“非常爱你的”上司

I’ve just received an email from my manager vaguely reprimanding me about something pretty trivial. The odd thing wasn’t the message itself but the way he finished it, signing off with “Lots of love. Perhaps this was his way of trying to soften the message, but it has left me with two creeping doubts. Is it ever OK for a line manager to sign off messages to staff in this way? And if he insists on ending his emails like that, how am I meant to reply? I can’t bring myself to write “Lots of love back, but to write “Best looks a bit chilly.

我刚刚收到了经理的一封电子邮件，他为了微不足道的事含糊其词地训斥了我一顿。邮件内容本身并不怪异，诡异的是他的落款“非常爱你的(Lots of love)。可能他想通过这种方式淡化批评的语气，但却让我感到令人毛骨悚然，并且产生了两点疑惑。上司给下属发电子邮件如此落款是否合适？如果他一定要这么落款，我回信时又该如何落款？我没法在回信中也写“非常爱你的，只写“祝好(Best)又显得冷冰冰。

Media researcher, female, 33

媒体研究人员，女，33岁

Lucy’s answer

露西的回答

The problem with “best is not that it looks chilly. It’s that it makes no sense. Best what? Best of luck? Best wishes? Best buy? Best man?

“祝好的问题不在于看起来冷冰冰，而在于毫无意义。最好的什么？最好的运气？最好的祝福？最好的买卖？最好的男人？

Nor must you consider writing “Lots of love. To slavishly mirror the sign-off of the boss achieves one thing only: it makes you look weak.

你也不必考虑要不要写“非常爱你的。依葫芦画瓢只能起到一个效果：让你看起来很软弱。

Instead, what you must do is perfectly easy – not sign off at all. This is always the best, quickest and safest way of ending emails to colleagues. If you insist, you can write your name at the bottom, but as everyone can see that it is from you, such elucidation isn’t strictly necessary.

相反，你该做的事很简单——根本不用落款。这是给同事写电子邮件时最合适、最快捷和最安全的结尾。如果你坚持要落款，可以在末尾写上自己的名字；但既然大家都知道发信人是你，以姓名落款的意义也不太大。

As for whether it is ever acceptable for a boss to sign himself off with “Lots of love, the answer is that it might be. Email is a strange form – even though we all spend our lives sending and receiving emails, there is still no agreement on the rules of how to start or end them and all sorts of things are permissible, depending on the circumstances.

至于上司本人用“非常爱你的落款是否合适，答案是这或许是合适的。电子邮件是一种奇怪的通信方式，尽管我们在生活中都要收发电子邮件，但关于电子邮件应该如何开头、结尾怎么写，我们并没有达成共识，所以，各种写法都是可以接受的，这要看实际情况而定。

If your boss signs himself off “lots of love there are two possibilities. The first is that he was too quick to press send, and made a mistake. I’ve just sent a message to a reader who had taken issue with something I’d written and I carelessly signed it with three kisses. Fortunately, he ignored it: his subsequent reply ended with a more fitting “best wishes.

如果你的老板落款时用“非常爱你的,这里面存在着两种可能性。第一种是，他在匆忙中按下“发送键，犯了一个错误。有位读者写信对我的文章提出了意见，我刚给他回信时一不小心用了三个“吻你作为落款。好在他没当回事，他在回信中的落款是得体的“衷心的祝福(best wishes)。

More likely, though, your boss’s sign-off shows that he is trying to create an informal, we’re-all-great-chums culture. This approach doesn’t begin to work for me, but is perfectly fine if you like that sort of thing.

不过，更有可能的情况是，你老板的落款表明，他想要营造一种不那么正式、大家都是好朋友的氛围。我对这个不感冒，但如果你喜欢这种方式，那就挺好的。

However, I fear you may have a bigger problem than how to sign off your reply. In particular, I fear it may cause offence long before the end of it. You say your boss was reprimanding you over something “pretty trivial, but in my experience minor transgressions tend not to attract reprimanding emails at all. Most people don’t like telling others off, and your boss – who wants to be seen as a lovable kinda guy – may like it less than most.

