痛苦的离婚过程让我更想再婚

My Painful Divorce Only Made Me Want to Get Remarried Even More

痛苦的离婚过程让我更想再婚

My first marriage was falling apart, imploding at every turn. The love, or whatever was left of it, was going to end whether I liked it or not. It was a bitter pill I spent the months leading up to our split trying to swallow.

我的第一段婚姻失败地很彻底。爱情，或者剩下的一切，不管我愿不愿意，都即将结束了。我花了好几个月的时间才从‘悲伤’中逐渐恢复。

But regardless of how painful the ending of a marriage can be, a sentiment echoed in my heart and mind every day and it was too loud to be ignored as my first marriage inched closer to its impending fate. I wasn't done with love yet and wanted to be remarried after divorce.

但不管这段婚姻的结束有多么痛苦，我的脑海中每天都还是回荡着一种情绪，而随着第一段婚姻即将告一段落，这种情绪越发明显——我还没有失去爱的能力，离婚后我还想结婚。

My heart was split in two. Half of it was in a constant ache from the reality of what was to come of my marriage. But the other half was hopeful and almost all-knowing that a greater love was out there waiting for me. In good time, my heart would feel whole again.

我的心被分成了两半。一半因为婚姻破裂的现实而不停地疼痛，而另一半却又充满希望，认为会有那么一个人在等着爱我。慢慢地，我的心将再次完整。

On a cool-for-Miami March morning, the day I dreaded for so long had come: My marriage was over. As my ex-husband left the home for good, I prepared for life as a single mother. My then 2-year-old and I quickly made a warm, loving home out of our brand-new townhouse for two, and without skipping a beat—aside from a bout of flu that hit us both almost instantly—life went on.

在三月份一个萧瑟的早晨（迈阿密），我害怕已久的那一天到来了：我的婚姻结束了。前夫永远地离开了我们的家，我也开始准备做一位单身妈妈。那时，我和我2岁的孩子很快就从新买的别墅中收拾了两间房，开始了充满温馨和爱的生活——除了一场流感几乎将我俩都打倒外，我们生活得很好——生活也还在继续。

That constant ache now replaced by adrenaline, forced me to keep moving forward in whatever way I felt was best for my daughter and me. But I still clung on to the belief that something was coming, something greater than I had ever known, and it was this sense of knowing that brought me peace every night when I lay my head down at night.

那种持续的痛苦现在已被肾上腺素所取代，迫使我为了女儿和自己以最好的姿态继续生活。但我仍旧坚信，爱会来临的，这种爱比以往遇到的更为热烈，而每晚抚我安睡、伴我入眠的正是这一信念。

That's not to say this time in my life wasn't difficult. It was—single motherhood is not for the faint of heart. "All I know, is that I'm not done with love yet," I'd tell anyone who inquired about my next steps.

但这并不表示离婚后的那段日子并不辛苦。事实上，日子真的很难——但女子本弱，为母则刚。“我只知道，我还没有失去爱的能力，”我会对每一位关心我日后生活的人如是说。