Screwing up is part of life. Even great geniuses make mistakes. When you do screw up, however, what's important isn't the screwup (that's history) but what you do afterward. Here's a step-by-step approach:
生活中总有时候我们会把事情搞砸,即使是天才也会犯错误。但是重要的不是搞砸的事情(那已经是过去式了)而是之后你该如何做。下面是具体步骤:
1. Take a deep breath.
1. 深呼吸。
The moment you realize you've made a big mistake is usually not the best time to take action to correct it. Any action you take when you're in panic mode is likely to make the problem worse.
当你意识到自己犯错的时候绝不是改正错误的最佳时机。任何在焦虑情况下做的事通常只会让事情更糟。
For example, suppose you blurt out in a meeting with your boss and Customer A that your company gave Customer B a huge discount. You immediately realize that bringing up that discount means Customer A will probably demand a similar discount.
假设你不小心在老板和客户A的会议上说出你们公司给客户B很大的折扣,你马上意识到提到折扣会让客户A也提出相同要求。
Trying to recover on the spot is a bad idea. If you tell the customer, "Of course, big discounts aren't our usual policy," you'll only call more attention to the discount. Same thing if you apologize to your boss the moment the two of you leave the meeting.
试图马上弥补绝不是个好主意。如果你告诉客户A:“当然我们一般不会提供较大的折扣。”只会将大家的注意力再次转移到折扣上来。会议结束后马上向老板道歉也是一样的。
So take a deep breath, shake yourself out, maybe go for a short walk. Get a little distance from the situation before you react.
所以深呼吸,清醒一下,出去散个步。在你做出反应之前离开一段时间。
2. Take a dose of perspective.
2. 长远地看待问题
Although your blunder may seem monumental to you, it may be far less significant to the other people involved.
也许你犯的错误对你自己很重要,但对其他相关的人来说就没那么重要了。
If your mistake is uncharacteristic, chances are that people who already know you will simply put it down to your having a bad day. That doesn't mean you don't need to make amends, but the situation may be less dire than you assume.
如果你的错误不典型,很可能了解你的人知道之后不会再提起这件事,毕竟你这一天都不太好过。但这不意味着你不需要弥补,只是结果可能没你想得那么糟。
3. Do a reality check.
3. 检验实际影响。
Now that you've gotten some distance and perspective, revisit your blunder with the other people who witnessed it. Find out how much damage has been done by putting your inquiry in the form of a question, like:
冷静下来仔细思考后,你需要回访一下看见你犯错的人。问一些问题,找出自己的错误到底造成了多大伤害,比如:
"John, when I reacted negatively to your idea earlier today, I think I might have been overly harsh. I want to make certain you know that I'm not trying to be a pill and that my heart is in the right place."
“约翰,今天我对你的想法反应很消极,也许我过分了一点。我想确定你了解我不是要反对,而且我是出于好心。”
Reality checks are best delivered via email rather than in person, because email gives everyone the opportunity to cool down.
回访最好通过邮件而不是面对面进行,因为邮件给了每个人冷静的机会。
4. Apologize and address the blowback.
4. 道歉并处理后续问题。
The response that you get from your reality check in the previous step lets you gauge what you'll need to do to get beyond the mistake. For example, if the response is something like "You screwed up badly, you jerk," some groveling may be in order.
根据从他人那得到的反馈,你就可以知道自己应该如何做才能弥补。如果你得到的回应是“你搞砸了,混蛋”,也许你就该低头认错了。
On the other hand, if the response is more like "Yeah, I was offended/angry/surprised, but it's no big deal," your apology can be more perfunctory:
但是如果回应是“对啊,当时我感觉被冒犯了/很生气/很吃惊,但是没什么大不了的,”你的道歉就可以相对草率一点:
"John, I'm really sorry that I overreacted and would like to meet with you to apologize in person and make a commitment to never allow myself to act that way in the future."
“约翰,我非常抱歉自己反应过度了,我想当面和你道个歉并保证自己再不会这样了。”
Shortcut: When you've screwed up
速成方法:当你搞砸了
• DON'T try to fix things immediately; take some time to think.
• 不要马上弥补;先思考。
• REMEMBER that eventually nobody will care what happened.
• 记住最后可能没人关心发生了什么。
• FIND out how seriously you screwed up.
• 找出你犯的错到底有多严重。
• MAKE apologies but focus on fixing the results.
• 道歉但是着重弥补结果。
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