不要说话:你应该保持沉默的十大场合

Ever feel like you’ve gone and said too much? Again? Maybe you kill a joke or ruin a great moment. Foot in ze ol’ mouth.

是不是觉得自己又说太多了？也许你不经意就会毁了一个笑话，或是完全破坏了气氛。要记住祸从口出呐。

Well listen up. And shut up. Not many people know it but shutting up can be the trump card in a lot of situations.

我们应该多听，不该说话的时候学会闭嘴。不是每个人都知晓这一点，但沉默在很多场合下的确是最好的王牌。

Shutting up helps you appear wise and avoid conflict. In general, it can make life easier which it turn makes you a happier person. Here’s how and when to just shut up.

沉默会让你更加智慧，避免纷争。总而言之，它能让生活更加简单，让你成为更快乐的人。下面将告诉你在什么时候应该学会沉默。

1) When people are gossiping

1. 大家在八卦时

People love gossiping and many of us can’t help it. It’s refreshing. It makes life seem a bit better. But the next time you hear gossiping, especially about your friends, try holding your tongue. Listen to what the gossiper is saying, it may reveal a lot about both parties. Instead of being like “yeahh, she is a b*$$#,” try saying “well, she’s trying her hardest” and see what the response is. Deny yourself that tiny pleasure from putting someone else down.

人们都爱八卦，这是大家没法控制的事情。八卦能让人精神振奋，似乎生活也变得更好了。但如果你听到了一些八卦，尤其是关于你朋友的，还是闭上嘴吧。听听那些聊八卦的人在说什么，也许能让你更加了解自己的朋友。与其说：“是啊，她真的很贱。” 不如说：“我知道她已经很努力了”，看看别人的反应。别让自己的小快乐建立在贬低别人的基础上。

2) When asked about your love life

2. 被问到感情生活时

How was last night? Did it go well wink wink? We’ve all heard these prying questions from roommates and friends and it’s fun boasting our conquests (especially when they’re few and far between). But you’re better off remaining mysterious. Keeping quiet about your hookups will make your admirers respect, and seek you out, even more. Only talk love life if you really need advice.

昨晚怎么样？约会进展如何？我们的室友和朋友们往往会问出这样窥探类的问题，炫耀自己的战利品的确很有意思（尤其是TA们的确很出色的话），但你最好还是保持点神秘感。对自己的约会守口如瓶还能让你的追求者们更加尊重欣赏你。等到实在需要建议时再谈论自己的感情生活吧。

3) After an obviously erroneous statement

3. 在别人发表明显错误的言论后

We all get called out from time to time at the office and in social settings. But sometimes letting someone’s accusation linger in the air exposes its flaws. Sure you’ve got to defend yourself sometimes, but if someone takes a really stupid jab at you, and others notice, you might look stronger just saying nothing and chuckling instead. Let that person roast in their own stupidity.

我们时不时会被叫去办公室（类似这样的公开环境里）谈话。有时任别人对你公开的指责往往能暴露他的缺陷。你当然可以辩解，但如果某人对你进行愚蠢的攻击，其他人也注意到了，你倒不如保持沉默轻声的笑一笑，这样会让你看起来更加强大。就让那个人充分展现自己愚蠢的一面吧！

4) At the near-end of a joke

4. 笑话的尾声

No one likes the guy who kills a joke. Instead of asking, “wait what was that?” just play along with jokes and funny stories, even those you don’t fully understand, adding new information instead of beating the heck out of them. You’ll be more popular starting a joke than finishing it.

没有人喜欢破坏笑话的人。与其问“等等，你刚才说了什么？” 不如假装一直很享受这些笑话和故事，哪怕你根本没听懂，加点新信息进去，而不是彻底毁了这些笑话，这样的幽默能让你更加受欢迎哦。

5) When you’re the expert

5. 你是专家时

Experts are reserved. They wisely interject their knowledge into a discussion. So when your friend or colleague sets you up saying “hey, he knows all about this” at dinner don’t feel like you have to pour out all your knowledge. No need to prove yourself. Instead, be reserved, say thanks, and give a concise, even self-deprecating summary of what you do. Try to act like you get congratulated all the time.

真人不露相。他们总是巧妙的把自己的知识插入讨论之中。所以如果饭局上你的朋友或同事把你推出来说“嗨，他是这方面的专家，” 千万别觉得你得把肚子里的知识全部倒出来。真的没必要证实自己。不如隐藏一下，说句谢谢，对自己干的事情做一个简洁谦逊的总结。要表现的自己像一直需要被鼓励的人那样。

6) When under fire

6. 矛盾激化时

Getting in trouble is a part of life and sometimes the person in power just needs to run through everything they’re upset about. Bosses yell, referees yells, our spouses yell. It does not always help to talk back. On the other hand, be silent and take the blows, then find a good time to say a concise sorry. Even if you’re not in the wrong. This will get you out of jail and on with your life a whole lot quicker.

人生总是难免遇到麻烦。有权利的人往往需要对所有让他们失望的事发泄一下。老板在咆哮，裁判在咆哮，我们的另一半也在咆哮。其实并不需要去回应他们。不如保持沉默，一一承受，再找个合适的时机简单说一句对不起,哪怕你没有做错。你就会脱离苦海，生活进展更快。

7) When talking about money

7. 谈到钱的问题

Don’t mention your salary when others are bragging and don’t whine about being owed money. Lend to your friends, it’ll come back around. An aura of quiet confidence around money issues will help you someday find riches.

在别人吹牛时，别也跟着提及自己的薪水问题，更不要对借出去的钱发牢骚。借给你的朋友，他们总会还的。在钱的问题上保持沉默，这样的自信总会有天让你发现其价值所在。

8) In line at an event

8. 排队等候时

This one is specific, but I’ve noticed that those who wait patiently to get into a club or concert often get through faster than the loud mouths begging for entrance. Being loud and belligerent gets you nowhere and a quiet confidence makes it look like you belong.

这条比较特别，但我发现那些静静等候俱乐部或音乐会入场的人往往比那些吵吵闹闹的人们进去的要快。吵吵闹闹只会让你找不到方向，安静一点才让你看起来真正属于这里。

9) When congratulated

9. 被祝贺时

A smooth and confident “thank you” is the best response to a congratulations. It’s true. Just saying thank you is enough. Don’t say “oh, well it was all him” or “yeah, I don’t know how I did it” or something equally blasé. Just be the man, say thank you, and go dominate your next conquest.

对于祝贺最好的回答莫过于一句“谢谢”。的确是这样，说谢谢就够了。不要说“这都是他的功劳” 或是“啊，我都不知道自己怎么做到的”，或是其他类似的话语。就绅士点，说句谢谢吧，然后向着自己下个目标进军。

10) When some is divulging secrets

10. 某人对你吐露秘密时

If you find yourself in a rare moment when someone in power or with useful information has decided to pour it out for you, please just listen. You’ll learn a lot. Understand how valuable the information is and store it away for use later on. A smile is all the response you need to give.

如果你发现自己身处一个特殊的场合，某个有权利的人或掌握有用消息的人突然对你倾诉，那就好好倾听吧。你会学到很多东西。了解这些信息到底有多重要，然后自己消化以备以后的需要。这种情况下你只需要回馈一个笑容。

Shutting up is an art form. Spot these moments in advance and trust me, you’ll reap the silent benefits.

学会沉默是一门艺术。提前知晓这些该沉默的场合，相信我，你会从中受益良多。