恋爱状态与婚姻状态有关吗?

Scientists confirm what may seem obvious to some: what satisfies us in dating, does not predict how happy we'll be in marriage.

Many of us learn, most likely the hard way, that what brings happiness during dating is quite different from what satisfies us “until death do us part”。 The critical difference is how your perception of commitment changes once you are married.

This comes from a survey of 92 dating couples and 77 married couples, to be published this summer in the journal, Psychological Science.

For both types of couples, the primary predictor of happiness is your perception of whether your partner motivates you to live up to your aspirations and supports you in pursuit of your dreams.

But in marriage there is one additional type of support that does not appear to be a big deal in dating. In marriage, not surprisingly, there is a strong need to think your partner is actively helping you fulfill your current responsibilities and obligations.

The significant finding, the researchers say, is that we often believe that if our dating partner gives us support to follow our dreams, they'll probably support other parts of our life, namely our immediate responsibilities. But the ability to inspire a partner is not an accurate predictor of support for the more mundane and immediate obligations. And this can sometimes lead to a rude awakening when the church bells ring.

So it's true. For both men and women, a little help hauling out the garbage goes a long way towards marital bliss.

为什么谈恋爱不能预测婚姻的成功?

科学家们确认了对一些人来说是显而易见的事情：谈恋爱满意并不能预测我们未来的婚姻会如何幸福。

许多人知道——大多数都可能是尝过苦头之后——谈恋爱能带来幸福的东西与“至死不渝的婚姻”是两码事情。最关键的区别是一旦你结婚后，你对承诺的感受的改变。

经过调查了92对谈恋爱的伴侣和77对结了婚的伴侣后，研究者得出来这一结论。该研究结果将要在今年夏天的《心理学科学》(Psychological Science)杂志上发表。

对与这两类伴侣而言，对幸福的主要预测在于你是否感受到你的伴侣鼓励你实现抱负以及支持你追求梦想。

但是在婚姻中，还有另外一种形式的支持，而这种支持在谈情说爱的时候看似无关紧要。在婚姻中，存在一种强烈的需求，那就是你要认为你的伴侣在主动帮助你实现你目前的责任和义务，而这一点显得毫不奇怪。

研究者们说，重要的发现在于，我们经常相信如果我们谈恋爱的伴侣支持我们追求梦想，那么他们也可能会在生活的其它方面给予支持，也就是我们当前的责任。但是能激发伴侣实现梦想并不能准确地预测，我们的伴侣会在一些更世俗的和眼前的义务方面给予支持。而这有可能在清晨教堂的钟声响起时，让伴侣对此猛然觉醒。