别幻想了，他其实没那么喜欢你……这几个标准你一测便知

不断进化的语言让我们能越来越贴切地表述这个世界。许多词语可以表达“一个人对你没什么意思”，可我们却对此并不熟悉。

What used to be a stricter binary between dating and not dating has turned into a spectrum of "ghosting" to "breadcrumbing" to "haunting" to "orbiting".

曾经，回答约会只有“约”与“不约”两个选项，而现在，两个选项间涵盖了数种可能，从“玩消失”到“撒面包屑”到“阴魂不散”再到“卫星环绕”等等。

What do all of these terms mean? Are they happening to you? Or worse, are you doing them to someone else?

这些表达有何含义？这些事是否发生在了你身上？或者更糟的是，你就是这样对待别人的？

Ghosting 玩消失

What is it exactly? You've gone a few nice dates with someone that by all accounts are going well when all of a sudden they disappear.

“玩消失”到底是啥？你与某人几度约会，两人都觉相处甚欢，可TA突然就不见人影了。

They didn't type "brb", there was no mention of them not paying their phone bill and having no ability to contact you. They just vanished into thin air.

甚至连“马上回来”都不再发给你。不是因为电话欠费，也不是因为无法回复，就是不想理你了，凭空消失得无影无踪。

You can only assume they peacefully passed away. In such a case, you are allowed to actually check your local obituaries.

你也只能当TA已平静离去。碰碰运气，查查当地的讣告，说不定能看见那个人的名字。

obituary [ə'bɪtʃuəri]：讣告

Submarining 潜水上浮

Submarining is the follow up to ghosting should the ghoster re-animate themselves. Spooky! Like a sea vessel resurfacing from the depths of the ocean, someone who submarines reappears in your life out of nowhere.

“潜水上浮”是“玩消失”的下一阶段，表示“失踪人口突然回归”的现象。吓人吧！那早已不联系的某人突然出现在你的生活中，像沉入海底的幽灵船突然又浮上海面。

spooky：幽灵般的；令人毛骨悚然的

They simply bob back in as if they were never gone, as if they don't know the secrets of the ocean's floors.

TA就这样出现在你面前，如同未曾走开，如同未曾潜入海底探秘。

Breadcrumbing 撒面包屑

Like the name suggests, breadcrumbing is someone who leaves you just hungry enough for a more satiating bite. When someone is breadcrumbing you they're leaving just enough nibbles to whet your appetite but not providing you with any real nourishment.

“撒面包屑”，顾名思义，就是某人欲擒故纵，待你饥渴难耐时，才给你尝点甜头。TA给你撒的都是些面包屑，只算开胃小菜而已，并没有任何可供饱腹的养分。

satiate ['seiʃieit]：使满足

whet sb’s appetite (for sth)：引起某人（对某物）的欲望

A text here, a flirty DM there. It's enough to keep you following their trail but beware: When Hansel and Gretel did that they were led to the witch's den.

这边发条短信，那里私信撩一下。你也许自己都没发现，你顺着TA的意思走，走过的这些路，根本就是TA的套路。听过格林童话里《韩塞尔和葛雷特》的故事吗？顺着面包屑走，看似走向了糖果屋，其实正是走进了邪恶巫婆的老巢。

Haunting 阴魂不散

This is yet another follow up to the ghosting trend, but the person has not fully come back to life like they do when they submarine you.

这种情况也是“玩消失”后的下一阶段，但对方不像“潜水上浮”一样完全回到你身边。

After radio silence from them because, you know, they've metaphorically died and turned into a ghost, you notice that they're watching your Snaps or Insta stories. They may even boldly like a status of yours or worse, like a comment on your status. They are still dead but their presence lingers.

在放空一段时间后，你知道TA大概已经变成鬼魂了，但又偏偏阴魂不散。你某天居然在网络访客记录里看见了TA。TA甚至还给你发的状态点了个赞，或者更甚者，还给下面的评论点赞，胆子可真大！你俩不能死灰复燃了，可TA在你的生活里依旧有那么点存在感。

Orbiting 卫星环绕

This is a new term where one party keeps in close proximity to the other without fully touching down in any substantive way. They maintain a presence in your atmosphere. They might send signals that they're into you but they're vague enough you're not placing too much meaning on it.

这个新鲜的表述用来形容某人一直在你身边周旋，可又不会真地走近，保持着一种说不清道不明的暧昧关系。TA也许会向你发出喜欢的信号，但这信号太微弱模糊了，不足以让你揣测其深意。

substantive [səb'stæntɪv]：有实质的

But they're at every party you attend. They like enough of your online posts that you know they're at least intrigued. It's too much to be coincidence, yet like all space matter there's nothing to physically grasp onto. Don't hold your breath waiting for them to land.

可是，TA会出现在你参加的每一个派对上，会给你的网上动态点赞，让你觉得那个人至少是对你感兴趣的。TA的行为简直刻意到不像巧合，可就是看得见抓不着。所以，完全不用屏息费劲等着TA降落了！

Buoying 立浮标

Buoying is the more extreme version of breadcrumbing. Whereas breadcrumbing is lots of little signals, the buoy is one big deed or event that would make you think the person is into you.

“立浮标”是“撒面包屑”的更极端版本。如果说“撒面包屑”是给你许多微小信号，那“立浮标”就是TA做了一件惊天动地的大事，让你觉得TA确实对你有些意思。

buoy [bɔɪ]：浮标

Maybe they helped you move one weekend or wrote you a gushing 3 am email but since then it's been back to the zone de friends.

也许TA在某个周末帮你搬家，在凌晨三点发给你了一封情感强烈的邮件。但之后，你们的关系又回到了朋友的范畴。

But you have that one memory and you hold onto it like a buoy in the turbulent waves of crushing on people. Despite no other evidence, this keeps your hope afloat.

可TA给你留下的记忆就像茫茫人海中的浮标，纵使海浪扑头盖来，这浮标依然屹立不倒。浮标也承载着你的希冀，即使TA再不问津，它也依旧漂浮在那儿。

编辑：张曦 焦洁

实习：沈哲远