孙远GMAT作文讲义（四）

　　十一、Issue的立场问题

　　评分依据是：是否有效地支持了你的立场

　　Taking a Position:

　　1. Agreeing with concession

　　2. Disagreeing with concession

　　3. Refusing to take sides

　　4. Agreeing

　　5. Disagreeing

　　十二、是非问题例文分析

　　Case Study 3

　　The rise of multinational corporations is leading to global homogeneity. People everywhere arc beginning to want the same products and services, and regional difference are rapidly disappearing. homogeneity: sameness, similarity.

　　Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion expressed above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples based on your own experience, your observations, or your reading.

　　Students Essay

　　During the past few decades, multinational corporations have successfully implemented strategies expanding themselves into almost every comer of the world. The products and services they provide are almost the same, leading to global homogeneity, indeed.

　　The most prominent corporation among all has to be McDonald Inc. There is really no doubt that McDonald is a pioneer in globalizing its most produced and yet very -- American -- taste hamburgers. Some 6 years ago in China, People usually did not care for foreign food. Very few people ever knew the taste of cheese, a symbol of difference in oriental and Western food. However, McDonald proved to be huge success in China. The first branch it opened in Beijing is the largest among its thousands franchises. Hamburgers, French fries, Big Mac are becoming household words in China. Especially among the younger generations, going to McDonald once in a while becomes a routine activity in life, just as kids in other parts of the world do.

　　There is really no better place than China that can demonstrate how homogeneous our world has become. Another great example is Coca Cola. Everyone hated the taste when they drank Coca Cola in the first time. In China, the taste is so different from the traditional soft drinks sold in China, which mainly feature sweet taste and fruit flavor. The color of the Coke is also not liked because of its similarity to most herbal medicine fluids. But it seems that people simply want Coca Cola because they see people drink it and love it in other countries. Peoples tastes can change, and they did gradually. Now Coca Cola is the best sold soft drink in China, and in many other countries where Coke was originally disliked.

　　These all have to be attributed to the financial power of multinational corporations. With superior financial strength and successful products and services, these giants are shaping the world and the people living in it into their own favor, making people want the same products and services, and regional differences have been disappearing.

　　Revised Essay

　　Why are people everywhere beginning to want the same products and services? Why are regional differences rapidly disappearing? The arguer asserts that it is the rise of multinational corporations that is leading to this global homogeneity. We dont have to look very far to see the validity of this argument.

　　During the past few decades, multinational corporations have successfully implemented strategies expanding themselves into almost every corner of the world, bringing the same products and standard services to customers of different countries and regions. The most striking example among all is perhaps McDonald Inc, which has miraculously globalized its mass-produced American-flavored hamburger all over the world. Take China for an example. Some 6 years ago, Chinese people did not care for foreign food; very few people knew the taste of cheese--a symbol of difference between Oriental and Western food. However, with its overwhelming advertising campaigns, with its efficient management, with its standardized foods and services, McDonalds has proved to be a great success, turning Hamburger, French fries, Big Mac into household words in China.

　　In addition to McDonalds, Coca-Cola is another striking example of the globalizing trend in world culture. Today almost in every country of the world, people instinctively think of Coca-Cola when they want to drink something. Obviously, with the rapid emergence of numerous multinational corporations like McDonald and Coca-Cola, people of different races and cultures are more and more likely to eat, drink, wear and use uniform commodities.

　　Admittedly, the rise of multinational corporations is not the only factor that has contributed to the global homogeneity. First, the more and more prosperous international travel has provided people of every nation with more and more opportunities to visit and learn from foreign cultures. Second, television has made it possible for people of different places to understand and imitate each others way of life. Last but not least, the Internet is connecting every office and family, turning the whole world into a global village.

　　In conclusion, while numerous other factors have contributed to and are still adding to the globalizing trend, the rise of multinational corporations is certainly one major force in shaping a homogeneous world.