但是，我担心你还有一个比不知回信如何落款更严重的问题。尤其是，我担心这个问题在得到解决之前，你可能会得罪人。你提到，你老板在某件“微不足道的事情上批评了你；但以我的经验来看，如果你只是犯了个小错误，对方不至于特意发邮件来责备你。大多数人都不喜欢斥责别人，你老板——他想被大家视为一个和蔼可亲的人——很可能比大多数人更不愿这么做。

I suspect that you have in fact made a major transgression. In which case you should stop dithering, get cracking at once, and start your reply with a big, fat apology.

我怀疑，你实际上犯了一个大错误。如果是这种情况，你最好别再犹豫，立马行动，回复邮件，诚恳地为自己的行为道歉。

Your advice

读者的建议

Be professional

专业

Finishing a business email with “Lots of Love is unacceptable and regarded by most as unprofessional. Your email sign-off is part of your e-dress code: it sends a message about the image you want to create just as much as the way you dress. Why write a good email and then spoil it with the equivalent of wearing scruffy shoes with a designer suit?

在谈公务的电子邮件中落款写“非常爱你的是不可接受的，大多数人都认为这种做法不够专业。电子邮件落款是一个人“电子着装的组成部分：正如你希望通过着装展现你的形象一样，落款也能传递出你希望塑造的个人形象的信息。为何写完一封漂亮的邮件，却在落款时自毁形象，就像身着出自设计师之手的西装，脚上却穿着脏鞋子一样？

You should sign off with a line that reflects the professional image.

你应该在落款上体现出自身的专业形象。

Email consultant, female, 50s

电子邮件顾问，女，50多岁

Sit on the fence

圆滑一点儿

To avoid offence by being chilly and without reciprocating insincerely, why not sit on the fence with STY (same to you)?

为了不表现得冷冰冰，从而冒犯上司，并且在回复中避免显得不诚恳，何不表现得圆滑一些、在落款处写STY（same to you,也一样祝愿你）呢？

Anon, female

匿名，女

Be grateful

你应该感到庆幸

You should probably be grateful that it wasn’t signed off “LOL, which would have caused a different sort of confusion and consternation.

他落款上没用“LOL，你可能就应该感到谢天谢地了。LOL可能会引起完全不同的困惑和恐慌。（LOL既可作Lots of love的缩写，也可作“大笑laugh out loud的缩写——译者注）

Chairman, male, 57

董事长，男，57岁

Confront him

不要回避

If a manager is flirting, this could also be borderline harassment. Dealing with it might be better than shoving it aside. You should confront him and get over a potentially embarrassing situation before it develops.

如果一名经理言语轻浮，这也可能是一种暧昧的骚扰行为。解决问题可能比置之不理更好。你应当正面应对他，防患于未然，以免到最后陷入令人尴尬的境地。

Official, female

官员，女

Scare him off

吓跑他

It could be sarcasm – think here of Jamie in The Thick of It. Or it could be smarmy – think here of David Brent in The Office. Or trendy. Or absent-minded – perhaps he meant to email his girlfriend and got his wires crossed. Or just wimpy – he’s afraid to tell you off.

可能他想讽刺你——想想《幕后危机》(The Thick of It)里的杰米(Jamie)。也可能是拍你马屁——想想《办公室》(The Office)里的大卫·布雷特(David Brent)。或者他想赶时髦。或者他当时心不在焉——可能他本是想给女友发电邮的，结果搞混了。又或者他比较懦弱，不敢责备你。

You seem to think it’s the latter, in which case leave a short message to your significant other posted on your desk, with “Lots of love at the bottom (subliminal message: only they get to me by those words). That’ll scare him off.

看来你认为是后一个原因，在这种情况下，你给另外一个对你来说很重要的人写一张便签，末尾署上“非常爱你的某某，（言外之意：只有他们给我写信才能使用这样的字眼），然后贴到办公桌上。看到这样的纸片，他以后就不敢那么写了。

Male, anon

男，匿名

Turn to tradition

回归传统

Perhaps the old sign-off for letters to The Times may be apposite: “I am, Sir, your honourable and obedient servant.

或许，致《泰晤士报》(The Times)信件中那种老式的落款比较合适：“先生，我是您诚实、恭顺的仆人。

Or, as you know him: “I remain, Sir, your honourable and obedient servant.

或者，既然你认识他，就写：“先生，我仍是您诚实、恭顺的仆人。

Anon

匿名