Punching bag?

Reader question:

What does “punching bag” mean? As in: He doesn’t want to be her punching bag.

My comments:

He doesn’t want to be the target for criticism. In other words, he doesn’t want her to blame him every time something goes wrong.

Punching bag is a stuffed bag people hit for fun and exercise. Boxers, for example, improve their muscle strength by hitting the punching bag hard, and repeatedly.

Figuratively speaking, if someone is another’s punching bag, he’s constantly faulted, blamed, criticized if anything goes wrong.

If you want to use this term, make sure you use it under the right circumstances. It’s best used, that is, when the attack (verbally) is constant, whether or not the attacked is guilty of the “crimes” they’re accused of committing.

And that’s the thing with people being another’s punching bag – they’re attacked even if they’re not responsible for the wrongdoing. The attacker may just be venting and doing it out of habit. They just want to take their anger, anxiety, frustration or what have you out on someone.

And that someone is their “punching bag”.

For instance, I’ve heard of a young man describing her girlfriend thus:

“She blames me for everything. Once she lost her purse on the bus and I was with her, so she blamed me for not taking care of her. Two days ago she lost another purse on the bus and that time I wasn’t with her, so she blames me again, this time for not taking care of her because I wasn’t around when she needed me.”

There you go.

Ah well, here are media examples:

1. Hollywood personality Katie Price aka Jordan had boasted that Peter Andre was her “punching bag” hours before the end of their marriage.

The former duo was busy arguing with each other at rehearsals for the British Soap Awards, but they acted perfectly when on camera.

“They were bickering over who would read what, it was really uncomfortable - although when the cameras turned on them later, they were perfect together,” the Sun quoted Jordan as saying.

However, after the rehearsals Jordan joked that they tended to have arguments very often, and that she thought Peter was her punching bag.

“We have the odd argument,” Jordan said.

Peter replied: “We don’t realize how much we argue until we watch it back - then we argue about the argument.”

Jordan hit back: “We don’t argue, we bicker, but because we’re together all the time he’s my punch bag!”

- Jordan boasted Peter was her punching bag, Blog.taragana.com, May 13, 2009.

2. “Cowardly?”

“Betrayal?”

“Former hero?”

“Narcissistic?”

Some strong words from Gilbert to describe LeBron in what obviously was an emotional reaction to the bad news for Cleveland. Fightin’ words, even. And while that’s certainly an OK and understandable reaction from fans in a sports city that just took another kick to the groin, it’s unprofessional and unworthy coming from a team owner.

Oh, and that’s not the worst part. It’s quite possible Gilbert issued a veiled threat, telling fans “there is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past.” Is Gilbert planning to get even more personal and perhaps spill some company secrets, all designed to embarrass LeBron? Oh, boy. Have you ever heard an owner react this way to a player? The answer is never. Some owners in the past expressed anger and disappointment at players who broke the law or did something heinous that embarrassed the franchise. But what did LeBron do? Leave?

We might be talking about a record fine here. Not anything approaching the hit that Gilbert just absorbed, in terms of franchise value ($100 million?), now that LeBron’s walking. But steep enough.

Sure, LeBron has made some PR mistakes in the last year leading up to free agency. Nothing horrible. Nothing that should’ve made him a media punching bag, which has been the case lately (what felony did he commit, exactly?). But a few. Yes, indeed. He didn’t call Gilbert before making the announcement. Gilbert was owed that much. He turned a recruiting session into a public spectacle and then to ridiculous heights with a one-hour televised special, which screamed ego. Agreed.

But didn’t he just give seven years to the Cavaliers? Two MVP years? Didn’t he make Gilbert, already a rich man, even richer? Didn’t he put Cleveland on the NBA map, when before he arrived, the team was a speck? Again, the fan reaction was understood and perhaps valid to a degree. But from an owner? Just because LeBron chose a change in scenery?

- Disappointed Cavs owner hits LeBron with verbal rampage, NBA.com, July 9, 2010.