如何应对你讨厌的工作

WE all have heard — or at least seen in the movies — great stories about people who are working in soul-destroying jobs, then quit in some spectacular fashion and move on to fabulous second careers.

This isn’t a column about that. Rather, more realistically, it’s about what to do if you’re in a job you dislike — or actively hate — but can’t move on. Maybe you need to pay the rent or the mortgage and you’ve sent out endless résumés and haven’t gotten a bite.

Whatever the reason, you’re stuck. Are there ways to make going into work every day more palatable?

Dawn Rosenberg McKay, who writes the career planning guide on About.com (which is owned by The New York Times), suggests first making a list of all the things you dislike about your job.

Try to do it when you have a little distance, like during a vacation or on a weekend. Don’t cheat and write, “everything.” It may feel that way, but that’s not helpful.

“If you hate your boss, write down the things you hate about her,” Ms. Rosenberg said. Do you like what you do, but dislike your colleagues or boss, or do you despise the actual tasks? Try to separate it out.

Then write down all the things you like about your job, and again, “nothing” is not a satisfactory answer. “Try to find something positive, even if it’s just the neighborhood you work in or the view from your window,” she said.

If you want to switch careers, not just get out of that particular job, Cathy Goodwin, a career consultant who specializes in career transitions, suggested focusing on “developing skills rather than serving time.” What can you learn that you can put on your résumé? Computer skills? Public speaking?

“If your company offers education benefits, use them to make yourself marketable,” she said. Even if your company will pay only $1,000, you can take a class at a community college.

Roy L. Cohen, author of “The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide” (Financial Times Press, 2010), said “a bad job may be a necessary placeholder while you take classes or network for a new and more satisfying job.”

And yes, I can hear the groans out there. I know people who have been networking and applying for jobs for a year or more in the hope of moving on. No one said it would be easy in these tough economic times, or quick.

If you’re stuck, are there particular tasks in your job that you like? Has your job changed so that you’re now doing a lot of things you find mind-numbing or off your career path? Is there any way to talk to your boss about this?

But before you approach your manager, “consider whether how you are being treated is unique to you or shared by your colleagues,” Mr. Cohen said. As firms downsize, many employees are being forced to take on lots of extra work. If everyone is in the same boat, you may just have to accept it.

If you feel, however, that you are unfairly singled out, or if you are truly overwhelmed, think whether there is a way you can talk to your supervisor, Ms. Rosenberg said.

One trouble in many jobs is that workers feel underappreciated or completely unappreciated, Mr. Cohen said. There are some companies where “your boss sees you and your colleagues only as a resource to be used and exploited,” he added. “Don’t expect or look for appreciation to be expressed or for your good work to be acknowledged. In this situation, ‘employee appreciation’ is an oxymoron.”

So what can you do? Look outside your job for positive feedback. Can your family and friends supply it? Perhaps volunteering or joining a professional organization can give you some sense of purpose if you can’t get it from your workplace, he said.

When I was in a job and my supervisors insisted — unfairly, I believed — that I wasn’t producing enough, I found it helpful to document exactly what I was doing. This proved not only important in negotiations with the higher-ups, but also helped re-establish my own sense of worth.

A. J. Russo, a pharmacy technician in Pennsylvania, said she tried to manage her problems with her colleagues by putting the situation in some perspective.

“I try to remind myself that it’s not my co-workers or boss,” she said. “We’re all stressed. There are three of us doing 300 prescriptions a day. I try not to take it personally.”

With car payments and student loans, she said, “I would rather be employed than unemployed.” She said she was determined to stay in her current one until a new job came along.

Ms. Russo said she had complained a lot to her friends outside work, which might help deal with the pain. But, Ms. Rosenberg, the career columnist, cautioned against grousing too much to your colleagues at work.

“They say misery loves company, but you don’t want set a tone in the office,” Ms. Rosenberg said. For one thing, it can get back to the powers that be. And while a little complaining can feel good, too much tends to just compound the negativity.

