教你如何正确地请教他人

What would you do if you had a tricky problem at work? Or if while studying you came across a sentence in your notes you couldn’t quite understand? Or if you are simply lost in a new city?

在工作中遇到了棘手的问题，你会怎么办？做功课看笔记时遇到不明白的句子，你又会怎么做？或者仅仅是在某个陌生的城市迷了路，你要怎么做？

When you are stuck in life there are many ways to move forward. You could spend time and effort brainstorming to find the answers yourself. You could go to the library to peruse books. Or, you could consult Google or other Web-based resources.

这时候，有许多方法可供选择，比如：自己花时间和精力，通过 “头脑风暴”找到答案；或者去图书馆翻翻书；也可以去问问谷歌或者借助其他互联网资源找到解决之道。

But there is one thing many of us avoid – asking for advice. There are many reasons for this reluctance. For one, we do not want to bother others. They must be busy and have their own problems to solve.

但是，有种方法却总被我们忽视——请教他人。我们不愿开口的原因有很多，比如不愿打扰他人，因为我们知道每个人都很忙，都有自己的问题需要解决。

However, recent research has shown fears about appearing incompetent by asking advice are totally misplaced. Far from inconveniencing or annoying the advice-giver, asking for advice may make others think you are smarter.

不过，最近的研究发现，人们其实完全不必担心请教他人会让自己显得无能。向他人请教问题不仅不会带来不便或是让被问者感到厌烦，反而会让你在别人眼中更聪明。

Harvard behavioral science professors Alison Wood Brooks and Francesca Gino, along with University of Pennsylvania business professor Maurice Schweitzer, discovered this phenomenon through a series of experiments conducted over the past few years. Their studies were recently published in Scientific American.

哈佛大学行为学教授埃尔森•伍德•布鲁克和弗兰斯克•吉诺，以及宾夕法尼亚大学的商学院教授马利斯•施韦泽经过几年的实验，共同发现了上述结论。最近，他们的科研成果发表登上了《科学美国人》杂志。

These researchers discovered that asking for advice is in fact a form of flattery. And in general, flattery reflects positively on the flatterer, even if the fawning is insincere.

他们发现：请教他人其实是一种恭维。而通常情况下，恭维对于恭维者有益无害，哪怕他的恭维毫无真心可言。

Ego booster

自尊心大增

According to researchers, by asking someone to share his or her wisdom, a person can boost the adviser’s ego.

研究同时发现：请求别人分享智慧，能让被请教之人自尊心大增。

But the power of advice-seeking has limits: You can’t boost someone’s ego if you ask something he or she has little knowledge about.

但是，这并非总是奏效：比如被问之人对你所问的知识领域知之甚少。

In one experiment, the researchers asked people to identify areas of personal strength and weakness, such as their knowledge of sports, musical instruments or geography. Next, someone approached them for advice in their area of self-identified weakness. The non-experts were perplexed by these questions and viewed the asker as less competent for seeking their help.

在一次实验中，研究人员首先让参与者说明自己在体育、乐器、地理等各个领域的强项和弱项。然后，让别人去向他们请教自己的弱项，他们于是也被问题纠结，觉得向他们寻求帮助的人能力不足。

What are the implications of these findings? For those in need of guidance, says an article in The Atlantic, the good news is that asking an expert for advice can only help. The bad news is that this does not mean humans are “a bunch of altruistic saints” who will help whomever they can. We tend to like people who (at least pretend to) respect us. “It’s more evidence that, at least in the business world, flattery will get you everywhere,” says the article.

这些发现说明了什么？《大西洋月刊》的一篇文章这样写到：对于那些需要帮助的人而言，（研究发现）好消息就是只要问对专家就能找到答案，不幸的是并非人人都是“无私的圣人”、愿意对任何人伸出援手。我们喜欢对我们表示尊重的人（哪怕是装出来的）。尤其在商业领域，奉承更是屡试不爽。

So, to the millions of graduating college students who are looking for jobs now, apart from dressing appropriately and behaving with good manners, try to ask the interviewers some advice about the field or industry you are going to work in, as this will surely help you leave a good impression.

因此，对于数百万正在找工作的大学毕业生而言，除了穿着得体、举止有礼，在面试时向面试官请教一些未来工作领域或行业方面的问题也会让你留下更好的印象。