骗自己！我们最爱跟自己说的10句谎

1. “I’m going to wake up early and get a head start on my day.”

“我明天打算早起。让一天有个好的开始。”

What You Mean: I will incorporate the sound of my alarm clock into my dreams and hit snooze 30 times before being late for work.

你的意思是：我会把闹钟的声音融合到我的梦中，被闹醒后再贪睡大概30次，直到起晚了上班迟到。

2. “I’m definitely going to the gym after work.”

“我下班后一定要去健身。”

What You Mean: OMG, literally 50 unexpected errands just came up that are all non-urgent but I absolutely should do immediately. Too bad about the gym, huh.

你的意思是：哦天呐，多出了50件必须做的事！虽然都不紧急，但我还是应该立刻处理。真糟糕没时间去健身了。

3. “I’m going to start writing down all my expenses and spending less money.”

“我会把所有的开销都记下来，节省开支。”

What You Mean: I’m going to keep track of the money I spend on rent and toilet paper and conveniently forget my reckless, expanding party budget.

你的意思是：我会把房租和买卫生纸用的钱记下来，然后轻易地忘记我在派对上挥霍的钱。

4. “Of course I’m TOTALLY over him!”

“当然，我已经完全忘记他了！”

What You Mean: If you were to wander into my bedroom at 4 a.m., you would find me on his Facebook profile…in a photo album from December 2009.

你的意思是：如果你正好凌晨4点来卧室拜访我，你会发现我在看他的脸书网个人资料……在看他2009年12月起建立的相册。

5. “OK, but this time I’m serious. I’m NEVER texting her/him again.”

“好吧，不过这一次我是认真的。我绝不会再发短信给他了。”

What You Mean: I will most certainly, definitely, assuredly text her/him again. Then I will delete the evidence. TOO BAD YOU CAN’T DELETE SHAME AND REGRET.

你的意思是：我确定一定以及肯定会发短信给他。并且我会删除发件箱里的记录。真可惜我不能把自己的羞愧和懊悔一起删除掉。

6.“OK, but seriously, it’s time to catch up on the classics. Jane Austen, here I come!”

“好吧，不过说真的，是时候读点经典文学了。简·奥斯丁，我来啦！”

What You Mean: Just realized I could sound just as smart by just watching the movies. Colin Firth, here I come!

你的意思是：我刚意识到我看原著改编的电影照样可以附庸文雅。科林·弗思，我来啦！

7. “I’m going to clean my apartment right after work today, it’s getting kinda gross.”

“我今天下班一回到家就开始打扫，我的公寓脏的有点恶心了。”

What You Mean: I’m going to push a couple of hairballs around and take out that pizza box… Then I’m going to get distracted by literally anything.

你的意思是：我会把几个头发线球摆弄一下，拿走匹萨盒子……然后我会因为各种事情分心忘记打扫的计划。

8. “I’m going to take fewer naps and do more work.”

“我要少睡觉，多做事。”

What You Mean: Zzzzzzzzz.

你的意思是：呼噜呼噜呼噜睡一觉。

9. “Just one more episode.”

“就再多看一集。”

What You Mean: At some point in the next seven hours, I will fall asleep with my laptop on my face, and I will hate myself in the morning.

在接下来的7小时中的某个时刻，我会面朝笔记本睡着，第二天早晨我会后悔不迭。

10. “I’m going to master a foreign language.”

“我要掌握一门外语。”

What You Mean: I’m going to learn how to curse and order food in a foreign language.

你的意思是：我要学习怎么用外语骂人和点餐。