Be aware of further self-sabotage, Ms. Goodwin said. Sloppy performance, talking back to co-workers or managers or showing up late — that’s what people do when they are unhappy at work. And it can get you fired. You may find out how much you liked, or at least needed, that job once you’re forced out.

There are times, of course, when you have to leave your job before you have another lined up, especially if it’s making you physically or emotionally ill, Ms. Rosenberg said.

A friend of mine, who asked not be named because he was still looking for a job, quit his a year ago after three and a half months. “It was a constant source of stress,” he said. “I was always in a bad mood, even on weekends.” A professional with many working years under his belt, my friend said he knew there were problems just a few weeks into the new job, but he was determined to stick it out.

“But when I went to London for a meeting, I had to double my blood-pressure medication and take a blood-pressure monitor,” he said. “That’s a sign that something’s wrong.”

He acknowledged that he thought he would find another job more quickly than was the case. In the last year, he has done consulting work and even, at times, driven a limousine. But he never regrets leaving.

“The uncertainty is uncomfortable, but it’s better than the certainty of that job,” he said.

If you’re wondering about quitting your job, Ms. Rosenberg provides a useful quiz to help with the decision on her Web site.

And while it’s not easy in our culture, where we tend to “live to work rather than work to live,” as the saying goes, everyone I spoke to agreed we could try to change that perspective. Do you have to work 60 hours a week, or can you shorten your work hours and take a dance or memoir-writing class? Or go to a play?

And beware of idealizing other jobs. It may well be that another position will suit you better.

But remember, just because you’re unhappy in your current job doesn’t mean the next one will be perfect.

据《纽约时报》报道，我们都听说过——或者至少在电影中见到过——那些做着毁灭灵魂的工作的人们，放弃他们华丽时髦的工作，转向令人难以置信的职业。

这并不只是人物专栏，而是更加现实的问题：如果你不喜欢你的工作，或者说主观讨厌的话你会怎么办？但你又不能马上换工作，因为你可能需要钱来付房租或还贷款，你可能投了无数封简历却没有得到任何回应。

不管什么原因，你都被现实卡住了。有没有什么办法能使每天的工作更加愉悦呢？

道恩·罗森博格·麦肯（Dawn Rosenberg McKay）建议大家首先列一个清单，总结一下自己不喜欢工作的哪些方面。道恩在《纽约时报》的子网站About.com上撰写职业生涯规划指南。

建议你尝试在远离工作时列清单，比如在外度假或在周末时。列清单时不要撒谎，不要写讨厌工作中的“所有事”，可能你是这么感觉的，但其实这样列清单毫无用处。

“如果你讨厌你的上司，写出来你讨厌她的具体事项。”罗森博格女士说。你是不是喜欢工作本身却讨厌你的同事或上司？你是不是鄙视实际的工作任务？尽量把他们分清楚，隔开写。

然后再把你喜欢你的工作的方面写下来，同样，写“无”是不符合要求的。“尝试找一些积极的方面，甚至可以是你办公地所在的小区或者你窗外的风景。”她补充道。

如果你不仅仅想摆脱现在的工作，还想要更换职业，凯茜·古德温建议你集中注意“开发自身技能而不是随波逐流”。你能学到哪些可以写进你简历中的技能？电脑技术或者公共演讲？

“如果你的公司给你提供教育经费，用它们提高你的市场价值吧。”凯茜说。哪怕你的公司只给你1000美元，你也可以去社区学校上一门课程。

《华尔街人士的生存之道》作者罗伊·科恩说：“一份不理想的工作也许是个必要的预留位置，当你花时间去上课或在网上找更加令人满意的新工作。”

的确，我能听到很多人的叹息声，我也知道有些人在网上找工作找了一年甚至更长时间，希望更换工作。没有人觉得在如此艰难的经济环境下，找到理想的工作很简单或者很快速。

如果你被现实卡住，找不到新工作的话，你现在的工作中有喜欢的某些特别任务吗？你的工作变更导致你现在一直做乏味的或者脱离你职业道路的工作吗？有没有可能和你的上司谈谈你的问题呢？

