借剑七考官范文复制雅思写作技巧

　　写作应该是一件美好的事情，也是一件快乐的事情。它的美好和快乐来自一种经典的美，那就是朴素。然而，培训的逐渐商业化和考生日益的功利心态，以及双方的相互作用，使得各种雅思写作辅导书上充斥着扭曲这种美感的材料。许多基础薄弱并缺乏判断力的考生因此陷入窘境。

　　本文的文本分析的材料来自2009年登陆中国大陆的剑桥雅思7册中考官所给的范文;

　　本文的分析标准来自雅思官方网站上的评分标准;

　　本文的目的在于重新回归雅思写作TASK 2部分的评分标准;

　　本文试图通过严肃性的学术分析，将考试的标准和考官的表现对应起来，按图索骥，找到可以借鉴的正确写作方法。

　　希望给正在备战雅思写作的考生一点复习的方向。

　　我们先来看剑七上第一篇雅思考题和考官的文章：

　　TEST 1 WRITING TASK 2

　　You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

　　Write about the following topic:

　　It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

　　Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

　　You should write at least 250 words.

　　Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

　　MODEL ANSWER

　　The relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent topic of discussion when people try to explain different levels of ability in, for example, sport, art or music.

　　Obviously, education systems are based on the belief that all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills, including those associated with sport, art or music. So from our own school experience, we can find plenty of evidence to support the view that a child can acquire these skills with continued teaching and guided practice.

　　However, some people believe that innate talent is what differentiates a person who has been trained to play a sport or an instrument, from those who become good players. In other words, there is more to the skill than a learned technique, and this extra talent cannot be taught, no matter how good the teacher or how frequently a child practices.

　　I personally think that some people do have talents that are probably inherited via their genes. Such talents can give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, while more hard-working students never manage to reach a comparable level. But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive. Good musicians or artists and exceptional sports stars have probably succeeded because of both good training and natural talent. Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, the child would not learn how to exploit and develop their talent.

　　In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required.

　　这篇文章共281 字，满足250个字以上的基本字数要求。下面，我们需要分别从结构、内容和评分标准本身来分析这篇文章。

　　第一，从结构上考虑：

　　由于这篇文章的题型是Discuss，即讨论，因此，文章分四个部分：首段引入话题，中间段第一段讨论第一种说法，中间段第二段讨论第二种说法。最后一部分由两段组成，一段表达自己的观点，另外一段总结自己的观点。文章结构是符合这种题型的。考生也应该就此举一反三，归纳从剑三到剑七上其他考官写过的文章的结构，找出自己应对其他三种主流题型的固定分段方法。其他三种题型分别为表态加论述，比较优缺点(有outweigh和无outweigh)问题原因措施。

　　第二，从内容上来看，文章所涉及的话题为教育，是最高频的雅思写作话题。笔者将此文翻译如下(大部分为直译，可供考生作进行中翻英以及写长难句练习材料。这种方法能使雅思考生体会雅思写作风格，熟悉常用表达，总结高分句型和发现语法错误，可谓一举多得)：

　　当人们试图解释不同程度的(比方说)在体育、艺术或音乐方面的能力时，天赋和培训两者的相对重要性是一个经常拿来讨论的话题。

　　显然，许多教育体制都基于这样一种信仰 所有的孩子都能被有效地训练以获得不同的技巧，这里也包括那些和体育、艺术或音乐相关的技巧。因此，从我们读书的经历来看，我们能找到许多证据来证明这样一个观点---任何一个孩子都能从持续的教学和指导性的训练中得到这些技巧。

　　然而，一些人相信天生的才能就是能使那些通过训练才能进行体育活动或弹奏乐器的人和那些(自身)成为优秀运动员(或乐器弹奏者)的人区分开来的东西。 换句话说，这里更重要的是能力而不是所学的技巧，并且这种特别的天赋是不能被传授的，不论教师有多么优秀或者孩子进行多么频繁的操练。

　　我个人认为有些人确实有着可能是从他们基因里遗传下来的天赋。这些天赋能帮助这些个体掌握一定技巧，使得他们领先于其他人;而那些更加努力的学生却无法达到可以相提并论的高度。但是，跟所有涉及天赋还是教育(能成才)的其他问题一样，这两者并不是相互排斥的。优秀的音乐家或艺术家以及技艺超群的体育明星所取得的成功应不仅归功于好的训练，也同时是天赋的作用。没有天赋，长期训练将会既没吸引力也没什么成果，而没有训练，孩子是无法学习如何开发和发展他们得天赋的。

　　综上所述，我同意任何孩子都能被传授特定技巧的观点，但是要在音乐，艺术和体育等领域中出类拔萃，一些自然天赋不可或缺。

　　雅思写作第一项评分标准是Task Response，它具体包括三部分：

　　1) how fully and appropriately the candidate has answered all parts of the task

　　这里的重点是 all parts of the task，很多考生不理解。其实，也就是说每个题设当中的动词 discuss both sides 和 give your own opinion 考生是否都以不同的段落完成。很明显，考官的文章无懈可击，我们已经在第一部分的结构讨论中分析过这个问题了。详见上文。

　　2) the extent to which the candidates ideas are relevant, developed and supported.

