你应该掌握的现代社交礼仪

For nearly 250 years, it has advised the British public on the finer points of social etiquette, from how to write a thank you note to what to do when one meets the Queen.

Now, Debrett’s has lifted the lid on its very modern guide to good manners for the first time, disclosing the questions that most trouble the British public in 2017.

1. Mobile phone use

Debrett’s receive more enquiries about mobile use than any other device. According to Debrett’s, it is always rude to pay more attention to a phone than a person in the flesh, and they should always be put away when transacting other business – for example, when you're paying for something in a shop. They should be switched off in theatres, cinemas (including during the trailers!), art galleries, or any space where silence is desired.

2. Smoking e-cigarettes at work

As electronic cigarettes become more popular, so to do the number of enquiries that Debrett’s receive on the device. The most pressing question is whether they are acceptable in the workplace. According to Debrett’s they should never be used in a work environment. Vaping shows that you’re not focused on your work and may also be a distraction to your colleagues.

3. Social greeting: kissing

Many people are clearly unclear on the subject of social kissing. According to Debrett’s, kissing is not appropriate in many professional situations. On the whole it should only be used among friends, but not on first meeting. An air kiss, without contact, may seem rude or impersonal, so very slight contact is best but no sound effects are needed.

4. Eating and applying make-up on public transport

Debrett’s has been inundated with enquiries as to whether it’s acceptable to eat or apply make-up on public transport. According to Debrett’s you should avoid both. It’s inconsiderate to eat smelly food in a confined environment, and applying make-up on public transport can jeopardise that all-important first impression and make you appear disorganised.

5. Reclining your seat on aeroplanes

This is a common bugbear. According to Debrett’s, it's selfish to recline your seat back during short daytime flights. When travelling by plane always stay within your own designated space and don't hog the armrest. Also avoid kicking the back of the seat in front of you or using it as an aid to standing-up.

6. Giving up your seat on public transport

In a recent university experiment only 20 per cent of London tube passengers offered to give up their seat to a visibly pregnant woman. According to Debrett’s, passengers should always offer to give up their seat to any individual that is pregnant, elderly, or clearly in need. It is important to remember, however, that it is just as rude to aggressively decline the offer of a seat as it is to not offer a seat.

7. Blind copying (bcc)

Debrett’s receive a high level of enquiries on best business practice. The most commonly asked question is whether it is ever right to blind copy (bcc) someone into an email. According to Debrett’s, blind copying should be used discerningly as it is deceptive to the primary recipient. Instead, the email should be forwarded on to the third party, with a short note explaining any confidentiality, after its distribution.

If blind copying is essential – i.e. for a confidential document where all recipients must remain anonymous – then the sender should address the email to themselves, and everyone else as ‘bcc’ recipients.

8. Eating before everyone is served

The final question is one that we’ve all asked ourselves: is it rude to start eating at the table before everyone else has been served? According to Debrett’s the simple answer is yes, unless the host or hostess gives their permission for diners to start.

250年来，英国权威礼仪指导机构德布雷特出版社一直给英国民众提供了得体的社交礼仪细节上的指导，包括怎么写一封合适的感谢信，见到女王应该做些什么等。

据英国《每日电讯报》10月28日报道，近日，德布雷特出版社首次公布现代社会的社交礼仪，解答2017年最困扰英国民众的社交礼仪上的问题：

1. 使用手机

德布雷特出版社收到最多的是询问手机使用的问题。出版社指出，在与人交流时，总是低头关注手机是非常粗鲁无礼的行为。在有些场合，比如在店里结账时，手机最好搁置在一旁。特别是在一些需要保持安静的场所比如剧场、电影院（即使是在放片花的时候）和艺术画廊，都应该关闭手机。

2.工作时吸电子烟

如今，电子烟越来越流行，因此，关于在工作时吸电子烟的问题也比较多，在工作场合能否吸电子烟是人们最想知道的。对此，出版社回应称，不应该在工作场合吸烟。吸电子烟表示你没有专心工作，而且也会令其他同事工作分心。

3.接吻礼

很多人都不清楚在什么情况下应该行接吻礼，出版社作出了解答。接吻礼在很多专业性场合都不适用。总体上来说，在亲密朋友中比较常用，而对初次见面的朋友不适用。没有肢体接触的飞吻看起来比较无礼或没有人情味，所以最好有轻微的肢体接触，但不需要发出声音。

4.在公共交通上吃东西或者补妆

出版社也收到很多人询问在公共交通上是否可以吃东西或补妆。对此，出版社称都应避免。在密闭环境中食用味道比较大的食物是不体谅他人的行为，而在公共交通上补妆，把自己乱糟糟的一面展现给他人，会损坏自己给他人的第一印象。

5.乘机时把座椅靠背往后仰

这个问题很常见。出版社明确回应称，白天乘坐短途航班时把座椅靠背往后仰是自私的行为。在乘坐乘机旅行时，还有以下注意点：呆在自己特定的位置，不要占着扶手；不要踢你前面的座椅，或者扶着你前面的座椅站起来。

6.在公共交通上让座

某大学的伦敦最近的实验显示，只有20%的伦敦地铁乘客会给孕妇让座。毫无疑问，出版社的回答是应该给老弱病残孕或有需要的乘客让座。而且，还应当记住的是，好胜地拒绝别人的让座也是无礼的行为。

7.暗抄送

商务实践中的礼节也是民众非常关心的问题，其中最普遍的即在发送邮件时是否可以使用暗抄送。出版社指出，对于原始收件人来说，发件人使用暗抄送是对收件人的隐瞒跟欺骗，因此应该谨慎使用。正确的做法是邮件发送完毕后再将邮件转发给第三方，并附上一小段文字，解释邮件中的内容的机密性。

如果一定要暗抄送，比如，要发送机密文件，接受者必须匿名时，那么发送者可以使用暗抄送。

8.在所有人就坐前用餐

最后一个问题也是我们需要自省的问题：在所有人没有全部就坐前用餐是无礼的吗？答案当然是：是的。除非主人宣布可以就餐，否则不可提前用餐。