QE3问答

Q: Why did Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke launch a third round of bond buying known as quantitative easing, or QE3, last week?

问：美联储(Federal Reserve)主席贝南克(Ben Bernanke)上周推出第三轮被称做“量化宽松或QE3的债券购买计划。这是为什么？

A:Because the stock market told him to. How else can he keep the Dow Jones Industrial Average above 13000? Companies are warning of slower earnings growth.

答：因为股市要他这么做。不然他怎么让道琼斯工业股票平均价格指数稳定在13000点以上呢？公司都在发出利润增长减速的预警了。

Q: How big is QE3? A: $40 billion a month─indefinitely. This is on top of the $45 billion a month the Fed is already spending on another program called 'Operation Twist' through the rest of this year.

问：QE3规模有多大？

Q: Phew, is that all? A:Hardly. Since 2010, the Fed has dumped more than $2.3 trillion into the economy, artificially levitating the values of stocks and real estate against the ravages of an economic reckoning.

答：一个月400亿美元，没有止境。除此以外，美联储根据另一个名叫“扭曲操作(Operation Twist)的计划，今年年内每个月已经有450亿美元的投入。

Q: What will the Fed buy with this QE3 money? A: Mortgage-backed securities. It is betting that the way to fix a deflated housing bubble is to blow another one.

问：哦，就这样？

Q: Does the Fed really just print all this money? A: No. That would take eons. The Fed simply adds zeros to its magic spreadsheet, and violà, money!

答：难说。2010年以来，美联储已经向经济注资2.3万亿美元，人为拉高了股价和房价，防止它们受到经济崩溃的冲击。

Q: Isn't this a Ponzi scheme? A: Of course not. A Ponzi scheme is illegal. This is a Bernanke scheme.

问：美联储会拿着QE3的这笔钱去买什么？

Q: Is it working? A: Every new QE is an admission that the last one didn't work. Since the first QE in late 2010, America's economic growth has mostly been described as 'anemic.'

答：抵押贷款支持证券。它觉得，在楼市泡沫泄气之后，解决办法是再吹一个泡沫。

Q: So why will QE3 last indefinitely? A: It spares Mr. Bernanke the humility of announcing QE4, QE5, QE6 ….

问：美联储这些钱真的全都是印出来的吗？

Q: Will this finally lower unemployment? A: You tell me. The Fed has launched QEs and held interest rates close to zero for nearly four years. The unemployment rate has remained above 8%.

答：不是的，那得花无数年才能完成。美联储所做的不过是在它充满魔力的电子表格上加几个零，然后就有钱了！

Q: So why call it a 'recovery'? A: It's not as depressing as the term depression. A depression can be defined as a prolonged period of high unemployment.

问：这不是庞氏骗局吗？

Q: Why not just call it that? A: Another theory holds that a depression is impossible as long as Mr. Bernanke can keep creating money.

答：当然不是，庞氏骗局是非法的，这是贝南克骗局。

Q: Won't this cause inflation? A: Only if you eat food, burn gasoline, require medical attention, purchase commodities or pay college tuition. Bottled water is $1.29, and air is still free.

问：有效吗？

Q: Why haven't QEs worked? A: It's a global economy and QEs simply leak out of the bucket. Companies, for instance, may use the cheap money to expand abroad. And consumers may use it to buy more Chinese goods.

答：每推一轮新的QE，就是在承认上一轮无效。从2010年年底推出第一轮QE以来，对美国经济增长的形容通常都是“乏力。

Q: So why do it? A: The money flows into banks to strengthen their balance sheets. Corporations use it to lower borrowing costs and launch stock-repurchase programs. The ensuing boost in corporate performance helps executives collect 'performance pay.'

问：那么为什么QE3要无止境地推行下去呢？

Q: Won't the Fed eventually have to sell the trillions in bonds it is buying? How will it be able to find enough buyers?

答：这样贝南克就不用尴尬地宣布QE4、QE5、QE6……

A: Don't ask. Nobody knows.

问：这最终会不会降低失业率？

Q: How do QEs contribute to our national debt? A:The Fed's purchases of U.S. Treasurys lower the interest rate our government pays to issue them. This can only encourage more borrowing. Since 2010, our national debt has risen more than 60% to more than $16 trillion.

答：你说呢？美联储推出QE、将利率维持在接近于零的水平已经快四年了，失业率一直保持在8%以上。

Q: Isn't that astronomical?

问：那为什么说是“复苏呢？

A: Yes. But we can now measure the national debt in lightyears. A lightyear equals nearly six trillion miles. At $1 a mile, our national debt is only 2.6 lightyears.

答：这个词没有“萧条那样让人意志消沉。萧条可以定义为长期高失业。

Q: Why lightyears? A:Because our economic woes are indefinite, and that's why QE3 is indefinite. Mr. Bernanke should change his name to Buzz Lightyear: 'To infinity and beyond!'

问：为什么不就叫它萧条呢？

答：还有一套理论认为，只要贝南克能够不断地创造货币，萧条就不可能发生。

问：这会不会引起通货膨胀？