　　Case Study 4

　　Every business decision is based on the profit motive. Even charity has as its ultimate goal generating good will for the person or group doing the charity.

　　Assuming that the term business decision is broad enough to include the decisions of any decision-making authority--an individual, a family, a small business or a large corporation--explain whether you think that this point is valid. In your discussion, use reasons and/or examples drawn from your own experience, observation, or reading.

　　Students Essay

　　Many people believe that profit motive is the base of every business decision. Even ultimate goal of people or groups is to make profit when they are doing charity. I think that sometimes people make decision based on profit , but it is not always true.

　　The claims may be real and understandable under certain circumstances. In order to remain in existence, people or organizations must get profit. For example, a food-processing company may donor its products to Africa children, so it can solve its excessive store, get a good reputation and publicity its products. At last, it can gain ultimate its aim--making more money.

　　Although this thing may be happening in our lives, I think it is not consistent with general facts. I believe many peoples decision rests on love sympathy, humanity and other things. The famous nurse--Nightingale is a good example: She was born in a rich family and she could live in a cozy, fortunate life. But she chose to be a nurse and devoted her life to the wound and the poor. Nobody can say what all she did is to make profit.

　　In conclusion, I hold that business decision sometimes is based on the profit motive, but in most cases, it is based on peoples emotion or character.

　　Revised Essay

　　Many people believe that profit motive is the basis of every business decision. Furthermore, they claim that the ultimate goal of every people or group including charity organizations is to make profit. In my opinion, it is true that people often make decisions by calculating profit, but it is unfounded to assert that any decision-making is motivated by profit.

　　The arguers claim may be true and understandable under certain circumstances. For one thing, in order to survive in the economic world, people or organizations have to make profit. As we know, the first thing that people must do on earth is to survive. Without adequate profit out of investment, no single human being or organization can make a living. For another, individuals or organizations are instinctively dissatisfied with what they have already achieved. They strive for further development, for greater success and hence for higher profit. For example, a food-processing company may donate its products to African children so that it can not only reduce its overstocking products, but also win a good reputation and publicize its products. As it turns out, the ultimate result is always expectedly rewarding--big bucks.

　　Although people all over the world spare no pains to seek fortune through various means, it is unwise for us to conclude that any decision-making is necessarily profit-oriented. First, some examples of altruism are difficult to explain in terms of self-interest alone. The famous nurse Nightingale is a good example. Born in a rich family, she could naturally live a cozy, fortunate life. But she chose to be a nurse and devoted all her life to the wounded and the poor. Nobody can say for sure that all she did is to make profit. Second, this argument is not consistent with the fact that human motivation is far too complex. Many of our daily decisions rest on love, sympathy, humanity and other things. Finally, it is ridiculous to lump together profit and good will. Obviously, these two terms are not interchangeable.

　　In conclusion, the arguer oversimplifies human nature. Although business decisions and many of our daily decisions are based on the profit motive, it would be too cynical to assume that profit is the only thing that motivates people in the world. I wonder if the speaker has any hidden profit motive in making this argument, which is certainly not a profitable idea.

　　十三、Language Skills

　　1. Sentence Variety

　　Example 1:

　　Change: Beijings streets are crowded with taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. The number has been rising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statistics show there are now 1.2 million vehicles in Beijing alone.

　　To: Taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent have crammed Beijings streets in rising numbers in the last few years--1.2 million vehicles at last count.

　　Example 2:

　　Change: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This alone is now being preserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It is being preserved as a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　To: Of the thousands of buildings that met the same fate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclear explosion, is now being preserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　Example 3:

　　Change: It was quite obvious at that time that IQ equals intelligence. Since then, however, many people have seriously criticized the idea.

　　To: The idea that IQ equals intelligence seemed obvious at the time but has since come under much criticism.

　　Parallel Structure

　　Example 1:

　　Change: He retired respected by his associates, admired by his friends, and his employees loved him.

　　To: He retired respected by his associates, admired by his friends, and Loved by his employees.

