恋爱达人告诉你：异地恋好处多多

My first long-distance relationship didn’t work out, but I am sure I would do it again.I’ll admit I used to be that person who looked at long-distance couples absolutely dumbfounded.“Why do that to yourself? You barely know each other, yet you’re jumping into a pretty serious commitment?”

我第一次异地恋没有结果，但我确定我愿意再来一次异地恋。我承认我过去看到异地恋的情侣绝对会很震惊。“为什么要那样对待自己？你们都不怎么了解对方，就急于把自己认真地托付给对方？”

But to my own surprise, I found a couple of things about long-distance dating that made it worth the trouble for the beginning of any relationship.

但令我自己惊讶的是，我发现了有几点原因使得异地恋虽然初期会遇到一些麻烦，但仍值得拥有。

Long distance forces you to answer two questions that could save you a lot of time:

想要异地恋不得不先回答两个问题，这样能节省很多时间：

1. Do you trust him or her?

你信任TA吗？

2. Do you trust yourself?

你信任你自己吗？

It’s really easy to ignore these questions when your boyfriend or girlfriend is with you all the time because the lack of space between you two doesn’t allow you to test your trust.

男女朋友总是腻在一起，真的很容易忽略掉这些问题，因为你们之间没有距离来测验你们之间的信任。

For most couples, you don’t bother dealing with that question until much later on.

对大多数情侣而言，要过很久才会遇到处理这种问题的麻烦。

But once you’re deeper into a relationship, coping with the fact your gut tells you not to trust him or her (or yourself) is much more difficult to do when you’re already so emotionally invested.

但是一旦你们关系深入了，直觉告诉你不要相信TA或你自己时，因为投入的感情多了，所以处理起来就更困难。

When you start off your relationship with long distance, you’re forced to deal with the issue of trust from the very beginning.

当你开启一段异地恋时，你从一开始就被迫去处理信任的问题。

You’re either going to form a strong bond of trust that will make you two feel closer than the distance puts you apart, or you’ll realize you need to end things.

你们要么建立一种强烈的信任感，使你们感觉虽然相隔千里，但心离得很近；要么就结束这段感情。

And, as much as the truth is an absolute blow sometimes, it’s better to find out and get out early than having the ugly truth hit you over the head down the road.

而且，有时现实绝对是一种打击，及早发现问题，尽快抽身，要好过糟糕的现实将来给你当头一棒。

Another advantage to a long-distance relationship is the fact you can pace yourself. We’ve all been there: You get into a new relationship, and before you know it, it’s like you’re attached at the hip.But how do you ask for space without creating a problem? You can’t, so you continue to spend all of your time together until you’re suffocating and problems arise.

异地恋另一个好处就是你可以控制好节奏。我们都是全身心投入的：你开始一段新感情，在你深入了解这段感情之前，你们就像被绑在一起似的。但你们如何才能拥有自己的空间，而不产生误会呢？你们做不到，所以就继续时刻黏在一起，直到要窒息了，问题产生了。

I don’t think couples should jump right into the inseparable stage, and long distance gives you that necessary space.

我认为情侣不应该太早就开始形影不离，异地恋就能给你们必要的空间。

Staring at Netflix for hours on end together isn’t an option, so you’re talking on Skype or on the phone instead.

不一定非要窝在一起连续看几个小时网飞上的视频，用网络电话或手机聊天也不错。

You’re truly getting to know each other and working your way into a more serious relationship instead of blindly jumping.

你们能真正了解彼此，逐渐建立更认真的关系，而不是盲目投入感情中。

Long distance can give you these benefits and do your relationship a lot of good, but only under the condition that the distance is temporary.

异地恋对你和你们的感情大有好处，但条件是异地恋是暂时的。

When you know it’s temporary, and you have a plan to be together in the near future, you’ll be able to appreciate the benefits.

如果你知道异地只是暂时的，你就会为不远的将来你们在一起时制定一个计划，你将受益于异地恋的益处。