情侣间最容易犯的错误

First, you and your partner are so smitten that you doubt the honeymoon period will ever end, and before you know it, you find yourselves sitting in front of a couples' therapist. Where did it go wrong? The longer you stay with someone, the more assumptions you make: "Well, I'm sure they know how much I love them by now" and "They should know how I feel or what I think at this point." Though that's true to some degree, he or she is not psychic (unless they are) and communication is still very much vital to a relationship at any stage. When we stop sharing our concerns, needs, and feelings with our partners, that's when things start to fall off.

刚开始，你和另一半如胶似漆，你甚至觉得你们的蜜月期永远不会结束，但在你意识到之前，你们俩就已经坐在夫妻治疗师面前了。到底是哪里出错了呢？与某人待在一起的时间越久，你就越容易假设："我相信，到现在为止，他/她肯定知道我有多爱他/她"或是"在一起这么久了，他/她应该知道我的感受、我的想法了。"虽然在某种程度上，这么想是对的，但他/她又不会通灵（除非他们会的话），而恋情的任何阶段，沟通都至关重要。当我们不再与另一半分享我们的担忧、需要和感受时，事情就开始变质了。

"I think the main one is that we forget that we're teammates," said relationship coach Tara Caffelle when asked what the most common mistake she sees couples make. "I'll talk to one member of a couple, and we'll come up with some brilliant discovery, and then they'll say, 'Do you think I should tell my partner about this?' and that's when I wanna smack them on the head and go, 'Well, of course you do!' "

当问及情侣间犯的最常见的错误时，情感教练塔拉·卡菲拉说："我想主要的原因就是我们忘记了我们是一个团队。""我会和夫妻中的一个人交流，我们会有一些很棒的发现，然后他们就会说'你说要不要把这件事告诉另一半呢？'这时候我真想扇他们一个大嘴巴然后说，'当然要说了！'"

Your partner is called a partner for a reason.

为什么要称呼他/她为另一半？那是有原因的。

You have to remember those early days when you used to tell each other everything. Once distance starts to form between you two, it's easy for it to go unnoticed until it really becomes an issue, and it's also difficult to close once you reach a certain point.

你要记得刚开始恋爱你们无话不谈的日子。一旦你们之间有了距离，在这件事真正变成问题之前，你们都会忽略它，因此一旦有了一定距离，就很难再变得亲密了。

"I think somehow it becomes that we're adversaries in our minds, and we stop thinking about sharing the vulnerable pieces of ourselves or being a team and calling your person," Tara said.

"我想在我们的脑中，我们不知不觉成了敌人，不再分享我们的脆弱、不再是一个团队、也不再煲电话粥，"塔拉说。

An example Tara used is being too afraid to tell your partner that you've gotten yourself into credit card debt. You need help but you feel guilty and don't want to be judged, so you continue to keep this secret to yourself, only making the problem worse.

塔拉举了个例子：你很害怕告诉另一半你信用卡欠债很多。你需要帮助，但你又感到内疚，害怕被指责，所以你继续将这个秘密藏在心中，反而加剧了问题的严重性。