都说十八九岁的女孩如初升的太阳,轻轻地走出地平线,亭亭玉立在澄澈的海面,沾着雾气,漾着柔波;都说十八九岁的女孩如刚刚绽放的百合,缓缓扬起嘴角的笑,乖巧地含着小巧的下巴,带点稚气,透着娇媚;都说十八九岁的女孩如透着灵气的小公主,轻跳着扯出裙角的顽皮,爱扮可爱的鬼脸,有些调皮,有些任性……我也是个十八九岁的女孩,从小娃起,跌跌撞撞地成长为大姑娘。女孩的成长很奇妙,女孩的成长滋味多。
It's said that 18-9-year-old girls, like the rising sun, gently walk out of the horizon, stand on the clear sea, with mist and soft waves; it's said that 18-9-year-old girls, like lilies just blooming, slowly raise a smile at the corners of their mouths, cleverly hold a small chin, with a little childish and charming; it's said that 18-9-year-old girls, like little princesses with aura, lightly jump Pull out the naughty skirt, love to play cute faces, some naughty, some willful I am also an 18-9-year-old girl. I have grown up to be a big girl from a little girl. Girl's growth is very wonderful, girl's growing taste is much.
小小的童年是小小的梦,像小小的手中握的果汁,甜甜的。我是个乖巧的孩子。幼儿园里最静的是我,家里最闹的是我。还记得放学跑出幼儿园,笑眯眯地扑进妈妈怀中,嘟着小嘴,扬着小脸要妈妈亲,妈妈脸上永远是宠溺的笑脸。
Small childhood is a small dream, like a small hand holding juice, sweet. I'm a smart kid. The quietest thing in kindergarten is me, and the most noisy thing at home is me. I still remember running out of the kindergarten after school, smiling and jumping into my mother's arms, tooting my mouth and raising my face to ask my mother to kiss me. My mother's face is always a spoiled smile.
小小的童年有小小的快乐,大大的幸福!喝一口手中的果汁,嗯,它是甜甜的。
Little childhood has little happiness, big happiness! Take a sip of the juice in your hand. Well, it's sweet.
吾家有女初长成,花季的少女有了小小的烦恼,摇摇杯中香淳的咖啡,是什么滋味呢?
My family has a girl who has just grown up. The girl in the flower season has a little trouble. What's the taste of shaking the fragrant coffee in the cup?
呀!额头上的痘痘,好多好多书要念,同班女生的花裙子真的好漂亮,隔壁班的男生比我们班的帅……十五六岁的小女生总爱想些纯纯的小事情。爱想,爱烦,爱感慨!痘痘多了变丑了,好多书念着真累,唉,小女生呀小女生,什么东西那么烦,什么东西值得伤脑筋呢?这也是我,小小的花季大大的烦恼……再轻摇手中的咖啡,香气扑鼻多么美好,轻轻啜一口,嗯,它是又苦又甜的。
Ah! The acne on the forehead, a lot of books to read, the flower skirt of the girl in the same class is really beautiful, the boy in the next class is more handsome than our class 15-6-year-old girls always like to think about pure little things. Love think, love trouble, love emotion! Acne more ugly, a lot of books read really tired, ah, little girls, little girls, what is so annoying, what is worth worrying about? It's also a big worry for me, a little flower season Shake the coffee in your hand again. It's fragrant. Take a sip. Well, it's bitter and sweet.
走出了花季,路过了雨季,十八九岁的女孩又长大了。我是一个大姑娘,扎着高高的马尾,白色T恤加牛仔裤。不爱想不爱烦。手中握着一瓶娃哈哈纯净水,冰冰的凉凉的,阳光下的透彻,心里清凉。走进了高中,栽进了书堆,干巴巴的生活要低调。乖乖地读书,乖乖地生活,乖乖地过着校园生活。有空打打球,哼哼歌。没了童年爱闹的热情,没了少年爱愁的闲情,静静地出落成一个大姑娘,就那样淡淡地,带点白玉兰的芬芳的生活,嘴角牵起一丝淡淡的笑……十八九岁的生活像纯净水,冰凉舒适,平淡却也适合心境……喜欢甜蜜蜜的童年,喜欢苦中带甜,甜中渗着苦的少年,也喜欢平平淡淡略带清甜的十八九的年华。我的生活很奇妙,我的生活很精彩!女孩的成长滋味多,女孩的成长滋味妙!
Out of the flower season, passing the rainy season, the 18-9-year-old girl grew up again. I'm a big girl with a high ponytail, a white T-shirt and jeans. Don't love to want to love to be bored. Holding a bottle of Wahaha pure water in hand, it's cold and cold, thorough in the sun, cool in the heart. Into high school, into the pile of books, dry life to low-key. Study, live, and live a campus life. When you have time to play, hum. Without the passion of childhood and the carefree love of youth, she quietly emerged as a big girl, just like that, with a little fragrant life of Magnolia, holding a faint smile at the corner of her mouth Eighteen or nine year old life is like pure water, cold and comfortable, plain but also suitable for mood Like the sweet childhood, like the bitter with sweet, sweet with bitter youth, also like the flat light slightly sweet eighteen nine years. My life is wonderful, my life is wonderful! Girl's growing taste is much, girl's growing taste is wonderful!
点评:这是一篇清新的叙事散文。由女孩成长的三个阶段,对应、紧扣试题材料中的三种“滋味”,比较自然、贴切,并能随着年龄的增长,生动地表现“童年”———“少女”———“大姑娘”心态、爱好的发展变化。
Comments: This is a fresh narrative prose. The three stages of girl's growth, corresponding to and closely related to the three "tastes" in the test materials, are more natural and appropriate, and can vividly show the development and changes of "childhood" -- "young girl" -- "big girl" mentality and hobbies with the growth of age.
本文的最大特色是:语言活泼,情感率真,笔调轻松,没有雕饰、做作的痕迹,没有故做崇高、提升主题之态,形式与内容和谐一致,一位天真活泼、单纯可爱的女孩跃然纸上。
The main features of this paper are: lively language, Frank emotion, relaxed style, no trace of carving and affectation, no reason to be sublime and enhance the theme, harmonious form and content, a naive, lively, simple and lovely girl jumped onto the paper.
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做好这些,也许可以事半功倍
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