员工跟老板传绯闻怎么办

Some of my colleagues have been spreading a story about my having had a secret affair with my boss. The evidence for this is that I sometimes tease him and do not appear to be frightened of him. I am partly amused at the stupidity of it all, but also cross at the misogyny. I am one of the more senior women here; it is depressing if colleagues believe I must have slept my way to the top. Do I laugh it off? Do I try and quash it? And if so, how? Female, 40s

有些同事一直在散播我与上司有染的传言。证据是我偶尔会跟他开玩笑，显得一点都不怕他。这些蠢话让我既好笑又愤怒，这纯粹是蔑视女性。我是这家公司级别较高的女性之一，如果同事们相信我是一路睡上来的，会让我非常沮丧。我是该一笑而过，还是试着澄清谣言？如果我想澄清谣言，该怎样做呢？女性，40岁

Yes, it is depressing. No one considers the success of a man to be in need of further explanation in terms of who he has slept with. This is a woman’s problem and it is a tricky one.

是的，这的确令人沮丧。假若是一个男人获得了成功，没人觉得他需要解释自己跟谁睡过。这种问题只有女性会遇到，而且很难应付。

Should you laugh it off, you ask. That might make sense if this were funny, only it is not.

你问自己是不是该一笑而过。如果这事很好笑，一笑而过才合理，然而它不是。

Should you try to quash it? Most Financial Times readers say no, arguing that you will only make matters worse: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” and all that. Yet every time I hear the quote I regret that Shakespeare ever wrote these words: they are routinely used to discourage anyone from trying to object to anything that does them damage.

你应该澄清谣言吗？《金融时报》的读者大多说别这么做，说这种事只会越描越黑，“我想这女的会解释得太多了”（The lady doth protest too much, methinks，出自《哈姆雷特》——译者注），诸如此类。不过每次我听到这句引语，我都会遗憾莎士比亚(Shakespeare)没写过下面这些文字：所有会伤害到他们的事物，每当有人试图反对时，他们通常习惯于劝说不要反对。

And this rumour about you and your boss is damaging. It is a slight on your skill at your job, on your professional judgment, and (depending on what your boss is like) on your taste in men.

而这个关于你和你上司的谣言就在造成伤害。它侮辱了你的工作能力，你的职业判断力，以及你对男人的品味（取决于你上司是个什么样的人）。

I suggest you first try to find out what you are up against. Ask your friends and allies in the company whether they have heard about it, who told them, and how long it has been doing the rounds.

我建议你先搞清楚自己要面对些什么。问问关系比较近的同事，看他们是否听过这些谣言，谁告诉他们的，以及这些谣言传多久了。

Once you are armed with some names, I suggest you take matters into your own hands. March up to them and say: “I’ve got some hot gossip for you, did you know that I’m having an affair with my boss?”

等到你掌握了一些名字后，我建议你亲自去处理。你迎着他们走上前说：“我有些新鲜热辣的八卦要告诉你。你知道我跟老板有一腿吗？”

Watch them squirm. Then tell them that the gossip is that they were spreading rumours to that effect. Let them wriggle and protest while you raise a sceptical eyebrow. Even if the rumour refuses to die, you will have caused some grievous embarrassment. That, surely, will be a comfort.

你看着他们局促不安的样子，然后告诉他们，真正的八卦是他们在散播这种谣言。任由他们扭捏作态地申辩反驳，你只要怀疑地挑起一边眉毛。即便谣言不会消失，你至少让他们难堪。这绝对能安慰到你。

You could talk to your boss, but if I were you I would not. I am not frightened of my manager either, but I would not relish the idea of telling him that people thought I was sleeping with him. Quite apart from the trickiness of the conversation, there is the further snag that his reputation is also on the line. If he finds out what people are saying, he might be less likely to promote you for fear of being seen to favour his rumoured mistress.

你也可以告诉你老板，不过假若我是你就不会这么做。我也不怕我经理，但我不会告诉他人们以为我跟他上床了这种话。先不说这种事不好开口，更大的问题是，此事危及到他的名声。如果他知道人们传这些闲话，就可能不太会提拔你，因为他担心会被人们看成他在偏袒他传闻中的情妇。

Otherwise I would not change a thing. For you to tease is absolutely fine. Above all, do not consider working harder to prove that you deserve your place on your own merits. You have already proved that to yourself, and if others do not see it that way, put it down to sexism and envy.

另外，我觉得你什么也不用改变。你跟老板开玩笑是绝对没问题的。最重要的是，你不要想通过更加努力工作来证明你是靠实力坐上这一位置的。你已经向自己证明了这一点，如果其他人不这么想，你就把他们归结为性别歧视和嫉妒。