　　Example 2:

　　Change: As a young man he had been to Shanghai, had fought in the Anti-Japanese War, and following the Nationalist Party to Chongking.

　　To: As a young man he had been to Shanghai, had fought in the Anti-Japanese War, and had followed the Nationalist Party to Chongking.

　　Example 3:

　　Change: This could be a problem for both the winners and for those who lose.

　　To: This could be a problem for both the winners and the losers.

　　Example 4:

　　Change: The sentences are difficult to understand, not because they are long but they are obscure.

　　To: The sentences are difficult to understand, not because they are long but because they are obscure.

　　Example 5:

　　Change: He explained that the advertising campaign had been successful, business had increased more than forty percent, and additional capital was sorely needed.

　　To: He explained that the advertising campaign had been successful, that business had increased more than forty percent, and that additional capital was sorely needed.

　　3. Attributive Clause

　　Example 1:

　　Change: It is a truth that is universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

　　To: It is a truth that is universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

　　Example 2:

　　Change: Only a person who is oblivious to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.

　　To: Only a person oblivious to the facts of modern life would doubt the need of vocational education today.

　　4. Pronouns

　　1) Change: He wanted his teachers to think he was above average, as he could have been if he had used it to advantage.

　　To: He wanted his teachers to think he was above average, as he could have been if he had used his ability to advantage.

　　2) Change: My sister is a biology teacher, it is a profession I know nothing about.

　　To: My sister is a biology teacher, but the teaching of biology is a profession I know nothing about.

　　3) Change: We should have prepared for our examination earlier. It is too late to do it now.

　　To: We should have prepared for our examination earlier. It is too late now.

　　5. Punctuation Marks

　　冒

　　1)ost sports programs, despite their excesses, manage to promote the old virtues such as self-confidence, personal responsibility, teamwork, persistence, the ability to win and lose with grace.

　　2) For Omar Khayyam, a Persian Poet, three things are necessary for a paradise on earth: a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and ones beloved.

　　破折号:

　　1) What he lacked in intelligence--and he lacked a good deal--he made up for in physical strength.

　　2) In many parts of the developing world, lifes basic necessities--food, clothing, shelter, and taxes--gobble up peoples earnings.

　　3) Every afternoon, Larry has two hours of track practice. He has followed the same routine five days a week since he was seven--all in hopes of winning a college athletic scholarship and eventually a shot at the Olympics.

　　4) Government is only as good as the man in it--which is why it needs more women.

　　分号:

　　1) The world is a comedy to those that think; a tragedy to those that feed.

　　2) Science needs to live alongside religion, philosophy, history and esthetic experience; alone it can lead to great harm.

　　3) According to one national survey, high school boys expected a starting salary of $19,500 for their first full-time job; on the other hand, high school girls expected a starting salary of only $15,000.

　　括号:

　　1) For a long time , women were thought to be inferior to men.

　　2) We think , that we have nothing to discover, and the only things of the utmost importance to us concern the present of the man.

　　十四、Prep Tips

　　1. Recite the outlines;

　　2. Prepare essay frames;

　　3. Write as many essays as possible according to your conditions;

　　4. Read and recite sample essays and the materials in the KIT of my book;

　　5. Learn to revise your own essays according to the following checklist:

　　作文自查清单

　　1).是否针对题目写作，有没有跑题?

　　2).结构是否合理，有无完整的开头、正文和结尾?

　　3).是否在开头段提出了自己的立场?

　　4).中间段落每段是否有主题句?

　　5).中间段落每段是否用事例或理由支持该段的主题句?

　　6).是否使用连接词使文章上下文连贯、通顺?

　　7).每段是否有句式变换?

　　8).结尾段是否总结了自己的理由并重申了自己的立场?

　　9).语言方面是否有下列错误：大小写错误、标点符号错误、拼写错误、串句、错 位修饰、排比错误、主谓语不一致、定语从句错误、时态错误、名词单复数错误、搭配错误、词性错误、用词不当。