如何拥有持续长久的恋爱关系

1) Fight with an end goal

1）与终极目标作斗争

You know that you’re going to fight with your boyfriend. That’s just the way that it goes. It’s not possible to be happy with anyone 24/7. It doesn’t mean that you’re not truly in love or that your relationship needs to end. All it means is that you’re both normal human beings and you’re part of a normal couple.

你知道你会和你的男友打架。这就是关系发展的方式。与一个人每周7天，每天24小时都开心在一起，是不可能的。这并不意味着你不是真正爱对方，或者你们的关系需要终结。这只是说你们都是正常的人类，你也是正常情侣中的一部分。

But if you want your relationship to last (which you probably do since you’re still in it), then you need to fight with an end goal. That means talking to your boyfriend about issues and problems that come up but keeping a solution in mind.

但是如果你想要你的关系能持续（因为你还在恋爱，你很可能想要持续发展你们的关系），呢么你需要与你的终极目标作斗争。这意味着你需要和你的男友谈论出现的问题，但是也要想好解决办法。

If you’re upset that he’s not spending enough time with you, or that you don’t seem to be on the same page when it comes to your future or how much you’re each committing, you need to have a serious conversation.

如果你因为他没有足够的时间与你在一起，或者当你们在谈论到将来以及负责多少的时候，你们没有达成共识，而感到失望，你需要和他严肃地谈话一次。

But make sure that you get what you want from the talk. If you don’t, you have to keep chatting until you figure it out, or you might realize that you two just aren’t as well matched as you thought.

但是要确保得到你想要从谈话中所获得的结果。如果你没有的话，你们需要一直交谈，直到解决为止，或许你会发现正如你所想的一样，并不太合适在一起。

2) Have realistic expectations

2）拥有现实的期望

Expectations can kill even the best relationships. Think of it this way: if you think your boyfriend is going to surprise you with flowers and a fancy dinner on your one-year anniversary but he does absolutely nothing, how do you feel? Pretty awful, right? You’re definitely pissed because you had an expectation that wasn’t met.

期望能够终结甚至是最好的关系。这样考虑一下：如果你认为你的男友会在你们每年一度的纪念日的时候，给你鲜花和美妙晚餐的惊喜，但是他却什么都没做，你感觉如何呢？非常糟糕，是不是？你肯定会非常生气，因为你有未实现的预期。

If you can have more realistic expectations, then your relationship has a much better shot of working out. That’s because unfortunately, as much as you wish you could make your boyfriend act the way that you want him, that’s just not the case. Funny how that works, right?

如果你有更现实的期望，那么你的关系会有更好的进展。这是因为，不幸的是，你对你的男朋友的所作所为期望太多，但是事情往往不是如此。这种结果很滑稽，是不是？