为什么给男友打扫房间不能收费

About a year ago, I moved into my boyfriend’s house in a new city. I’m renting out my old house for income as I look for work. I pay my partner $100 each month to cover my utility expenses. He pays his cleaning person $160 a month to clean the house twice a month. I am not convinced that the house gets cleaned well, and I have plenty of free time anyway. I offered to clean the house in lieu of the money I pay him, which would save him $60 and me $100. He refuses, claiming that it would be as if he were paying me to clean the house. Would that be so wrong? NAME WITHHELD, SANTA FE

大约一年前，我搬到一个新城市，住进了我男朋友家里。我正在找工作，所以把自己的旧房子租了出去，获得一点收入。每个月我给男朋友100美元作为生活费。他付160美元让清洁工每月打扫两次房子。我觉得房子打扫得也不是很干净，而且反正我有大量空闲时间，所以我提议自己打扫房子，免交日用品费。这样他能省60美元，我能省100美元。但是他拒绝了，说那样的话，感觉像是他在付钱让我打扫房子。我的提议真的很有问题吗？匿名，圣达菲

It’s not wrong. It’s a shrewd request on your behalf. But I think you’re overlooking the real reason your boyfriend doesn’t want to do this: It would make him feel uncomfortable in his own home. It’s strange to pay someone you’re romantically involved with to do work for you, even if the compensation is somewhat indirect. Furthermore, giving you this responsibility would place him in an awkward position should you end up doing a subpar job — he can fire a cleaning person, but he can’t fire his girlfriend.

你的提议没有问题。从你的角度讲，这是个聪明的提议。但我觉得你忽视了你男朋友不想这样做的真正原因：那会让他在自己家里不自在。付钱给跟他谈恋爱的人干活会让他觉得很奇怪，尽管不是直接给钱。况且，给你这个责任会让他陷入一种尴尬的境地——假如你打扫得不够干净的话。他可以解雇一个清洁工，但是不能解雇自己女朋友。

This is an ethics column, so — ethically — I’m on your side. But ethics can’t be the only consideration in a dispute that combines the personal with the professional. This really has nothing to do with morality. Your boyfriend simply doesn’t want to add an unnecessary power dynamic to your relationship.

这是一个伦理栏目，所以从伦理角度讲，我站在你这边。但是在一个既涉及人际关系又涉及职业关系的争论中，不应该只考虑伦理。这真的跟道德没有任何关系。你男朋友只是不想在你们的关系中增加一个无谓的变数。

MOWING UNDER THE INFLUENCE

醉酒后修草坪

I’ve been using the same landscaper for a few years now. On a recent morning, he and I happened to be at the gas station at the same time. He was filling up one of his trucks. As he started the engine, I noticed that he had a Breathalyzer device attached to the ignition — similar to the kind issued to individuals who have been convicted of D.W.I. I am starting to have concerns about my safety and my property. Should I ask the landscaper about this? Is it grounds enough to dismiss him? NAME WITHHELD, WHITE PLAINS

我用同一个园丁好几年了。前不久的一个早上，我和他碰巧同时去了同一个加油站。当时他正在给自己的一辆卡车加油。他发动引擎时，我注意到点火开关上装着一个酒精测量仪——类似于发放给曾经被判酒后驾驶的人的测量仪。我开始担心自己的安全和财产。我应该问问园丁这件事吗？这是否足以让我解雇他？匿名，白原市

First of all, I have no idea why you think a D.W.I. arrest would make this person unfit to tend to your garden. Are you afraid he will get loaded and overprune the petunias? Second, he seems to have the Breathalyzer device attached to the same vehicle he uses for work, so he can’t even show up unless he’s legally sober (I suppose he could theoretically bring a six-pack in his lunchbox and get drunk while he worked — but then he wouldn’t be able to start the truck and drive home). If you want to ask him about his arrest record, that is your right as a person. And if you both had signed a contract when he was hired, and its language included some kind of morality clause, you would be legally justified in firing him. But I see no reason that you would fire a man you’ve employed “for a few years” over a crime that has no relationship to what you’ve hired him to do and only surfaced because you were peeping inside the cab of his vehicle.

首先，我不明白你为什么觉得因酒驾被拘留过的人不适合打理你的花园。你是担心他喝醉后过度修剪你的牵牛花吗？第二，他的酒精测量仪似乎是和他的工作用车连接在一起的，所以除非他从法律上讲是清醒的，否则他根本没法来工作（我知道理论上他可以在午餐盒里装六瓶酒，一边工作一边喝醉，但是那样他就发动不了卡车，无法把它开回家了）。如果你想问问他的逮捕记录，那是你的个人权利。如果你们双方签了雇佣合同，其中包括某种道德条款，那你在法律上有理由解雇他。但我觉得你没必要因为一个跟他的工作无关的罪行（还是你往他的车厢里瞟了一眼才发现的）解雇一个为你工作了“好几年”的人。