可以毁掉一桩婚姻的5个育儿错误

I've been married for eight years and a parent for six. I'm not an expert at either, but I've made enough mistakes to speak to what doesn't work. My marriage is far from ruined, but each and every one of these parenting stumbles has put a strain on my partnership. Thankfully there's room for mistakes and friction in a strong relationship, but left unchecked these argument starters could become marriage enders. Nobody is the perfect parent or the perfect partner and trying to be good at both is no easy feat, but avoiding these pitfalls certainly can't hurt.

我结婚八年、育儿六年。虽然我既不是婚姻专家，也不是育儿专家，但我犯过太多的错误，现在可以谈谈什么是没有用的。我离离婚还早着呢，但每一次的育儿错误都使我们的感情关系万分紧张。幸运的是，强大的感情关系中是有犯错误和摩擦的空间的，但是放任这些争论不管不顾只会造成婚姻的终结。没有人是完美的父母或伴侣，成为一位优秀的父母和伴侣并非易事，但是避开这些陷阱并没有什么坏处。

1. Not making time for each other. Let's face it, raising kids takes tons of time and energy but you've got to make sure that you reserve some of that for your partner. Find time have fun, laugh, be intimate, and remind each other why you started a family together in the first place.

1. 没有为对方腾出时间。让我们承认这一点吧，抚养孩子需要大量的时间和精力，但也要确保为自己的爱人留出时间和精力。腾出时间一起玩笑、亲密无间，让对方想起当初之所以愿意与你一起组成家庭的原因。

2. Not making time for yourself. Another mistake that's so easy to make is losing yourself completely to your family. You've got to make time for yourself. It's not selfish, it's essential.

2. 没有为自己腾出时间。另一个容易犯的错误就是自己很容易完全沉陷于家庭之中。你必须要为自己留些时间。这并不是自私，这是必要的。

3. Not having fun as a family. Interacting as a family unit, especially when it's something fun, is a great way to boost marital morale.

3. 家庭不快乐。以家庭为单位进行互动，尤其是遇到有趣的事情的时候，能够大大的增强婚姻士气。

Don't shoulder the burden of all the chores and childcare and then harbor resentment that you must do it all.

不要承担所有家庭事务和育儿的重担，然后又抱怨自己不得不承担一切。

4. Not asking for help. If you're going to find the time for yourself, your partner, and your family, you're going to need help. You can't be afraid to ask for it. It's especially important that your significant other knows what you need from them. Don't shoulder the burden of all the chores and childcare and then harbor resentment that you must do it all. Ask for help and make sure you get it.

4. 没有寻求帮忙。如果你想要为自己、伴侣、家庭留些时间，那么就需要找人帮忙。不要害怕寻求帮助。让你人生中重要的人知道你需要从他们身上获得什么是十分重要的。不要承担所有家庭事务和育儿的重担，然后又抱怨自己不得不承担一切。开口请人帮忙吧，并确保别人会帮你。

5. Differing discipline. While it's extremely important that both parents are allowed their own parenting style it is also key that they don't undermine each other. Do your best to get on the same page and act as a united front, nothing breeds resentment like being thrown under the bus. It's especially unfair if one parent is always required to be the disciplinarian.

5. 不同的纪律。尽管不同的家长有不同的一套育儿方式尤为重要，但这些育儿方式不相互破坏也同样重要。尽量保持一致，统一战线行动，没有什么比被别人推下水更容易滋生怨恨了。一方家长总是要用自己的一套纪律管教孩子是尤为不公的。