在自然中生活

“在自然中生活”，我的理解就是人不要受拘束，顺其自然地生活、成长，不会轻易地因为一个目标去特意地改变自己的目标、思想，改变自己的生活。

"Living in nature", my understanding is that people should not be constrained to live and grow naturally, and they will not change their goals, thoughts and lives because of one goal.

我们曾学过一篇课文《种树郭橐驼传》。课文中的郭橐驼所种的树或移植的树，没有不成活的，有人效仿他，但没人能比得上。这是为什么呢？郭橐驼说：“我并不是能让树木活得长久，并且繁殖得多，只是能顺应树的自然生长规律，让它充分发展罢了，而别的种树人却不是这样，他们栽种时，根弯曲不能伸展，根周的土壤换成新的。爱惜树太用心，担心得太过分，更严重的还用手指甲划破树皮，检查是否成活，摇动它的树干来看土培得松还是紧，这样使树的天性一天天远去。虽说是爱护它，实际上是害了它；虽说是担心它，实际上是与它作对。”种树的方法使人们得到休养生息的方法。

We have learned a text "the legend of planting trees and camels". There is no tree planted or transplanted by Guo Tuotuo in the text that does not survive. Someone imitates him, but no one can match him. Why is that? Guo Tuotuo said: "I'm not able to make trees live long and reproduce much, but I can adapt to the natural growth law of trees and make them fully developed, while other tree growers are not. When they plant, their roots are bent and can't be extended, and the soil around the roots is replaced with new ones. Cherish the tree too carefully, worry too much, and even more seriously, use your fingernails to cut the bark, check whether it survives, shake its trunk to see whether the soil is loose or tight, which makes the nature of the tree go away day by day. Though it is to love it, it is actually to harm it; though it is to worry about it, it is actually against it. " The method of planting trees gives people a way to recuperate.

燕国寿陵有个少年，听说赵国都城邯郸的人走路的步伐非常优美，便不顾路途遥远，特地到那里去学步伐。那里的人走路确实与寿陵人不一样，并优美得多，他觉得不虚此行，打算好好地学。因此，他跟在人家后面模仿，但怎么学也学不会。于是他放弃了原来的步伐，照邯郸人的步伐走路。结果，到头来不但邯郸人的步伐没学会，反而还把自己原来的步伐给忘了，不得不爬回寿陵去。从此“邯郸学步”就广为流传了。这个典故告诉我们，因为一个目标而刻意地去改变自己，不但学不到别人的长处，反而会把自己原来的优点和本领也丢掉。模仿就是模仿，不但永远不可能成为真他，反而永远失去了真我，可悲呀！

There was a young man in Shouling of Yan state. He heard that people in Handan, the capital of Zhao state, walked very gracefully, so he went there to learn to walk regardless of the distance. It's true that the people there walk differently from those in Shouling, and they are much more beautiful. He thinks it's worth the trip and plans to study hard. Therefore, he imitates others, but he can't learn how. So he gave up his original steps and walked according to the steps of Handan people. As a result, in the end, not only did Handan people not learn their steps, but also forgot their original steps and had to climb back to Shouling. Since then, "learning to walk in Handan" has been widely spread. This allusion tells us that if we deliberately change ourselves because of a goal, we will not learn from others' strengths, but will lose our original strengths and abilities. Imitation is imitation. It is not only impossible to be true, but also sad to lose the true self forever!

原来，树也与人一样，需要追求、爱护，更需要自由。或许，我什么树也做不了，人也不可能有来世。但是，今生今世，我希望自然真实地生活，有欲望，有追求，有思想，有目标，不需要去模仿别人，改变自己，改变自己的目标，改变自己的生活方式，只需要沿着我自己想要的生活前进。我就是我，没有过多的牵绊，没有过多的忧虑和担心，习惯成自然，在自然中快乐地生活。

It turns out that trees, like people, need pursuit, love and freedom. Maybe, I can't make any trees, and people can't have afterlife. But in this life, I hope to live naturally and truly, with desire, pursuit, thought and goal. I don't need to imitate others, change myself, change my goal and change my life style. I just need to move forward along the life I want. I am me, not too much entanglement, not too much worry and worry, used to become a natural, happy life in nature.

同学们，做回自己吧！不需要牵强地去学别人。在自然中生活，顺其自然地生活，只有这样才能发挥自己的优势和特长，才会快乐地、健康地成长。

Students, be yourself! You don't need to be far fetched to learn from others. Only in this way can we give full play to our advantages and strengths, and grow up happily and healthily.

【失分警示】

[point loss warning]

文章从解释“在自然中生活”的含义开篇，点明中心观点。主体部分举课文《种树郭橐驼传》中的郭橐驼种树和典故“邯郸学步”为例，阐明人要顺其自然地生活、成长的道理，并联系实际写自己的愿望。文章最后再次明确观点，发出号召。文章思路清晰，结构完整。

This paper begins with an explanation of the meaning of "living in nature" and points out the central point of view. The main part takes guotuotuo tree planting and the allusion "Handan learning step" in the text "guotuotuo biography of tree planting" as an example to clarify the truth that people should live and grow naturally, and write their own wishes according to the reality. At the end of the article, I make clear my point of view again and give a call. The article has clear thinking and complete structure.

但遗憾的是，第一个事例叙述的角度不是很恰当，从而影响了文章的表达效果，这个事例应该从树的角度来叙述，且只是叙述事例，缺乏对事例必要的分析，使事例与观点之间缺乏逻辑联系，有点割裂；文章是一篇议论文，但文体特征不明显，段落之间也缺乏必要的过渡，只是事例的简单堆砌。此外，文章的语言还欠火候，还有点稚嫩，虽然流畅但缺乏美感，生动性不足。(罗胤)

Unfortunately, the angle of the first case is not very appropriate, which affects the expression effect of the article. This case should be narrated from the perspective of tree, and only narrates the case. The lack of necessary analysis of the case makes the case lack of logical connection with the point of view, which is a bit separated. The article is a argumentative paper, but the stylistic features are not obvious, and the paragraphs are also lack of necessity The transition is just a simple pile of examples. In addition, the language of the article is still immature and a little immature. Although it is fluent, it lacks beauty and vividness. (Luo Yin)