婚前五大必问问题，你接招了吗？

These 5 questions are things you should ask each other in order to have a more harmonious, fulfilling marriage together. Knowing the answers to these questions should help make you a better spouse.

在婚前向你的另一半提问以下5个问题，可以促进你们婚后更融洽的相处和更圆满的婚姻。从你的另一半那里了解这些问题的答案会帮助你们成为更好的夫妻。

We don't expect you to do exactly as your partner would like after asking and answering these questions -- after all, their preferences might be completely unreasonable! But it is helpful, at least, to know what their preferences are, so you can be sensitive to them.

我们不希望你完全按照另一半的答案去做---毕竟，他们的喜好可能完全不合理！但是肯定会有用，至少知道他们的喜好你可以心中有数。

1. How much or little can we let ourselves go?

我们能胖或瘦多少？

You may always love your partner, no matter how they look -- that's easy to promise. But attraction is a different beast. Sure, there are some things people can't control (disease-repeated weight gain, genetic hair loss, etc.), but we all have a certain amount of control over the way we look. Do you expect your partner to take pains to fight the aging process, or do you expect that with age (and marriage) comes some amount of inevitable, understandable, and therefore forgivable deterioration? Where along this spectrum do you two lie, and if it's worlds apart, can you meet somewhere in the middle?

你可能会一直爱你的另一半，不管他们长相如何——但承诺容易，吸引力却是不可控的。当然，很多东西人们是没法控制的（体重反复增加、遗传性脱发等），但是我们在长相方面可以自控。你希望看到你的另一半痛苦地与衰老作斗争吗？还是你认同随着年龄的增长、婚姻年限的增加，衰老是不可抗拒、可以理解和原谅的？对于这个问题你们各自的底线是什么？如果两人的意见分歧太大，有没有可以折中的点？

2. Do you want me to tell you if you're having a bad hair (etc.) day?

如果你的发型乱了，你愿意让我提醒你吗？

Yes, it is a spousal responsibility to let each other know if one of you has a piece of toilet paper stuck to their shoe, spinach in their teeth. But what about the other stuff in life? Do you want me to be honest when you try on an outfit for me? Do you want me to honest when you ask if your hair is thinning? Do you want me to tell you if you're being too loud at a party? Etc.

是的，如果另一半的鞋子上黏了一块卫生纸、或者牙缝中有菠菜叶，你有责任提醒TA。但是其他的生活琐事呢？比如说，当你试穿衣服征求我的意见时希望听到的是我的真实想法吗？在询问我你的头发是否有变稀薄的时候，你希望听到的是实话吗？你希望我提醒你在聚会中太过吵闹吗？等等。

3. How do you feel about ladies'/guys' nights out?

我晚上出去参加朋友聚会你是什么感觉？

How often will we be seeing our friends without each other? Are there any activities you would be bummed about if I did them without you?

我们多久可以单独出去参加一次朋友聚会？如果我出去参加活动没有带上你你会不高兴吗？

4. How do you feel about my exes?

你对我的前任是什么感受？

Are we staying in touch with our exes? Just Facebook? Just email? Phone? What about in-person get-togethers? Groups only, or is one-on-one acceptable? Day-time meetings only, or are late-night drinks get-togethers kosher? Etc.

我们可以同前任保持联系吗？如果仅在社交网站脸熟上联系呢？仅邮件、电话联系？还是可以允许见面？如果见面可以的话，是只能聚会中见面还是可以单独见面？只能白天时间见面，还是可以晚上出去一起喝酒？等等。

5. How do you feel about adultery?

对于婚外情呢？

Of course we're promising to never cheat or lie or kiss or sleep with someone else. But let's face it: some people cheat. You may be 100 percent sure you'll never cheat on your partner, but still -- it's good to talk about this stuff anyway. Do you believe that lifelong monogamy is realistic for humans? Is cheating immediate grounds for divorce? If it's just a drunken one-night stand with a complete stranger, would you rather not know, if I promise never to do it again? Okay, probably not, but what if it's just a drunken kiss and nothing more? Do you mind if Itext-flirt with someone, so long as we never do anything? What aboute-flirting with complete strangers?

当然，我们会彼此承诺彼此不允许欺骗、撒谎、亲吻他人、或者与他人滚床单。但是我们一起正视这个问题吧：还是有人会撒谎。你可能百分百确信你永远不会欺骗你的另一半，但是——不管怎样这个问题都值得讨论。你认为一生只爱一个对人类来说可行吗？如果另一半欺骗你，这会导致马上离婚吗？如果只是酒醉的一夜情、并保证不再发生第二次，你会宁愿假装不知道吗？好，很可能你不愿意这样。那么如果只是酒醉无意吻了别人而没有其他呢？你会介意我与别人短信暧昧、但什么也不发生吗？如果是与陌生人暧昧呢？