夫妻治疗是否有效？

A recent op-ed in The New York Times titled "The Futility of Couples Therapy" has sparked a lot of conversation. Maybe that's because we all know a couple who have tried therapy, or maybe we've even been that couple.

纽约时报最近一个名为“徒劳的夫妻治疗”的专栏引发了广泛讨论。也许是因为我们都认识一对接受过治疗的夫妻，或者甚至我们自己就是这样的夫妻之一。

We also know that while some unions are strengthened through some time on a therapist's couch, others fail. The author of the op-ed, Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje, was in the former category: Her marriage survived. And yet, the very title of the article suggests that the years she and her husband spent in therapy don't deserve credit for the fact that she and her husband are still together.

我们也知道尽管通过一段时间的治疗一些夫妻关系加强了，也有另一些失败了。专栏的作家Melissa Fletcher Stoeltje属于前者，她的婚姻被挽救了。但是她的文章却写道，她和她丈夫花在治疗上的时间并不值得赞扬，因为他们还依旧在一起。

Fletcher Stoeltje isn't the only one with mixed feelings. There have been numerous other articles debating the efficacy of couples therapy, including this one from 2017, and this one from 2005, which states that 25 percent of couples were worse off two years post-therapy than they were when they started, and that 38 percent of couples had divorced four years post-therapy.

并不是只有Fletcher Stoeltje有着复杂的感情，有很多其他的文章争论着夫妻治疗的有效性。这篇2017年的写道25%的夫妻在治疗两年后情况变得更加糟糕，另一篇2005年的写道38%的夫妻在治疗四年后离婚。

What exactly is going on?One thing we know: Marriage itself is declining.

到底发生了什么呢？我们可以确定的是：婚姻关系本身就在减弱。

It's not yet known if marital therapy is becoming less common, but marriage itself certainly is. The rate of marriage has steadily decreased since the 1960s. Because of this, there has possibly been less therapy specifically for married couples and more of "a broad range" of therapy for couples in longer-term relationships.

我们并不知道婚姻治疗是不是越来越少，但婚姻本身确实如此。从20世纪60年代开始结婚率正在缓慢下降，因此或许针对已婚夫妇的治疗已经减少了，而针对伴侣长期关系的更加范围广泛的治疗却增加了。

Whether or not the relationship can be saved, an individual going through a tough time needs support, and therapy can provide that.

无论双方关系能否被挽救，一个人面对难熬的时期是需要支持和帮助的，而治疗可以提供这种帮助。

Therapy is not a guarantee that your relationship can be saved, but if you both have an equal interest in making progress, and you can afford it, then it's certainly worth a try. At the very least, if you're the interested party, going to see a therapist can potentially help you through whatever transition is happening in your relationship.

治疗并不是保证关系被挽救的良药，但如果双方都愿意进一步维系且可以承担这种治疗，那么的确值得尝试。至少如果你感兴趣，去看治疗师可以从潜意识里帮助你度过双方关系的转型期。