说，要是我想的话，完全应该去女修道院上班。我感觉需要有人跟他谈谈一些职场中的界限问题，甚或是他的心理健康状况。我该如何处理这个问题？

Associate, female, 28

助理，女性，28岁

Lucy’s advice

露西的建议 The person who appears to be on what you loosely refer to as the “autistic spectrum” is not him, it is you.

那个你随便就称为“泛自闭症患者”的人似乎不是他，而是你。

I’m just trying to picture the scene. This man is sitting in front of his computer, which is stubbornly refusing to do whatever it is he wants it to do. This is an exceptionally aggravating position for anyone to be in. He is responding in a way that is both instinctive and deeply satisfying.

此时我试着重构了当时的画面。这人坐在自己电脑前，不论他让电脑干什么，电脑就是固执地不照办。对任何人来说，这种处境都令人大为光火。他的反应方式不但是一种本能，还能令他得到深深的释放。

When a colleague succumbs to a fit of wild, foul-mouthed computer rage, it is a cue for you to sit back and enjoy it. It is always comic in a slapstick sort of way when people lose it with inanimate objects. Such outbursts are undignified, and allow everyone else to feel agreeably superior for their better mastery either of the new system or of their temper.

当一位同事因为电脑而陷入一种抓狂而满嘴脏话的愤怒状态时，对你来说，这意味着你可以往椅子上一靠，好好享受这一时刻了。一个人对毫无生命的物体失去理智，这种场景总是像闹剧一样滑稽。这样大发脾气很丢脸，它让所有其他人都产生一种愉快的优越感，因为他们要么对新系统、要么对自己的脾气有更好的掌控。

What it is not a cue is for you to pipe up and ask him to mind his language. When someone who is already incensed and swearing like a trooper gets interrupted by a young woman asking them not to, the natural thing for them to do is to pick up the computer and hurl it at her. The fact that he did not do this but merely commented that your personality might be better suited to a convent than an office, suggests his professional boundaries are in excellent repair.

同时，你绝不应该做的，是贸然与他谈话，要求他注意自己的言辞。如果一个人已处于勃然大怒之中，并且嘴里骂骂咧咧，这时一位年轻女士突然打断他，要求他不要这么做，他最自然的反应会是抓起电脑扔向这位女士。但事实上这人并没有这么做，而是仅仅说你的性格可能更适合女修道院而不是办公室，这表明他非常成功地守住了自己的职场界限。

As a result of this ugly little scene, you each think poorly of the other. This is much more of a problem for you than it is for him, as he is above you in the pecking order. He is also generally believed to be good at what he does, while it is not clear if anyone thinks you are good or not. So the first thing I suggest you do is concentrate on not offending him further.

这件不快的小事造成的后果是你们彼此留下了很差的印象。这给你造成的问题比他大，因为他在公司的地位比你高。另外，大家都认为他的工作很出色，而大家是否觉得你的工作表现很出色还不清楚。因此，我建议你要做的第一件事是注意不要再冒犯他了。

If you insist on doing something, try to find out whether your colleagues are offended by his smell and alleged fondness for the bottle too. If so, tell your boss and let him sort it out.

如果你坚持要做点什么，你可以试着调查一下你的同事们，对于他的体味和据你所说他对杯中之物的癖好，他们是不是也难以忍受。如果确实是这样，把情况反映给你的老板，让他来解决问题。

In the meantime you could try to get yourself a desk a bit further away, though a better option would be to put up with it.

同时，你也许可以争取一张远一点的办公桌。不过，更好的选择可能是“忍”。

Learning to tolerate colleagues who do not appeal to you is a skill. If you plan on working with other people for the next 40 years or more, it is one better acquired sooner rather than later.

学会忍受你不喜欢的同事是一种技能。如果你在今后40年或更长时间里打算与他人共事，这种技能你越早学会越好。

Your advice

读者的建议 Hamlet, sane

你的哈姆莱特同事可不傻

Your colleague had enough frame of mind to make a Hamlet reference, so I doubt he is that oblivious to reality.

从你的同事还有足够心情发出哈姆莱特式的牢骚来看，我怀疑他对现实是否真的这么一无所知。

I work with engineers and so don’t find there to be anything frightening about what you have described. (a) Being on the autism spectrum is wildly over-diagnosed, especially by armchair psychologists, and (b) everyone shouts constantly at their computer screens. If he is being terrible to colleagues at or below him, he is not autistic or insane or alcoholic, he is just nasty.

我的同事是一些工程师，因此我没觉得你描述的情形有什么可怕。首先，说某人是泛自闭症患者是一种粗暴的过度诊断，尤其当诊断者是那些坐在扶手椅子上、两耳不闻窗外事的心理学家的时候；其次，我们这里每个人都在不断对着电脑屏幕大吼。如果他对与他平级或级别低于他的人很糟糕，那么他不是自闭，不是疯了，也不是酗酒者，他不过是令人讨厌而已。

Anon, male

匿名，男性

Grave-digger

他在为自己掘墓

It sounds like your rude colleague is digging his own grave fast, so one option would be to encourage him and accelerate the process.

听起来好像你的粗鲁同事正在飞快地为自己挖掘坟墓。因此，对你来说，有个选择是鼓励他接着挖下去并且挖得再快一些。

Anon, male

匿名，男性

Mind your own

管好自己的事

Simple. Mind your own business – it is not your role to reprimand a senior colleague. You have no idea of his circumstances and it is not your place to speculate and gossip about his mental state.

答案很简单，管好自己的事。责备一位资深同事不是你该做的事。你根本不了解他的处境，你也不该揣测并私下谈论他的心理状况。

Female, anon

女性，匿名

Promote him

提拔他吧

Promotion is the answer– he can have an office in which to store his bad body odour and shout at his screen to his heart’s content.

答案是提拔他。这样他就能拥有自己的办公室，一方面这可以关住他糟糕的体味，另一方面他可以随心所欲地对着屏幕大吼。

Chairman, 58

董事长，58岁

No shame in it

无需为此尴尬

If this senior colleague swears at work although he has been asked to stop, and keeps doing it because he is an idiot, he should get a warning.

如果这位资深同事工作时在有人阻止的情况下还要大声咒骂，而且他由于脑子有问题而屡教不改，警告他是应该的。

But if he swears because he has anger or other issues, it is another story. Helping someone deal with mental health issues definitively requires the help of a health professional. You should raise your concerns with HR, and, if necessary, HR should advise this senior colleague to consult a health professional. There is no shame in it.

但如果他的咒骂是出于愤怒或其他问题，这就是另一回事了。帮人处理心理健康问题绝对需要健康专业人士的协助。你应该向人力资源部门反映你的忧虑。如果必要，人力资源部门应该建议这位资深同事向健康专业人士求助。你不必为此感到尴尬。

Female, anon

女性，匿名

Productivity hit

重要的是工作效率

There is enough evidence that this behaviour damages productivity, which is why most blue-chip companies have strict guidelines. Except if you are a trader, in which case it is considered an outlet of stress.

有足够证据表明，这种行为会降低工作效率，这正是为什么多数蓝筹公司有严格的工作纪律，除非你是名交易员——对交易员来说，他们认为这么做是一种舒缓压力的途径。

Anon

匿名