放开去爱：找回爱的魔力

As I was driving around today, I heard the song, "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama.

我今天正开着车四处转，听到了香蕉女郎组合的《无情的夏日》这首歌。

It came out in 1984 during the summer, and I remember the woman I was dating. It was my college girlfriend, Ellen. I graduated college and I was so in love. We were six months into the relationship, and I couldn't believe we had to be apart the following year. We talked about it all summer, trying to think of ways we could make it work.

这首歌是在1984的夏天流行的，我还记得当时正在交往的那个女人。她是我大学时的女朋友艾伦，我毕业了，还沉浸在爱情之中。我们交往了6个月，我无法相信第二年我们不得不分别。整个夏天我们都在讨论这件事，努力想要找到解决方法。

She was going to take the train to me every other weekend. We would spend four days together in the month, and it would be fine. It was so innocent, captivating and beautiful. I remember falling in love again when I was 24. I couldn't believe the overwhelming feeling I had for another person. It was as if I'd swallowed some drug that left me feeling a little bit crazy.

她每隔一个周末坐火车来看我一次，一个月当中我们有四天时间待在一起，这也不错。那时多么天真，多么迷人，多么美好。我记得24岁时再次坠入爱河，我无法相信对另外一个人产生了那种势不可挡的感觉，就好像我吞下了某种毒品，感觉有点疯狂。

Now, I see myself as a grown man and I wonder, "What happened to the magic of being in love? Why doesn't it feel the way it used to feel?"

现在我觉着自己成熟了，我就想：“恋爱的魔力哪去了？为什么我的感觉不似从前了？”

While I was driving, I decided I was going to figure this out for all of us, and I came to this conclusion: Love doesn't feel like it used to because people are much more screwed up now. We're a society of people who live in fear. The one thing we all want is the thing we fear the most. When we were kids, we knew how to let go, but now we're adults and we're stiff.

开着车，我就决定要为我们所有人弄清楚这件事，我得出了这个结论：爱情的感觉不似从前是因为人们现在更心烦意乱了。我们是一群活在恐惧中的人，我们都想得到的就是我们最害怕的。儿时我们知道如何放手，但现在成年的我们变得呆板了。

We want to be open, but we over analyze everything. We think there's a game that needs to be played. If you get back to somebody too quickly, you're going to be showing your cards, so you have to play it cool. We have all these games and rules people created. When we were younger we felt free to be vulnerable and offer our hearts.

我们想要敞开心扉，但对一切我们都想得太多。我们以为这是一场需要玩的游戏。如果你太快给别人答复，就亮出了自己的底牌，所以你要耍酷。人们创造了所有这些游戏和规则，我们年幼时容易付出真心，同时也易受伤害。

It becomes all about ego when we get older. Our egos are "protecting" us from falling in love. That's what's so sad. Love is what we all need. Love is what all of us desire. Love is all we're ever going to care about the day we die. We're not going to care about that great BMW we bought; we're going to remember the feelings we got from the people in our lives. That's what love is. Love is being heard, love is being seen, love is being felt. Love is being vulnerable to feel your emotions.

随着年龄增长我们变得自我，“保护着”自己不要坠入爱河，多悲哀呀。爱情是我们都需要的，是我们所有人都渴望的，是我们死去的那一天仍然在乎的东西。我们不会在乎我们买的大宝马；我们会记得生命中的人给我们的感觉。这就是爱，爱就是被听到，被看到，被感受到。爱就是容易感受到自己的情绪。

Love is listening. Love is embracing. Love is kissing. Love is touching. The magic is still there. We just have to tap into that magic. And we need to tap into it fast, because the older we get, the more the stories and fears become real.

爱是倾听，是拥抱，是亲吻，是触摸。爱的魔力仍在，我们只需要进入魔力之中，而且速度要快，因为我们年龄越大，故事和恐惧就变得越真实。

When we were younger, our stories were about innocence and falling in love. We yearned for something we knew nothing about. Now we understand that what we want has previously brought us pain and fear and agony.

我们年幼时，故事里满是天真和恋爱，我们渴望未知的东西。现在我们知道了想要的东西曾给我们带来痛苦、恐惧和苦恼。

Love is a beautiful thing. Let love grow inside your heart and watch the love that comes out in the people around you.

爱是美好的。让爱在你内心生长，看着爱在你周围人中开花结果。