每个人都会有遗憾,你最大的遗憾是什么?

We all have regrets, but new research suggests the most common regret among American adults involves a lost romantic opportunity.

我们都有各种憾事，不过新研究显示，美国成年人最普遍的遗憾之事跟错失了一段恋情有关。

Researchers at Northwestern University and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign collected data from 370 adults in the United States during a telephone survey. They asked respondents to describe one memorable regret, explaining what it was, how it happened and whether their regret stemmed from something they did or didn't do.

来自西北大学(Northwestern University)和伊利诺伊大学厄巴纳-香槟分校(University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign)的研究人员收集了在一次电话调查中得到的美国370位成年人的数据。他们在调查中请被访者描述自己记忆中的一件悔事，解释这件事的来龙去脉，以及他们是因为做了某件事还是没有做而懊悔至今。

The most common regret involved romance, with nearly one in five respondents telling a story of a missed love connection. The second most common regret involved family issues, with 16 percent of respondents expressing regret about a family squabble or having been unkind to a sibling as a child.

最普遍的憾事跟感情有关，近20%的被访者讲述了一段与真爱失之交臂的故事。排在第二位的常见憾事则跟家人有关，16%的被访者对某段家庭纷争或小时候欺负了兄弟姐妹而表示后悔。

Other top regrets involved education (13 percent), career (12 percent), money issues (10 percent), parenting mistakes (9 percent) and health regrets (6 percent), according to the study, to be published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science.

其他常被提及的憾事包括教育（13%）、职业（12%）、金钱（10%）、教育子女失策（9%）和健康（6%）。这项研究将发表于《社会心理与人格科学学刊》(Social Psychological & Personality Science)。

"People did mention high school romances, the things that got away from them," said Neal J. Roese, a psychologist and professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern. "Some people said they should have studied something different in college, taken a different career path or followed their passions. Other people said they wished they'd worked less to spend time with children, a parenting regret we heard with some frequency."

“人们确实提到了高中恋情，那些已经离他们远去的事物，”西北大学凯洛管理学院的心理学家、市场学教授尼尔·J·罗斯(Neal J. Roese)说，“一些人说希望在读大学时能选择不一样的专业，走上一条跟现在不同的职业道路，或者追逐自己的理想。还有些人说希望自己过去能少花些时间工作，多放点时间跟孩子们在一起，在关于养育子女上，这是我们常常听到的遗憾。”

The study is notable because past studies of regret have collected data primarily from college students and didn't offer a look at regret among adults of varying backgrounds, education and experiences. Among college students, the biggest regrets tend to center around education, such as wishing that one had studied more or chosen a different major or career.

这项研究之所以引人注目，在于以往关于悔恨的研究通常都是从大学生那里采集数据，未能让人们窥见拥有不同背景、教育和经历的成年人的心理。在大学生中，最普通的悔悟往往集中在教育上，比方说希望自己本可以更努力学习，或者选择一个不同的专业或职业方向。

Participants in the newest study ranged in age from 19 to 103 and came from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds. The findings showed that gender, age and education level all influence the types of regrets people feel.

参与这项新研究的受访者年龄在19岁到103岁之间，而且来自不同的社会经济背景。研究显示，性别、年龄和教育程度均会对人们感受到的悔悟类型产生影响。

Women were far more likely to have romantic regrets, with 44 percent fretting about a lost love, while just 19 percent of men still had relationship regrets. People who were not in a relationship were the most likely to cite a romantic regret.

女性更多地会产生跟恋情有关的遗憾，其中有44%的受访者对一段失去的爱情表示痛惜，而男性中只有19%的人在这方面有遗憾。

No pattern emerged on the reasons for regret. Just as many respondents expressed regret for something they had done as those who felt regret for something they had not done. However, people whose regrets involved something they didn't do or a missed opportunity were more likely to hold on to the regret over time.

在造成遗憾的原因方面则未显现出特定模式。很多受访者为自己曾做过的事情表示悔恨，但也有很多人为自己没做过的事而懊悔。不过，那些因自己未做过什么事情，或为错失某个机会而后悔的人，更难将自己的遗憾抛诸脑后。

"The longer-ago regrets tend to focus on lost opportunities, things you could have done or should have done different," said Dr. Roese. "More recent regrets tend to focus on things you did do that you wish you could take back."

“多年前的憾事，往往跟错失的机会，跟你本应去做、或本应以不同的方式来处理的事情有关，”罗斯博士说，“而新近的憾事往往跟你确实做了，而你在后悔自己不应该去做的事情有关。”

Regrets tended to follow traditional gender roles, with women expressing more regrets about relationships and family issues, whereas men tended to focus on issues involving education, career and money. One in three men had regrets about work and career, compared with one in four women with similar regrets.

悔恨看来遵循着传统的性别角色，女性对感情与家事表达了较多的遗憾，而男性往往更在意教育、职业和金钱这类事情。每三个男人中，就有一个对工作或职业表达了遗憾，而每四个女人中，有一个对类似话题表示遗憾。

Regrets also varied by level of education. Those with less education felt regretful for their lack of education, whereas those with more education were more likely to cite a career-related regret.

悔恨还会因教育程度不同而有区别。受教育较少的人对自己读书不多而后悔，而教育程度较高的人则更有可能对跟职业有关的话题表示遗憾。

Dr. Roese notes that regret can be damaging to mental health when a person fixates or ruminates on the missed opportunity. However, regret, although painful, has the potential to refocus attention and improve decision making.

罗斯博士指出，如果一个人始终对错失的良机念念不忘、心生执念，这会对其心理健康产生不良影响。不过，悔恨虽说让人痛心，但同时也有让人重新找到关注点并改善决策能力的潜力。

"There are ways regret feels bad, but on average, regret is a helpful emotion," said Dr. Roese. "The most helpful way to experience regret is to feel it deeply, get over it quickly and move on and use it to push you to new behaviors that are going to be helpful."

“从某些角度来看，后悔让人感觉很不好，但总体来说，这是种有益的情绪，”罗斯说，“在体验后悔情绪时最有益的方式是，深深感受，然后迅速走出来、往前看，并且利用它驱策你进行有益的新举动。”