送给20多岁的姑娘们：这十件事你一定要记住

If there is one thing I know from experience, for most people, their "roaring twenties" are a time of exploration, confusion, and utter bafflement. I was recently asked what I would go back and tell my younger self. Here are a few things that came to mind.

如果说我从过往的经历中明白了某件事，那就是对多数人来说，她们风华正茂的二十岁是一段充满探索、困惑和极度迷茫的岁月。最近，有人问起我有什么道理是我希望告诉年轻时的自己的。以下就是我能想到的一些忠告。

1. "Bad Boys" are best saved for movies.

1. “坏男孩”还是让他们留在电影里吧。

Bad boys are not exciting, they are chaotic, unreliable, unfocused and 99% of the time, they will cheat on you and don’t have a proper job. Just because they wear a cute outfit, flip off the establishment does not mean you should trust your heart or body with them.

坏男孩并没有什么让人兴奋的地方，他们混乱不堪，不可信赖，无法专注，他们会背叛你，更连个合适的工作都没有。仅仅因为他们衣着光鲜、反叛世俗，并不代表你可以把心或者身体放心交给他们。

2. You'll figure this out.

2. 有些道理，你总会明白。

Life is a series of steps and lessons. You only learn by doing, and sometimes, that means doing things you don't want to do, don't know how to do, shouldn't do and don't do well. Instead of worrying about what is not happening, pay attention to your growth and take it one step at a time.

人生需要一步一脚印，慢慢吸取教训。你只有去做了，才能学到东西。有时，这意味着做你不愿意做的事、不会做的事、不该做的事以及不擅长的事。与其担心你没有做到哪些，不如专注于你的成长，循序渐进。

3. No one will ever live up to a fantasy.

3. 没有人能满足你的幻想。

We, as humans, are flawed creatures. The point is not to find someone who is your "perfect match" but instead someone who shares your values, loves you, respects you, makes you smile, can live with your annoying habits, challenges you to be your best self and appreciates that you do the same for them.

我们生而为人，难免有所缺陷。关键并不是找到你的完美伴侣，而是找到那个ta，那个与你共享价值观、爱你敬你、让你开心、能忍受你烦人的小习惯、挑战你去做最好的自己、并能对你的同等付出心存感激的人。

4. Never chase anyone. Ever.

4. 不要追求别人。绝对不要。

People who want to be in your life will show up. Those who deserve to be in it will act right while there. Pretty simple.

那些想要出现在你人生中的人终会出现。值得出现在你人生中的人会在合适的时候做出正确的行动。就是这么简单。

5. Save a little money every week.

5. 每周都存点钱。

There will come a time in your life when you have an unexpected situation and need a little extra cash. Open a savings account and add to it every week. $100.00 when you can, $10.00 when you are really strapped.

人生中总会有些时候会发生意料之外的情况，需要一些额外的钱来摆平。开一个储蓄账户，每周都存点钱。力所能及的时候存100，生活拮据的时候存10块也好。

6. Rude first dates do not get second chances.

6. 不要给粗鲁的初次约会对象第二次机会。

There was a study performed that said that a first date is a good indication of what the relationship will be like. Pay attention to how your date speaks about and to others, his or her facial expressions, and if they cross the line with you, leave.

有研究表明，初次约会是感情走向的最佳预示。关注约会对象的谈吐、面部表情，要是超越了你的底线，就离开吧。

7. Toxic friendships are a waste of time.

7. 不良的友谊就是浪费时间。

Define what friendship really means to you and be that kind of friend to others. If you're not getting the support, love, loyalty and respect back-in any relationship-you need to move on. No matter how sticky or painful it might be initially.

衡量一下友谊对你的意义，自己先成为那样的朋友。如果你在任何关系中没有得到爱、忠诚、支持和尊重，你就该放手了，无论这一开始有多艰难和痛苦。

8. Unless you really know someone well, do not travel with them.

8. 除非你很了解一个人，不然不要和他们一起旅行。

Ever.

绝对不要。

9. Wit is sexier than a push-up bra.

9. 智慧比上托型内衣更能让你性感。

I am not going to sit here and pretend that a man doesn't have to find you attractive in order to date you. What I am saying is that focusing only on taking hot selfies and looking "sexy" is going to backfire. Yes, you get the initial spark of attention, but if you want to keep it, you'd better have something else to ignite a flame.

我不会假装男人想跟你约会时并不用觉得你很有魅力。我是想说，只在意如何拍好看的自拍、看起来性感，会适得其反的。没错，你起初能吸引对方眼球，但你若要保持这样的火花，最好是要有别的特质来点亮这团火才行。

10. Remember, this is your journey.

10. 记住，人生是你自己的旅程。

You are in this life and it is yours. You are the one who has to live with the decisions you make and the ones you don't. Loss is a very real thing in this life. You will lose people. You will lose opportunities. When this happens, will you regret not saying "I love you" or booking that trip or will you know you said everything you needed to say and took every chance you wanted to?

你主宰人生，主宰你自己的人生。你是那个对自己的决定付出代价的人。失去是生命中需要面对的现实，你会失去身边的人，失去机会……当这些发生的时候你会后悔没有说出那句“我爱你”、后悔没有预定那次旅行，还是会庆幸自己说出了每一句要说的话、把握了每一次想要的机会呢？