像奶奶那样去爱

My dear grandmother

我亲爱的曾祖母

passed away almost 18 years ago

去世已经约莫18年了

but I still miss her

但我仍然想念她

every single day.

每一天都如此

She was such an important part of my life.

她在我的生活中占据着十分重要的地位

My Mom, Dad, brothers and I

我和哥哥们，爸爸妈妈

lived in her old house

一直住在她的老房子里

for most of my childhood.

几乎贯穿我整个童年

And when I close my eyes

每当我闭上眼睛

and open my heart

敞开心扉

that is how I remember her.

就会记起她

I can still see her

她似乎仍在我眼前

in her flower print, cotton dress

穿着印花的棉质连衣裙

with a flour dusted apron tied over it.

外面系着一条沾满面粉的围裙

I can see

我仍能看到

her smiling face

她微笑的脸庞

with her wispy hair all askew

一绺绺头发无不凌乱

and her big glasses sliding down her nose.

一副大眼镜从鼻梁上滑下来

I can hear

我还能听到

her high pitched voice say,

她尖着嗓子叫

"HELLO"

“你好呀”

as I opened the door after school

当我放学回家，打开门的时候

while her arms opened

那时，她张开双臂

to give me a big hug and kiss.

给我一个大大的拥抱，一个甜甜的吻

I can even remember

我还能记得

how she smelled.

她身上的气息

It was a curious combination

那是许多气味的混合，十分有意思

of cold cream, Ben Gay,

里面有雪花膏的味道，药膏的味道

garlic, and tomato sauce.

大蒜的味道，还有番茄酱的味道

And when she hugged me

当她拥抱我的时候

I could feel the love and joy

我能感受到她的爱和愉悦

coming from her heart into mine.

从她的心传递到我的心

I thought I knew everything about my "Nana"

我以为自己知道关于外婆的一切

but amazingly

然而，令我惊叹的是

I am still learning more about her

我还能不停的得知新的关于她的事情

even today.

甚至就在今天也是如此

Just yesterday

就在昨天

an old family friend

我们家的一个老朋友

stopped to talk to me at the local post office.

看到我在邮局里，特意停脚来跟我打招呼

She told me

她告诉我

of what happened once while she visited my Nana

从前有一次她去拜访我奶奶的时候发生的事情

when I was still a little boy.

那时我还是个小男孩

They were sitting around the dining room table

她们围坐在餐厅桌旁 talking相谈甚欢

and our friend noticed the lovely earrings

这位朋友注意到了一对可爱的耳环

my Nana was wearing.

带在奶奶的耳朵上

She told Nana

她告诉奶奶

about how much she liked them

自己多么喜欢这对耳环

and asked

并且问

if possibly

如果可能的话

she could leave them to her in her will.

对方是否愿意在遗嘱里写上，把它们转赠给她

Without a second thought

没有半刻的迟疑

my sweet Nana took them off

我善良的奶奶摘下耳环

and gave them to her on the spot.

当场就将它们交给了她

After our friend left

这位朋友离开之后

I stood there

我站在原地

for a few minutes

好几分钟

in amazement.

仍然震惊不已

I had never known this

我从未听说过这件事

and as far as I could tell

而且就我所知

Nana never mentioned it to anyone.

奶奶从未对任何人说起这件事

That was just like her.

这就是奶奶的风格

She may have been feisty and temperamental

或许她曾经有些强势，有些容易激动

at times

但那只是偶尔

but

然而

she loved deeply

她却爱得深沉

and she gave freely.

并且慷慨的倾其所有

I have decided then

那时我便决定

that I want to love like Nana loved.

我想要像奶奶爱别人那样去爱

I want to give like Nana gave.

我想要像奶奶付出那样倾我所有

I want to live like Nana lived.

我想要像奶奶过去那样去生活

I want to care more about people

我想要更多的关心他人

and less about things.

更少的关心物质

I want to let my heart

我想要让自己的心

rather than my fear guide me.

而不是我的恐惧引领我

I want to share my love

我想要传播自己的爱

freely and joyfully.

自由而欢喜的

I want to give

我想要付出

and to live

想要生活

in such a way that sings and smiles.

想要生活中有歌声与微笑

May you do the same.

希望你亦能如此