6 Stop caring about what everyone else has.
比上不足比下有余
When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop! Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess. Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.
当你发现自己开始跟同事,邻居,朋友或者一些名人比较的时候,赶快停下来!你要认识到自己的与众不同,你也拥有那些人没有的长处。花点时间思考你有哪些特长,并且对生活中所有的美好报以一颗感恩的心。
The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life — a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you might have a new destination in mind.
我们之中大多数人的问题在于,总会觉得混到一定的地位(觊觎许久的,他人所在的地位),我们才会过得开心,比如老板那样拥有一间转角办公室,又比如像朋友的朋友那样拥有一套海景别墅。不幸的是,你需要一段时间的努力才能达到他们的境界,而在你达到后,你可能又会野心勃勃地向往新的目标。
Appreciate where you are and what you have right now. Try comparing yourself to those who have less, those who are dealing with tragedy, and those who are struggling to survive.
珍惜你现在的位置和你已经拥有的一切吧。比上不足比下有余,和那些正承受着悲剧的人,那些为了生存苦苦挣扎的人比一比吧。
7 Stop caring about the imaginary state of perfect.
不做完美主义者
Many of us are perfectionists in our own right. We set high bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward. We dedicate copious amounts of time and attention to our work to maintain our high personal standards. Our passion for excellence drives us to run the extra mile, never stopping, never relenting. And this dedication towards perfection undoubtedly helps us to achieve results… So long as we don’t get carried away.
很多人都有实力做完美主义者。我们为自己设立很高的标准,并全力以赴地去达成。我们在工作上花费很多时间和精力,以维持自己的高标准。追求卓越的热情,驱使我们格外地努力,从不休息也不减速。毫无疑问,为了达到完美而做出的奉献,帮助我们取得成就…只要我们不失去理智。
But what happens when we do get carried away with perfectionism?We become disgruntled and discouraged when we fail to meet the (impossibly high) standards we set for ourselves, making us reluctant to take on new challenges or even finish tasks we’ve already started. Our insistence on dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’ breeds inefficiency, causing major delays, stress overload and subpar results.
但是如果我们真的为了完美主义,走火入魔了,会发生什么呢?一旦没有达到自己设立的标准(高得离奇),我们就会不满和气馁,从而不愿意接受新的挑战,甚至半途而废已经着手在做的任务。坚持对细节一丝不苟的专注(dotting every ‘I’ and crossing every ‘T’),造成了低效率、大延期、超负荷以及烂结果。
Remember, the real world doesn’t reward perfectionists. It rewards people who get things done. So make a decision. Take action. Learn from the outcome. And repeat this method over and over and over again.
要记住,真实的世界是不会给予完美主义者奖赏的。处理完事务的人才能得到回报。所以,在做出决定后马上行动,从结果中汲取经验和方法,然后重复运用这个方法。
8 Stop caring about being right all the time.
不把自己的价值观强加于他人
There are few absolute ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ in the world. What’s right for you may be wrong for me, and vise versa. People need to live their lives their way – the way that’s right for them.
世上鲜有绝对的“是”与“非”。对你来说是对的,对我来说可能是错的,反之亦然。人们需要用自己的方式生活——适合他们的方式。
When it comes to life choices and opinions, not much is worth fighting about. Step back from arguments with your spouse, family members or neighbors. When you feel anger surging up and you want to yell that vulgar remark on tip of your tongue, just close your mouth and walk away. Let mind calm down. You don’t have to be right or win an argument.
当谈论到生活中的选择和观念,不值得因分歧而争吵。放下与配偶、家人和邻居的争辩吧。当你感觉怒火中烧,很想骂脏话的时候,什么也别说,马上离开,让心情平静下来。
Open your mind to new ideas and opinions. Don’t just concentrate on what others are doing, spend time figuring out why they are doing what they’re doing.
敞开心扉接受新的想法和观点。别专注于别人在做什么,花点时间搞清楚为什么他们要这样做。
9 Stop caring about mistakes.
不惧怕犯错
Mistakes teach you important lessons. Don’t hesitate – don’t doubt yourself. You’ll never be 100% sure a thing will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it!And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. If you never act, you will be left standing in the same spot forever.
错误教人成长。别犹豫——别怀疑你自己。在生活中,你永远不能100%地确信,你会做成一件事,但你可以100%地确信,如果不做就肯定没有结果。大多数时候,你不得去争取。无论结果如何,事情总会以它应有的方式结束:要么成功,要么得到教训。如果从不行动,你将永远在原地踏步。
10 Stop caring about things you can’t control.
转变态度,挖掘潜能
Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation.The smartest thing you can do to compensate for the things you can’t control is adjusting your attitude. Your attitude has a profound effect on your overall potential. Consuming yourself with the negative aspects of a circumstance gets nothing productive accomplished. But if you instead look at the circumstance positively, coming from the standpoint of “What’s my next best move?” you put yourself back in the driver’s seat.
把时间、才能和感情浪费在你控制不了的事情上,会导致挫折、痛苦和停滞的状态。想要弥补你无能为力的事,最明智的举动是改变态度。你的态度可以帮你发挥全身上下所有潜能。把注意力集中在处境的负面,对于取得成功而言没有益处。但如果你积极看待处境,站在这样的立场想问题:“下一步我该如何更好地做选择?”,那么你就重新掌握主动权了。
Bottom line: As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right. The opposite is also true. The choice is yours to make.
总之:就像玛莉亚罗宾逊说过的那样,“没有人能回到过去重新开始,但是任何人都可以从今天起步,并迎来一个新的结局。”你无法改变既定的事实,但是你可以转换你对这件事的反应。每天早晨当你醒来时,如果你脑中的想法是“唔,今天会发生一些好事”,并且做个生活的有心人,你通常会发现你是对的。反之亦然。决定权在你自己手中。
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