烦恼要说出来 独自担忧真的会变内伤！

The best way to prevent yourself from becoming paralyzed with worry, writes psychiatrist Edward M. Hallowell, is to simply make sure you never worry all by yourself.精神病学家爱德华·M·哈洛威尔写道：为了不让自己担心到焦头烂额，最好的方法就是确保自己，永远的一无所忧。

Hallowell argues in his new book, Driven to Distraction at Work: How to Focus and Be More Productive, that when you feel real or imagined concerns piling on, share them with a friend, and there's a better chance that aimless anxiety will morph into problem-solving. 哈洛威尔在他的新书《工作中的心烦意乱：如何保持专注和创造力》指出，当你是真的烦恼，或是想象里的烦恼越积越多，同朋友说说，由此为漫无目的的焦虑化解提供一个机会。

He believes that worrying alone is one of the major reasons that people can't focus, both at work and elsewhere in their lives.

他认为人们不能集中注意力的一大原因在工作中或是生活的其他方面独自烦恼。

What exactly is so bad about worrying alone? Why it's so detrimental?

独自担心的危害究竟是什么?如此有害的原因是什么？

Worrying alone does not have to be toxic, but it tends to become toxic because in isolation we lose perspective. We tend to globalize, catastrophize, when no one is there to act as a reality check. Our imaginations run wild. 独自担忧并本身无害，但它往往会变得有害，因为在自我隔离中我们失去了自己的观点。当没有人在现实中扮演检查角色，我们的脑洞会越开越大，变得小题大做。我们的想象力脱了缰。

Indeed, Samuel Johnson, a prodigious worrier himself, called worry a "disease of the imagination”. When we worry alone we risk losing touch with reality, becoming paralyzed in worry, making bad decisions, and even getting sick, as toxic worry depresses immune function.事实上，塞缪尔·约翰逊——一个担忧重度患者，称担心为“想象力的疾病”。当我们独自担心时，我们可能会与现实失去联系，变得为担心焦头烂额，做出糟糕的决定，甚至生病，让有害的担忧压垮了免疫功能。

What does worrying with someone else look like in action? For instance, does this mean you simply describe the things you are worried about to a friend? Or is it best if the pair of you talks about something you're both worried about?

与别人分享担忧表现为什么样的行动?例如,这是否意味着你只是向朋友描述你担心的事情?还是最好你们都对谈论的事情有所担忧？

Doesn't matter if the other person is worried about the same matter or not. You just have to find someone you like and trust. My basic three-step method of worry control is as follows:

不管对方是否和你担心着同样的问题都没有关系。你只需要找到你喜欢和信任的人。我控制担心的基本三步法如下:

1. Never worry alone.

从不独自担忧。

2. Get the facts. (Toxic worry is rooted in wrong information, lack of information, or both.)

获取事实信息。(有害的担忧源于错误的信息，缺乏信息，或者两者都有)。

3. Make a plan. Having a plan reduces feelings of vulnerability and increases feelings of control.

制定一个计划。拥有一个计划可以减少脆弱感和并加强控制。