"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" .
" "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
打字错误与语法错误
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
"Accounting cleric."
"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
"Suspected to graduate early next year."
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
不应有的幽默
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
"But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular."
"Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it."
"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."
"Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第1部分 题型专题方略 专题4 第3讲 语法专题5 动词的时态、语态和语气(通用版)
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2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法19
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2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法25
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2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法24
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第1部分 题型专题方略 专题4 第3讲 语法专题3 形容词和副词(通用版)
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第1部分 题型专题方略 专题4 第1讲 语法填空题型分析(通用版)
2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法20
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第1部分 题型专题方略 专题4 第3讲 语法专题8 名词性从句(通用版)
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2016届高考英语二轮语法复习课件:专题10 特殊句式(人教版)
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第2部分 考前冲刺30天附录Ⅰ高考常考的动词短语(通用版)
2016届高考英语二轮复习课堂达标训练:第1部分 题型专题方略 专题4 第3讲 语法专题1 名词和冠词(通用版)
2016届高考英语二轮题型专题方略课件:专题4 语法填空和短文改错 第3讲 语法专题 8 名词性从句(通用版)
2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法21
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2016届高考英语二轮高频词汇练习5
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2016届高考英语二轮复习综合练:考点考向考法17
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