外媒看中国 论如何与中国人相处

Sitting halfway around the world in the lobby of an upscale hotel sipping tea, I felt my face turning beet red.

坐在一家高档酒店的大厅里喝着茶，我感觉到自己满脸通红。

Only moments before, I had been formally introduced to the person facing me by a longtime colleague who then left so we could become acquainted.

几分钟之前，同事刚刚把对面这位女士介绍给我认识，之后同事离开了，只留下还不太相熟的我俩。

However, from this newcomer's initial line of questioning, instead of being courted I felt like I was being grilled.

随后，这位刚认识不久的女士开始问了一连串的问题，让我觉得我像是在接受审问。

My new Shanghainese contact -- looking very demure and innocent -- sat there cool and collected as she dove into a one-sided conversation, asking personal question after personal question:

眼前这位上海女士看起来非常端庄秀丽、单纯无辜，她酷酷地坐在那里，问着一个接一个的私人问题，像是在进行一场单方面的谈话。

"How old are you?"

“你多大了？”

"What kind of salary does your job pay?"

“你的工作能拿多少工资？”

"What does your husband do for a living?"

“你丈夫是做什么的？”

"Do you enjoy hanging out in bars?"

“你喜欢泡吧么？”

She even went so far as to bring up the subject of my weight, wanting to know, "Is it because of your work that you are a large woman?"

她甚至还问到了关于我体重的问题，“你这么胖是因为工作的原因吗？”

I mentally punched the woman in her thin stomach for that one. In real life, I rode out the inquisition with a fake smile pasted on my face while I delivered my answers as tersely as possible.

听到这个问题时，我在心里狠狠地揍了这位苗条的女士一拳。可表面上，我却面带微笑、泰然自若地、尽可能简洁地回答了这个问题。

It's not as if I hold any of this information near and dear to my heart (I am pretty much an open book), but I remember thinking the question/answer session seemed a bit premature given that we had just met.

这并不是说我不愿告诉别人这些有关我个人的信息（实际上我是个相当坦白的人），我只是觉得作为刚刚认识的两个人谈论这些私人问题有些为时过早。

But then the queries subsided and the tables turned.

谈话的后半部分，我从回答问题的人变成了提出问题的人。

Not wanting to be so brazen, I started tentatively by asking if my inquisitive conversation partner was married with children.

因为不想过于失礼，我只是尝试问了对方有关家庭、孩子方面的问题。

She lit up, telling me all about her family and her job and her lack of time for after-work fun. She even told me she was too skinny because she was working so hard she hardly had time to eat.

这位女士立刻兴奋起来，滔滔不绝地跟我讲起她的家庭、她的工作，以及她在工作之余如何没有时间玩乐。她甚至还跟我说她这么瘦是因为工作太忙而几乎没有时间吃饭。

We ended the hour feeling close. Then, as I went about my day, I thought about that conversation. I realized that the way my new friend held court was simply the Chinese way for finding common ground.

大概一个小时之后，我们结束了“亲密的交谈”。那天晚上我想到这段谈话时，突然意识到我的这位新朋友拉近陌生人距离的这种方式在中国其实是很常见的。

That said, following are some other ways in which things are done in China that might be surprising to the uninitiated American business traveler:

下面是其他一些让外国人感到奇怪的、但中国人却觉得很平常的事：

•When standing up while conducting a one-on-one conversation, don't back away simply because your Chinese counterpart seems a little too close for your comfort.

站着进行面对面谈话时，不要因为对方（中国人）和你靠太近就往后退，这是不礼貌的。

•If you are lining up to wait for, say, a train or a bus, don't be surprised if you are shoved or pushed -- and don't get into a confrontation because of this.

在火车站或汽车站排队的时候，如果被人推到或挤到也不要大惊小怪，更不要因为这个和别人吵起来。

•If you want to point to something, use an open hand instead of using your index finger.

如果你要指东西，要伸开整个手去指，而不要用食指。

•Be on time (or a little early) for a meeting. In China, punctuality is a must.

开会或会面时要准时或是早到，在中国守时是必须的。

•Finally, keep your hands to yourself, even if you are just trying to make a simple gesture to accompany what you have to say. In China, use your words instead of acting them out or you might be considered overly dramatic.

最后，即使你只是想在说话时做个简单的手势，也请不要这样做。在中国，尽量用语言而不是手势来表达自己，否则会被人觉得过于夸张。