　　这里的重点是 relevant,develop,以及 support。我们首先来看 relevant，即文章有没有跑题，或者是否文章里面有废话可以被去掉，考生可以对照上文的中英双文仔细观察，没有一句话不是和主题相关的。所以相关性考官的范文做到了。而你自己写的文章呢?其次是 develop，观点有发展就一定不能原地踏步，而是有新的批判性思维和深入的观察。考官的范文充分地体现了这一点：在从事情两方面的分别讨论，一直到事情双方的逻辑关系，考官把握得十分到位。 请大家仔细阅读文章第四段，仔细体会这种思维的递进和发展。最后是 support，请大家阅读以下文字，具体体会句子之间总分关系(第一句总，而二三句分)，即这里的支持和被支持的逻辑关系：

　　这两者并不是相互排斥的。优秀的音乐家或艺术家以及技艺超群的体育明星所取得的成功应不仅归功于好的训练，也同时是天赋的作用。没有天赋，长期训练将会既没吸引力也没什么成果，而没有训练，孩子是无法学习如何开发和发展他们得天赋的。

　　3) the extent to which the candidates position is clear and effective

　　这里的重点是 clear和effective。考官的这篇文章思路是如何做到既想得明白又交代得清楚的?其实很简单。文章所有的句子可以分为两类，一类是别人的观点，一类是自己的观点。要知道，这一项评分标准中的position是指的自己的中心观点。所以把后一类把握清楚就可以了。作者的观点在原文中保持一致，第一，强调天赋的是先天的：I personally think that some people do have talents that are probably inherited via their genes;第二，强调天赋和训练都重要But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive;最后得到自己的结论，所有的孩子都可以接受训练，但是成就往往还需要一点天赋：any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required。这一二三点的一致性和层层递进是极其严密的逻辑。关键是，这三句话达到了在这层层递进中体现了一致性的效果，语言非常高效。实在是难得的范文。

　　第二项评分标准是Coherence and Cohesion，它具体包括两个部分：

　　1) how well the information and ideas are organised and presented, including paragraphing

　　2) how well the information is linked

　　语言的衔接包括两个：一个是句子和句子的衔接，另外一个是段和段的衔接。前者连接方法有使用代词，重复关键词，排比句，同意转述和连接词。后者分为三种不同逻辑关系：并列，递进和转折。文章中均有体现。笔者就不在此赘述了。

　　第三项评分标准是Lexical Resource，它具体包括三个部分：

　　1) the range of vocabulary used

　　2) how accurately it is used

　　3) how appropriate it is for the task

　　小词：Obviously, However, including, allow, via, while, do, give, extra, as

　　大词：frequent, differentiate, inherit, facility, comparable, exceptional, continuous

　　词组：are based on, associated with, plenty of, be inherited via, mutually exclusive

　　地道表达：The relative importance, this extra talent, allow them to excel, nature versus nurture

　　同义转述：children, a child, a person, individuals, students, any child

　　第四项评分标准是Grammatical Range and Accuracy ：

　　1) the range of structures used

　　2) how accurately they are used

　　3) how appropriate they are for the task

　　考官的语言功底深厚，250字尽显语言的风采。句式多变化，具体如下：

　　简单句：they are not mutually exclusive.

　　并列句：Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, the child would not learn how to exploit and develop their talent.

　　复合句：Such talents can give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, while more hard-working students never manage to reach a comparable level.

　　There be句型：there is more to the skill than a learned technique

　　比较句：In other words, there is more to the skill than a learned technique

　　长句：The relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent topic of discussion when people try to explain different levels of ability in, for example, sport, art or music.

　　In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required.

　　短句：they are not mutually exclusive.

　　下面这篇同样出自雅思考官的手。希望雅思考生能按照第一篇文章的分析方法来自行分析这第二篇文章。方法和顺序同上。要知道，做基础的文字分析也是扎实的练习语感和文字功底的方法。

　　TEST 3 WRITING TASK 2

　　You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

　　Write about the following topic:

　　As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being.

　　What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

　　How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

　　You should write at least 250 words.

　　Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

　　MODEL ANSER

　　Nowadays many adults have full-time jobs and the proportion of their lives spent doing such jobs is very high. So feelings about ones job must reflect how an individual feels about his or her life as a whole, and because of this, job satisfaction is indeed very important for the wellbeing of that person.

　　Employees get job satisfaction in a number of ways. Firstly, a person needs to feel that they are doing valued and valuable work, so positive feedback from superiors is very important in his respect. A sense of fulfillment is also encouraged if a worker feels the job is worth doing because it contributes to the society or the economy as a whole. Secondly, when someone feels they are improving or developing their skills through training opportunities, for example, then there is a sense of progress and purpose that rewards a worker. They are improving or developing their skills. The sense of belonging to a team or a working community also contributes to job satisfaction because colleagues help each other to enjoy their working lives. Satisfaction is also increased by a sense of responsibility for and the loyal to a team.

　　Of course not everyone enjoys their work. Hard economic realities mean that many people have little choice in the kind of job they can get. In some cases an employee is working in a job that suits neither their skills nor their personality. Some jobs are repetitive and boring, and labour relations may be poor and lead to resentment and insecurity rather than to job satisfaction.

　　However, even though it is unlikely that all workers do feel happy in their work, I think it is not unrealistic to promote more job satisfaction in any job. If the factors identified above are implemented, then any job can be improved and more workers can feel greater degrees of job satisfaction.

　　312 words

　　综上所述，其实变的是文字，不变的评分标准。以不变应万变，既是天赋，又需技巧。我们一起共勉。祝大家取得好成绩。