全程班考研英语的作文批改范例三

　　It wont be dark and hopeless until the light of love begin （主谓一致，begins）to burn which appears more significant in darker place. （这个定语从句用在这里不太合适，可以改成一个句子，love is like light which is brighter in darker places.）I consider it may be （这部分删掉）what the picture want（注意主谓一致，wants） to tell us. 　　During the gray period when all the people on the earth suffered SARS,scientists and doctors devote （既然是在说以前的事情就用过去时）themslves and their love to curing the patients , securing the health （The healthy people） and arming against the evil （plague）.Theyre exactly respectable.After the earthquake came to attack （直接用attacked） Sichuan Province,all the people there were in the darkness which is painful and awful （这里的定语从句用的不好，可以删掉。）.Love from other places in China and from other nations of the world arrived. The people suffered the agony（删掉，这是多余的部分，直接用suffer from.） from the catastrophe were inspired. Its love as a light who （变成强调句型，这里改成that beats .）beat the darkness. 　　When the scientists and the doctors tribute （contributed）their help,love appears;when the kindness denote their money and commodities,love appears;when we make a contribution to give others a hand,love appears.（这一段可以看成是对上一段的一个总结，用的还是上面的例子，所以还是用过去式较好。） 　　作文的主题能够理解，但是作文的三点要求并没有全部表现出来，第三部分陈述自己的观点，在你的文章中并没有体现。导致内容不完整。另外语言方面的问题也较多，一个是主谓一致问题较多，再就是有些句子表达不明确，导致老师不能正确理解你的意思。注意由于马虎造成的拼写错误。注意用词方面的准确性。注意标点符号的正确使用。注意空格问题。这些都能反应出你的英语基本功并不扎实，所以今后复习的时候一定要继续巩固基本功，背诵范文之后一定要默写，从中检查自己的写作弱点。多读读英语文章，提高语感。加油啊。