不过在去找你的经理之前，“想想你在公司的待遇是独特的还是和你的同事保持一致的。”科恩先生说。由于公司裁员，很多雇员都被迫做很多额外的工作。如果所有人都如此，你可能必须要接受这样的待遇了。

但是如果你被不公平地对待，被孤立出来，或者如果你真的不堪重负，想想有没有可能找你的主管谈一谈， 罗森博格说。

科恩先生指出，很多工作岗位都有一个问题，就是职员感到没有被足够欣赏，或者完全没有被欣赏。他补充说：“有一些企业里，你的上司只会把你和你同事当成一种资源来使用和剥削。不要期望或者寻找赏识，也不要期望你出色的工作被认可。在这种情况下，对雇员的赏识只是一种矛盾修饰法。”

所以说你能做什么呢？你只能放宽视野寻找工作之外积极的回馈，比如你的家人和朋友。科恩先生补充说，或许志愿服务或加入一些专业机构可以给你一些目标感，如果你在你的工作中找不到的话。

当我还在工作时，我的主管坚持认为——虽然我觉得很不公平——我产出的作品不够多，但我认为这对于我记录我所做的事情有所帮助。这不仅在我和上级谈判时有很大用处，而且帮助我重建了自我价值意识。

来自宾夕法尼亚州的拉索女士是一位药剂师，她尝试通过从另一个角度处理与同事之间的问题。

“我努力提醒自己并不是我的同事或者上司的问题。我们压力都很大。我们三个人每天要开300份处方。我努力不将问题针对我自己。”她说。

拉索女士有车贷和助学贷款，她说：“我宁愿有一份工作，也不想失业。”她说她决心留在她的岗位，直到一份新的工作出现。

拉索女士称她已经向她工作外的朋友抱怨很多了，这也许帮她减轻了工作中的痛苦。但那位专栏作家罗森博格警告大家不要向你的同事埋怨太多。

“人们常说同病相怜，但是你并不想在办公室定下不好的基调。”罗森博格说。其一，抱怨的情绪会有反作用力；其二，稍微抱怨一下能缓解情绪，但总是抱怨容易导致消极情绪。

古德温女士提醒大家要意识到进一步的自我破坏。马虎的表现 、和同事或经理激烈反驳、迟到——这些都是人们对工作不满意时的表现，而这些表现会让你丢掉饭碗。你最好找出你有多喜欢这份工作，或者至少找出你有多需要这份你曾经挤破头拿到的工作。

罗森博格说，当你不得不辞去你的工作，又没有找到另一份工作之前，当然会有一段时期，特别是这段间隔期会让你身心俱疲。

我的一个朋友，在这里应要求不公开他的名字的了，因为他仍在找工作，一年前他辞去了干了三个月半的工作。他说：“找工作的这段时间是持续不断的压力之源，我总是情绪不好，甚至在周末也是。”朋友是经历过很多年工作的专业人士，他说他知道在进入新的工作前几星期会有很多问题，但他决心坚持到底。

“但是当我去伦敦参加一个会议时，我得服用双倍的稳定血压的药物，还得带一个血压仪。生活中还是出现了一些麻烦。”他补充道。

他承认他原先以为可以更快地找到另一份工作，但现实并非如此。去年，他完成了咨询工作，甚至有时开加长豪华轿车。但是他从不后悔辞去那份工作。

“不确定性会让人不安，但也比清楚地知道那份工作的内容要强。”他说。

如果你在考虑辞去你现在的工作，罗森博格女士在她的网站上为你提供了一份小测验来帮你作出决定。

在我们这个文化背景下，辞去工作并不容易。常言道：“为了工作而生活，而不是为了生活而工作。”和我交谈过的人们所有人都认为我们可以改变视角。我们必须要每周工作60小时吗？你能减少你的工作时间去上舞蹈课或自传写作课吗？或者去看一场戏剧表演？

并且还要注意不要理想化其他的工作，这会成为另外一个职位更适合你的充分理由。

但是也要记得，你在现在的工作中不开心并不意味着下一个工作就是完美的。