一招脱单 世界上最有用搭讪情话

On a wet Tuesday, I am hovering furtively in the fresh produce section of Sainsbury’s. But my absorption in the merits of Golden Delicious and Washington Reds is but a cunning charade. I’m really on a mission.

一个天气潮湿的周二，我在超市的生鲜区域前后逡巡，假装专注的看着那些金冠苹果和华盛顿红苹果，然而这只是我狡黠的诡计，事实上我正在执行秘密任务。

I have just received four hours of tuition in the art of flirting from relationship coach Jean Smith and I’m here to put my skills to the test.

我刚刚在恋爱大师简·史密斯那儿学习了四个小时搭讪的艺术，现在正要验证一下我所学得的技巧。

Spotting a middle-aged victim, I sidle up and deliver the line suggested by Jean to provoke conversation.

这时我发现一个中年目标对象，我缓步走过去，说出了那句简建议我们使用的，用来打开对方话匣子的台词。

‘Um,’ I begin magnificently. ‘Have you tried that kind of apple before?’

“呃，”我镇重其事的开口说道：“请问你吃过这种苹果吗？”

Flirting has been Jean’s specialist subject for more than a decade, after doing a masters degree in social anthropology. Not only has she produced an entire book on the subject (The Flirt Interpreter), but she runs ‘Flirtology’ courses.

简在获得社会人类学博士学位之后，数十年来一直专注于对搭讪艺术的研究。她不仅对这个课题写出了一本专注（《搭讪解谜者》),还在讲授关于“搭讪学”的课程。

‘Clients appreciate a scientific approach. Flirting is a skill — you can learn it. I’m a catalyst to set people on track — it’s up to them to act on it,’ Jean says.

“顾客们想要获得一种科学的方法。搭讪是一种技巧——是可以学习的。我能起到一种催化剂的作用，帮人们找到正确的途径。——不过如何亲身实践就要看他们自己了。”

My four hours with her are a condensed version of one of her courses. Judging by her central London flat where we met for the first two hours, she is doing very nicely.

她对我讲授的四小时课程浓缩了她课程中讲授的内容。我们第一堂课时长两小时，地点是在她位于伦敦中心地区的公寓里，从这套公寓来看，她的收入相当可观。

Jean asks what I’m looking for, ushering me away from ‘objectifying laundry lists’ such as height, weight and income.

简问我想要找什么样的人，让我避免设立太过具体化的“明细清单”式的标准，比如身高、体重和收入要求等等。

This is not to say she advocates hooking up with a short, fat pauper. But she urges me not to rule out someone just because I prefer taller men: ‘It’s holding you back. How much of your life are you standing up next to each other?’

这并不是说她鼓励我去勾搭一个又矮又胖的穷光蛋，不过她劝我不要就因为自己喜欢较高的男性而把一些人排除在选择范围之外。

Then she asks what I’m doing to improve my chances of meeting someone, and suggests a big party where everybody brings a single friend, adding: ‘You need to spend more time in places where you can start up conversations without expectations.’

然后她问我为了找到合适的伴侣做了哪些准备，建议我可以举办一个盛大的派对，并要求每一个客人都要带一名单身携伴参加。她还说道：“在某些特定的场所你常常会找到不期而遇的谈伴，你要多花些时间呆在这些地方。”

This, it turns out, is largely what Jean’s ‘flirtology’ is about — not being coquettish, but simply going to places where there are other people, and talking to them. The idea is meeting as many potential partners as possible in the hope one will click. It’s a numbers game, but one you can only embark on if you’re confident enough — which is what Jean hopes to teach.

其实，上述就是简的“搭讪学”的主要理念——不需要打扮得太招人注目，而是要去那些可以碰到他人的地方，与他们交谈。这就是说，你要尽可能多的与潜在对象交流，锁定其中一人符合目标。这是一个以多多益善为原则的游戏，不过如果你足够自信，你就能发挥自如——这就是简试图教会人们的。

She has also devised an unlikely acronym for six flirting signals to look for. ‘It’s HOT APE — Humour, open body-language, touch, attention, proximity and eye contact. That’s what you look for to tell someone is flirting with you. Also self-disclosure — they tell you something about themselves.’

不可思议的是，她还设计了一组首字母缩写字符，概括了六种人们应当注意的搭讪信号。“这六个首字母就是HOT APE(直译为“性感的大猩猩”）——幽默（humor)、开放式的身体语言（open body-language)、接触（touch）、关注（attention）、距离（proximity）和眼神交流（eye contact）。