爆笑情人节：各年龄段的征婚要求（双语）

"What do you want in a Man?" or "What do you want in a girl?" is often the question to the boy or girl who is seeking for his/her partner.
When you are young your standards are set very high, however, as you age, you will have to lower your standards a bit and a bit and a bit...
I came across this joke today. It’s absolutely hilarious yet brutally true.

“你理想的男友是什么样的或“你理想的女友是什么样的是大多数男孩或女孩在寻找伴侣的时候提出的问题。
当你还年轻的时候标准定的相当高，但是随着年纪的增长，不得不一点一点的降低你的标准。
今天偶然看到一个笑话，虽然是玩笑但非常真实。

What I Want in a Man-Original List(age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover.

我理想的男友标准-原版(22岁时)
1.英俊
2.有魅力
3.有经济实力
4.善于倾听
5.机智
6.良好的外形
7.衣着有品味
8.欣赏美好事物
9.充满惊喜
10.富有想象力的浪漫情人

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What I Want in a Man-Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week.

我理想的男友标准-修订版(32岁时)
1.五官端正(有头发者优先)
2.上车帮我开车门，入座帮我拉椅子
3.有足够的钱享用美妙的晚餐
4.少说多听
5.我说笑话的时候一定要大笑
6.逛街的时候帮我拎包
7.至少有一条领带
8.喜欢家里烹饪的晚餐
9.记得我的生日和各个纪念日
10.一周至少制造一次浪漫约会

What I Want in a Man-Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends.

我理想的男友标准-修订版(42岁时)
1.不太丑(谢顶也可)
2.我上车后才开车
3.工作稳定-偶尔外出吃饭
4.我说话的时候点头
5.通常记得笑话中的妙语
6.有足够的力气搬家具
7.没有啤酒肚
8.不买带螺旋盖的香槟
9.记得放下马桶座圈
10.大多数周末会刮胡子

What I Want in a Man-Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends.

我理想的男友标准-修订版(52岁时)
1.保持鼻子和耳朵处的毛发整洁
2.不在公共场合打嗝或搔痒
3.向别人借钱不要太频繁
4.当我生气的时候不许打盹睡着
5.不要多次重复讲同一个笑话
6.周末不要一直赖在床上
7.常换内衣裤，袜子要成对
8.欣赏电视晚餐
9.必要时记得我的名字
10.有时周末会刮胡子

What I Want in a Man-Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend.

我理想的男友标准-修订版(62岁时)
1.不要吓唬小孩子
2.记得浴室在哪
3.不需要太多钱生活
4.睡着的时候鼾声较小
5.记得自己为何大笑
6. 行动自如
7.通常穿着衣服
8.喜欢软的食物
9.记得把自己的假牙放哪了
10.记得哪天是周末

What I Want in a Man-Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet

我理想的男友标准-修订版(72岁时)
1.活的
2.找的到卫生间

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（实习编辑：刘伟）