调查：离婚后男人比女人更痛苦

A recent survey highlighted the fact that women tend to fare much better than men after divorce.

The survey revealed that men suffer far more in emotional terms than women — and are much more likely to let themselves go and not eat properly.

In the year after divorce, 48 percent of men describe themselves as feeling ‘very lonely’, compared with just 35 percent of women.

Men often bear the financial brunt of divorce, too, finding themselves supporting the family they have left behind and somehow having to finance a new roof over their own head, too. If they meet someone new, they are then faced with the prospect of supporting their new partner and any additional children.

Women, the survey stated, find it much easier to ‘move on’ and leave the past behind, and have a far wider emotional support network of friends.

As a result, it is perhaps no surprise that more women than ever are initiating divorce. The latest UK figures for 2009 show that 68 percent of the 113,949 divorce proceedings that year were started by women.

More long-term marriages are ending, too — divorce initiated by women in the age 45-plus bracket rose by an astonishing 30 percent in the ten years between 1997 and 2007.

Leading divorce lawyer, Adam Witkover, of Bross Bennett Solicitors in London, says many women feel the rush of excitement after leaving their husbands.

He says: ‘In my experience, women seem to cope much better emotionally with divorce. They have a wider network of friends, find it much easier to talk about their emotions than men, and although they are not always better off financially, they often use divorce as the springboard to a new career.

‘Men, on the other hand, find it much harder to express how they feel, and are often much more bitter about the split than women. They seem to find it harder to let go of the past.’

Men also tend to struggle with the domestic side of living on their own — doing their own washing, shopping and cooking — whereas for women, that is a breeze.

If there are children involved, women tend to be awarded the family home, so their general lifestyle is not dramatically affected. Men, on the other hand, often struggle with the turn their lives have taken, especially if they find themselves moving into a small flat or even back in with their parents.

近日的一项调查突显了一个事实，就是离婚后女人通常比男人好过得多。

调查揭示，男性在情感上比女性遭受的痛苦要大得多，而且男性更可能自暴自弃和胡乱进食。

在离婚后的日子里，48%的男性称自己感到“十分孤独”，相比之下，只有35%的女性是这样。

男性通常还要遭受离婚带来的经济冲击，他们不但要支撑之前的家庭，还要承担自己新立门户的开支。如果他们找到了新欢，他们可能还要抚养新伴侣和她带来的小孩。

调查称，离婚后女性“继续前进”、忘掉过去比男性容易得多，而且女性所拥有的能提供情感支持的朋友圈也比男性大得多。

所以，如今提出离婚的女性比以往任何时候都多大概也就不足为奇了。2009年英国最新数据显示，2009年的113949起离婚诉讼中，有68%是女性提出的。

此外，更多的长久婚姻正走向尽头——45岁以上女性提出的离婚在1997年到2007年这十年间增加了30%，这很惊人。

伦敦布罗斯•贝奈特律师事务所的资深离婚律师亚当•维特考佛说，许多女性在离开丈夫后感受到了涌动的激情。

他说：“根据我的经验，女人们似乎能更好地接受和应对离婚。她们的朋友圈子更大，因此要倾诉心情也比男性容易得多。另外，尽管女性的经济状况并不一定会因离婚而变好，但她们常常借助离婚这一跳板来开启新的职业道路。”

“另一方面，男人要表达情绪则比女人难得多，而且离婚对于男人通常也更痛苦。要他们忘掉过去似乎更难。”

此外，男人独自生活还要艰难应对家务事——自己洗衣、购物和做饭，而这对于女人来说，就是小菜一碟。

如果离婚时双方已有子女，一般会把房子判给女性，这样女性的生活方式总体上不会受到太大影响。而男性则通常必须艰难地应对生活的剧变，特别是搬进小公寓甚至搬回去和父母同住的男性。