开会那些事儿：乱写乱画假装很忙

Bullet points, question marks, underlining and a couple of impressive looking equations.

着重号，问号，下划线，还有其他几个令人印象深刻的方程式。

These are the methods used by one cheeky office worker to appear engaged in front of his boss during a mundane meeting.

这就是一位调皮的员工用来在常见的会议上在老板面前假装很忙的方法。

The bored employee uploaded a copy of the hilarious handwritten notes he took during a conference to Reddit on Wednesday so others could learn how simple it is to fool you employer into thinking you're a productive member of staff.

周三，这位觉得开会很无聊的员工将自己在某次会议期间手写的一份非常好笑的笔记上传到Reddit网站上，以便让大家学一下骗老板以为你效率很高有多简单。

'Pretend to pay attention and look like you’re writing important things even though it’s all BS,' he scrawled on a note pad.

他在记事本上潦草地写道：“假装在注意听讲，看上去你在写啥重要的东西，其实啥也不是。”

'Indentation and bullet points are always a nice touch,' he added.

他补充道：“缩进和着重号是不错的点缀。”

After sitting and listening for another ten minutes, the officer worker jotted down some numbers and equations so it appeared he was paying close attention.

又听了十分钟的会议内容后，这位员工草草记下了几个数字和方程式，因此看上去他在开会时很专心。

He had several other pointers about how underlining, using question marks and drawing arrows made your notes look legitimate from afar.

他又提出了几条建议，告诉大家划线标注、使用问号、和画箭头如何能使你的会议记录远远看上去合情合理。

His last piece of advice was to make sure you jam some writing into the margins to 'avoided having to fill up more than one page'.

他的最后一条建议是，在纸张边缘处写些字，免得还要另用一张。

'I can't wait until working in traditional offices are a thing of the past and working remotely from my bed becomes standard,' the man added.

他补充说：“非常盼望在传统办公室工作的时期成为过去，在家办公成为新标准。”

Reddit users were quick to draw comparisons to their own 'waste of time' meetings, while others said the man should have used his time to be more productive.

Reddit网站用户很快就将其和自己参加的“浪费时间”的会议作了对比。也有些人说这位员工应该更高效地利用时间。

'Seriously, I don't know how many "mandatory" meetings I have that are better suited to be email or on the company messenger,' one user wrote.

一位用户写道：“认真地讲，我不知道我参加了多少‘强制’会议，而这些会议内容其实以电邮或者公司内部通讯工具发送会更好。”

'I did that once too! Wrote something like "just writing things down so it looks like I'm paying attention". I still have the notebook at work,' commented another.

“我也这么干过！写一些类似于‘随便写写，这样看起来我在认真参会’的东西在纸上。我还保存有工作时的记事本”，另一位用户评论道。

The writer of another note, obtained by Daily Mail Australia, appears to have taken the man's advice, using dot points to jot down what a waste of time his hour and a half meeting was.

《每日邮报》澳洲版还拿到了另一份会议记录，写下这份会议记录的员工似乎已经采纳了前文所述员工的建议，使用圆点记下了这个长达一个半小时的会议有多浪费时间。

'Projector not working – standard. Good start.'

“投影仪坏掉了，普遍情况，不错的开始。”

'No one is listening to you mate.... bla bla bla,' he wrote.

“讲话的这位，没人在听你说啥啊……吧啦吧啦吧啦”，他写道。

He then took down the date of a quality audit with a short reminder to 'chuck a sickie' that day.

之后他记下了质量审核的日期，加了个简短提醒，那天“请个病假”。

'That’s it. Great. 1.5 hours gone,' he wrote, marking the end of the meeting.

“就这样，不错，会开了1个半小时”，会议结束时他写道。

The unidentified officer worker sat through another unbearable meeting on Thursday and compiled a sassy account of what was said after wasting some time while he waited for his boss to arrive. 这位身份不明的员工周四还耐着性子开完另一个让人难以忍受的会议，写下了一份活泼的会议记录。等老板到会还耽误了一会儿时间。

'Oh yeah, 10 minutes still waiting for directors to arrive.'

“噢耶，还有10分钟主管才能来。”

'No worries, plenty of time, got nothing else to do,' he wrote.

“别担心，时间足够，没啥可做的”，他写道。

He slammed one man for his 'boring' contribution, asking 'how does this relate to my project?'

他还批评了一位在会上说的话“很无聊”的人，问道：“这和我的项目有啥关系？”

'Wow this guy is putting people to sleep. Seriously.' he said, adding that he was the only one in the meeting who bothered to take notes.

“噢这人把大家都催眠了，讲真”，他写道，他还补充说他是会上唯一一个不厌其烦地做记录的人。

Vocabulary

jot down：草草记下，匆匆记下

sickie：一天的病假