带着感动出发

岁月浸染红尘，时间风化记忆。

The years are soaked in the world of mortals, and the time is weathered and remembered.

你们的身影依旧立于高高的精神山冈上。

Your figure still stands on the high spiritual mountain.

那么今朝，请允许我。

Now, please allow me.

带着出发，为你们，怆然涕下。

Take off, for you, pathetic tears.

——题记

-- inscription

翻开史书，我常常会被那些垂青史册的历史人物所感动。他们用自己的一生诠释着感动，为自己的行为写下浓墨重彩的一章。(于是今夕，不如挂一盏明心灯，流一脉思古情，驾一叶之扁舟，带着感动出发，寻找那些感动于心的人们。)

When I open the historical books, I am often moved by the historical figures who are interested in them. They use their lives to interpret the moving, for their actions to write a strong chapter. (so tonight, it's better to hang a bright heart lamp, think about the past, drive a boat with a leaf, and set out with emotion to find those people who are moved by the heart. )

心随苏武

Heart follows Su Wu

(让我们带着感动从贝加尔湖畔出发。)

(let's set out from the Bank of Baikal Lake with emotion. )

胡茄幽怨，如泣如诉，似九霄鹤唳，若高野鸿哀。随苏武同去的节杖已经光秃。寒风再寒，也吹不冷苏武这个汉家男儿的热血。我们怎能不感动？当同伴卫律、李陵已成叛徒之时，只有苏武断然拒绝匈奴的威逼利诱，站在坚贞与铭记之间，他选择与孤冢相伴，与牧羊为群。十九年啊！一个只能靠吃毡毛和雪的汉子，倘若没有心中对大汉的坚守，怎能笑看风雪，赏高山雪莲？

The bitterness of hugao is like crying, like the crane in the sky, like the goose in the wild. The staff that went with Su Wu was bare. No matter how cold the wind is, it can't cool the blood of Su Wu, a Han man. How can we not be moved? When his companions Wei Lu and Li Ling had become traitors, only Su Wu resolutely refused the Hun's coercion and inducement. Standing between perseverance and remembering, he chose to accompany the tomb and herd with sheep. Nineteen years! A man who can only eat felt hair and snow, how can he laugh at the wind and snow and appreciate the snow lotus in the mountains if he doesn't hold fast to the big man in his heart?

(苏武，你用汉家男儿的热血谱写了一曲感动。而我，将携带这份感动出发，顺历史渊源而下。)

(Su Wu, you wrote a moving song with the blood of the Han family man. But I, will carry this to move to set out, follows the historical origin. )

风追司马

Wind chasing Sima

(让我们带着感动从西汉大牢里出发。)

(let's start from the prison of the Western Han Dynasty with emotion. )

冷月相照，透过牢房里窗户的栅栏，静静地泻在冰冷的地面上。司马迁蜷缩在角落里，心中呐喊，汉武帝啊，你怎能因我直谏就动用宫刑？月华如水，抚慰着司马迁受伤的心灵。是的，或许每个人在经受到身体与心灵的双重压迫后，都会从此一蹶不振，然而令人感动的是司马迁没有放弃。宁愿伏案泼墨，也不愿消沉颓靡；宁愿继承父志，也不愿平庸偷生；于是，人们看到了史家之绝唱后坚稳的背影。

The cold moon shines on the cold ground quietly through the bars of the windows in the cell. Sima Qian curled up in the corner, shouting in his heart, Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty, how can you use the imperial punishment because of my direct advice? The moon is like water, comforting Sima Qian's injured heart. Yes, maybe everyone will never recover from the double oppression of body and mind. However, it is touching that Sima Qian did not give up. It is better to lay down the case and splash ink than to be depressed and despondent; it is better to inherit the will of the father than to live in mediocrity; therefore, people see the firm back of the historian after his unique performance.

(司马迁，你用挫折编成了一支羊毫，抒写了感动的心。而我，将携带这份感动出发，穿越历史的长河。)

(Sima Qian, you have compiled a sheep's hair with setbacks and expressed your moving heart. And I, will carry this moving set out, across the long river of history. )

天佑中华

God bless China

(让我们带着感动从5月12日后的中国每一处出发。)

(let's start from every part of China after May 12 with emotion. )

2008年5月12日，一个灾难性的时间牵动着每一个中国人的心。且不说社会各界踊跃捐款捐物，且不说献血者的积极，且不说武装奔赴四川，就说全国哀悼日的三天，令死者安息，令生者敬畏。当人们聚集在天安门广场上高呼“中国加油！四川雄起！”时，我早已泪眼婆娑。没有什么比灾难更痛，而它却也让中华民族凝聚成一座长城，坚不可摧!

