修炼10个小习惯，升级甜蜜恋人！

It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.

貌似只要遇到对的人，恋爱自然而然就会幸福。但其实事情并不是这样的。恋爱需要经营。幸福恋人也得每天用爱心和关心去维系彼此的关系。不过，维持爱情也没有看上去的那么困难。其实，拥有甜蜜恋爱并没有什么“秘密”可言，不过你确实可以采取行动让一切变得更顺利。尝试在日常生活中养成以下习惯，看看你的恋爱会变得有多甜蜜吧！

1. Go to bed at the same time.

1. 同一时间上床睡觉。

I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.

我以前觉得跟爱人同时间上床睡觉完全扯淡，但其实这真的有助于彼此关系哦！要是有一个人熬夜，那两个人的晚上就毁了。两个人盖上被子一起躺着聊聊白天发生的事情或第二天有什么计划，真是莫大的惬意啊。我的未婚夫要倒晚班，然后不知不觉中，我竟也跟着变成夜猫子，在他上班的时间熬夜赶兼职工作了。当他早上下班回来，我才会跟他一起上床睡觉，这样就可以亲亲密密地同睡同醒啦。

2. Cultivate common interests.

2. 培养共同的兴趣爱好。

It’s important to keep your own hobbies when you’re part of a couple, of course, because you want to stay true to yourself and not change your personality. But you and your partner can cultivate common interests without changing who either of you are, and it will make your relationship stronger as a result. I love reading and writing, which are typically solitary hobbies, but my fiancé doesn’t hesitate to grab a book and sit next to me on the couch, or he’ll write a story too, and we can give each other feedback. He loves painting, and I can hardly draw a stick figure, but when he asks me to help him with a painting, I love to try and do my best with bright streaks of color. As a result, we’ve both found that it doesn’t matter what you do together (or in the case of my painting attempts, how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.

当然，即便谈恋爱也不能放弃自己的爱好，毕竟你还想做你自己，不愿改变自己的性格。但是，在不改变彼此的同时，你照样可以和恋人培养共同爱好，这样可以让感情更亲密哦。我喜欢阅读和写文字（典型的内向型兴趣），而我的未婚夫也很喜欢挤在沙发上跟我一起看书，或者自己写故事，然后跟我讨论。他喜欢画画，而我在这方面完全是个白痴。但是，当他画画需要我帮忙时，我也很乐意尽力画上几笔。结果我们发现，做了什么事情并不重要（比如我画得到底好不好），重要的是——两个人在一起很开心地去做这件事。

3. Walk hand in hand.

3. 手牵手一起散步。

My hatred of hand-holding started in elementary school, when you had to hold hands with a buddy so you wouldn’t get lost on a field trip. Since then, I’ve never held hands with anyone and not gotten immediately sweaty palms. It’s one of the worst feelings! With my partner, though, I love holding hands. It makes me feel so happy and connected to him just to hold hands as we walk through the neighborhood, or even around the grocery store. Even if we don’t hold hands, we keep pace and walk side by side. I find that more often than not, my hand either finds his, or I slide my arm around his waist. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.

我从小学时就很讨厌牵手，那时为了在郊游时不走丢，我必须和某男生拉着手。从那时起我就再也没有和谁牵过手，当然也没有遇到过手心汗湿的情况。手心汗湿该有多尴尬啊！可是，当和恋人在一起时，我很喜欢牵着手。哪怕只是在小区里面散步或去杂货店，跟他牵着手都让我觉得特别快乐踏实。就算不牵手，我们也会肩并肩保持步调一致。我还发现自己会不自觉地去拉他的手，或者胳膊伸过去抱他的腰。和恋人肩并肩一起散步真的非常美好！

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

4. 彼此信任，给予原谅。

It’s so easy to fight about stupid nothings and hold a grudge, but that’s not the way to be happy in a relationship. You have to forgive your partner after a fight, even if it’s something major. You might feel like they’ve betrayed your trust, but if you don’t give them another chance, then your relationship can never feel natural again. There will always be a rift because you don’t trust your partner, and feel like any time your back is turned, they’ll be doing something hurtful. On the other side, your partner won’t feel loved in the relationship because they’ll have never gotten your full forgiveness. Let your heart love easier by truly forgiving and honestly trusting your partner.

两个人难免会为一些无所谓的事情争吵甚至耿耿于怀，但这样对感情关系毫无益处。哪怕事关重大，吵完之后你也得原谅对方。你可能会觉得对方辜负了你的信任，但如果不给他一次机会，接下来的关系肯定会尴尬别扭。这将成为一个豁口，因为你不再信任对方，觉得任何时候只要你一转身，他就会做出伤害你的事来。而且相应地，对方也觉得这段关系再也没有爱情可言，因为他从来没觉得被原谅过。请放宽心去爱吧，请真心原谅对方、真诚信任对方吧。

5. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.

