编辑点评:雅思写作练习时,很多考生认为长难句能够提昇文章的语言质量并因此获得更高的分数。然而有时一味地追求句子的长度反而会牺牲句子的可读性与句法准确性。
下面我们就来看一些例子,体会一些写得并不成功的长句和如何修改的建议:
建议一:避免空洞的单词和词组
1.一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息,完全可以被删掉。
比如:When all things are considered, young adults of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
这句话当中的when all things are considered和in my opinion都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为:
Young adults of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。
2.有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换
例如:Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
due to the fact that就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子,可以替换,简化为下面的表达方式:
Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。
建议二:避免重复
1.尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复,但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。
例如下面这个例子:The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
large对一个farm来说就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改为:
The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。
更简洁的表达方式为:
My grandfather grew up on a large farm。
2.有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换
例如:My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents farm。
这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly,显得更为简洁:
My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents farm。
建议三:选择最恰当的语法结构
选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要,但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则:
1.一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。
例如:The situation that resulted in my grandfathers not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
从意思上来分析,上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是grandfathers not being able to study,而在表达这个概念时,原句用的主语是situation,谓语动词是was,不能强调需要表达的重点概念,可以改为下面这句话:
My grandfather couldnt study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。
2.避免频繁使用there be结构
例如下面的句子:There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。
可以改为:
My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。
更简洁的句式为:
My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。
3.把从句改为短语或单词。
例如:Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。
简介的表达方式为:
The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。
4.仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候,才使用被动语态。
例如:In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfathers family。
本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是忙碌的家庭-my grandfathers family,而使用了被动语态後,彷佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态,相对来说更简洁一些:
In the fall, my grandfathers family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。
5.用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语,
例如:My grandfather didnt have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达,即loiter:
My grandfather didnt have time to loiter with his school friends。
6.有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达
例如:Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too small to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。
两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子:
Profits from the farm were sometimes too small to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。
雅思语汇的试题:多种方式记单词第4期
06年4月22日雅思作文的真题
历年雅思作文真题的总结[3]
雅思语汇的试题:多种方式记单词第5期
雅思阅读模拟的试题:钱币
06年3月11日考试雅思的作文题
06年6月17日雅思作文的真题
06年3月18日雅思作文的真题
雅思口语测试部分试题的参考
历年真题:雅思考试听力的真题V26
雅思阅读的真题V54
雅思历年考试的真题:听力真题V30019
雅思听力的真题V54
雅思听力考试题型解题的指南(三)
雅思语汇的试题:多种方式记单词第3期
雅思语汇的试题:多种方式记单词第12期
06年6月26日雅思作文的真题
06年2月18日雅思作文的考题
06年2月25日雅思作文的考题
口语真题总结的另外的一个版本
雅思语汇的试题:多种方式记单词第11期
IELTS口语中关于工作的问题的总结
历年雅思作文真题的总结[5]
雅思范文:谈谈你身边城市交通的问题
雅思语汇试题:多种方式记单词的第9期
2006年1月21日雅思作文的考题
雅思阅读的八种题型的解题方法
雅思历年的真题:听力真题:V30030
历年雅思作文真题的总结[4]
06年6月10日雅思作文的真题
不限 |
英语教案 |
英语课件 |
英语试题 |
不限 |
不限 |
上册 |
下册 |
不限 |