On May 12, 2008, a disastrous time affected the hearts of every Chinese. Not to mention the active donations from all walks of life, not to mention the active blood donors, not to mention the armed rush to Sichuan, it is said that the three days of national mourning will rest the dead and awe the living. When people gathered in Tian'anmen Square and shouted "come on China! Sichuan's rise! " By then, I was already in tears. There is nothing more painful than disaster, but it also makes the Chinese nation unite into a great wall, indestructible!

我们，面对突如其来的灾难，手拉手，心连心，共同描绘一幅名叫“感动”的中国画！

We, in the face of the sudden disaster, hand in hand, heart to heart, together to describe a picture called "touched" Chinese painting!

(让我们怀着对古人的追忆，对死者的哀悼，将感动种植于心，时时刻刻带着感动出发！)

(let's remember the ancients, mourn the dead, plant the emotion in our hearts, and start with the emotion all the time! )

【失分警示】

[point loss warning]

这篇文章被判为二类卷：10分(内容)+17分(表达)+15分(发展)。就表达和发展两项考量，文章可圈可点：语言表达酣畅淋漓，没有空浮的华丽，却有盈盈诗意溢荡字里行间；选材的典雅与现代相映成趣，典雅之“心随苏武”和“风追司马”，源自所学教材；现代之“抗震抗灾”的一个个感动的片段。但问题出在哪儿？点题模糊，以致文章脱离“带着感动出发”之眼、之魂。考场作文必须点题，不点题就有离题之嫌，不点题就有事前预备了相似的文章考时照抄之嫌，而水到渠成地点了题就说明文章没有脱离制约的路线盲目乱跑，就说明文章与标题密切相关，彼呼此应。如果能在文章中恰到好处地反复点题，则更能使文章线索清楚，结构严谨，而各部分的内容也更能有机地加强联络。上面文章每一部分的括号文字便是升格后添加的，这样，三个部分就“统一化”，更好地表现主题了。这里，强调一点，考场作文的点题主张醒目。点题要明白题眼，“带着感动出发”的题眼应是“出发”，“带着感动”属于动宾结构，修饰“出发”，所以文章的落脚在“感动”，点睛在“出发”，其实“出发”一词可以拓展：“出发”干什么？“出发”的意义是什么？怎样去“出发”？“出发”的信念是什么？等等这些全凭考生的理解和延伸。(刘德海)

This article is divided into two types of volumes: 10 points (content) + 17 points (expression) + 15 points (Development). From the two aspects of expression and development, the article is worth mentioning: the language expression is hearty, there is no empty and gorgeous, but there is a poetic overflow between the lines; the elegance of material selection and modern contrast, the elegant "heart follows suwu" and "wind chases Sima", from the textbooks; the modern "earthquake resistance and disaster resistance" are moving fragments. But what's the problem? The point is vague, so that the article is separated from the eyes and soul of "starting with moving". The composition in the examination room must be pointed out. If it's not pointed out, it's likely to be off the topic. If it's not pointed out, it's likely to have prepared similar articles and copied them during the examination. If it's natural to place the questions, it means that the article doesn't run blindly without breaking away from the restriction. It means that the article is closely related to the title, so it should be. If we can repeat the questions properly in the article, we can make the clue of the article clear and the structure rigorous, and the content of each part can also strengthen the contact organically. The bracketed text in each part of the above article is added after upgrading, so that the three parts are "unified" to better represent the theme. Here, I would like to emphasize that the point of composition in the examination room is eye-catching. Point to understand the problem eye, "starting with moving" should be "starting", "moving with moving" belongs to the moving object structure, modifying "starting", so the end of the article is "moving", the point is "starting", in fact, the word "starting" can be expanded: "starting" for what? What is the meaning of "departure"? How to "start"? What is the belief of "starting"? And so on these all depend on the examinee's understanding and the extension. (Liu Dehai)