5. 多发现恋人做得对的地方，而不是揪着错误不放。

No one likes a nit-pick! Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way. But instead of yelling at your partner for breaking a plate, thank them for washing the dishes for you—hey, soap makes things slippery! Your partner will appreciate that you’re seeing the positive things they’re bringing to the relationship, and being more positive and complimentary will make you feel better than being negative all the time.

没人喜欢找茬挑刺儿！不要每次觉得恋人做错了就责怪不已。如果恋人伤害了你的感情，可以委婉地说出来；如果恋人做错事，可以指正出来。但是，千万不要因为恋人打碎了一个盘子而朝他大吼大叫，相反，你应该感谢他帮你洗碗——哎呀，肥皂水容易让手打滑嘛！这样说，他会心存感激的。你能看到彼此关系的积极面，这种积极和赞扬也能赶走消极情绪，让你一直开心快乐。

6. Hug each other when you see each other after work.

6. 下班后给彼此一个拥抱。

This one is easy—who doesn’t want to melt into a comforting hug after a hard day? And if you had a good day, share your excitement with a hug. You can’t beat ‘em. And once you start hugging, you’ll feel so much happier that you’ll find it easier to make time to cuddle with your partner instead of getting stressed by the things you need to get done around the house.

这个很容易——谁不想在辛苦工作后得到一个欣慰的拥抱呢？如果你今天过得不错，那就用拥抱传达你的开心吧。你绝对抵抗不了拥抱的诱惑。一旦拥抱，你会感到更加开心，也更愿意多和恋人依偎在一起，而不会为了家里一堆杂事烦恼。

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.

7. 每天早晨说“我爱你”和“希望你今天过得开心”。

Another easy tip! Saying sweet words to each other is never a waste of breath. My fiancé and I say “I love you” any time we part—whether it’s on the phone, when he leaves for work, when I run an errand. It makes you feel much happier, and is always a good note to end on when you go about your days.

这也是一个很简单的建议！嘴甜不吃亏嘛。我和未婚夫在任何分别的时候都会说“我爱你”——挂电话啦、他去上班啦，或者仅仅我出去办点事。这会让你更快乐，在一天工作开始时来这么一句很不错哦。

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.

8. 不论多累，每天晚上都要说“晚安”。

Same with “Have a good day,” saying “Good night” when you and your partner go to bed puts a nice, loving haze on the end of the day. My fiancé and I have a nightly routine we say before falling asleep. I won’t reveal it here because it’s special to us, but it includes “Good night,” “I love you,” and other nice phrases that make you feel good and inspire sweet dreams!

和“希望你今天过得开心”一样，睡觉前跟恋人道“晚安”也能增加一天的美好爱意。我和未婚夫睡觉前都要聊好些话，鉴于这是我俩的私事，不便在这里透露，但是我们肯定会说“晚安”以及“我爱你”等甜言蜜语，这样心情很愉悦，连做梦也是甜的！

9. Do a “weather” check during the day.

9. 白天抽空查看一下“天气情况”。

A “weather” check is where you call your partner during the day to see how they are. A caring phone call or text can really brighten their day and show them that you’re thinking of them. As an added bonus, it gives you a heads up about how their day is going. If they’re having a tough time, you can curb your happiness about a work promotion and be more sympathetic as soon as you get home. You can tailor your attitude to make them feel that much better when you both get home.

“天气”检查其实是说，白天抽空打电话问问恋人怎么样了。一个关心的电话或短信真的可以给他带去阳光，并且可以说明你在想他。而且，你还能获知他的进展情况哦。如果他过得不好，你可以忍住自己升职的快乐情绪，回家后对他表现得更同情一些。当你们都回家时，你也可以调整情绪，让他感觉好受些。

10. Be grateful for what you have.

10. 对已经拥有的要心怀感激。

This is the simplest tip of all, because if you’re in a relationship, you clearly value your partner. Be thankful that you have someone you love who loves you back. Be thankful that they help you with household chores and support you during tough times and cheer you on during the good times. Look at your partner as much as you can and just smile that you have them by your side.

这是最简单的建议，因为如果你在谈恋爱，理所当然要珍惜对方。有人爱你，而你又恰好爱他，那么请心怀感激吧。有人帮你做家务，在困难时给你支持，在顺利时逗你开心，所以请心怀感激吧。用心凝视恋人，朝他微笑，感谢有他陪伴！