10招教你应对粗鲁的人

If only there were a way to make all the rude people go and live on an island together so we didn’t have to deal with them!

要是能有办法把所有粗鲁的人都赶到一个岛上该有多好，这样我们就再也不用跟这种人烦了！

But wait a sec. There are smarter ways to deal with rude people! Here are my top 10.

不过也别担心，对付粗鲁的人不乏妙招，请看下面这10个方法吧。

1. Remember, sometimes the rude person is you.

1. 别忘了你自己可能也有粗鲁的时候。

Maybe not today, but there’ve been times when you were rude. And you’re not a bad person. So next time somebody’s rude to you, remember that they’re human just like you, and rudeness alone doesn’t mean they’re a bad person either.

不一定是今天，但你肯定有过失礼的时候。不过这并不表示你品行恶劣。所以，下次要是有人冒犯你，别忘了他们跟你一样也是普通人，不要单凭粗鲁就认定他们是坏人。

2. Don’t take it personally (even if it’s personal).

2. 即便真是针对你个人的，也不要太往心里去。

When someone’s rude—especially if they’re making personal comments about you—it’s easy to get upset. But you have a choice about how you react. Take the power out of their rudeness by choosing to treat it as their problem, not your problem.

要是有人不讲理，甚至指名道姓针对你，那你肯定会感到非常难受。但是，你仍然可以选择如何去面对：你就想不讲理是他们自己的问题好了，跟你无关。

3. Find out why.

3. 找出原因。

People have their own reasons for being rude. Perhaps they’ve had a bad day, or they’re in a hurry and think there isn’t time for manners. Perhaps they don’t even realize how rude they’ve been. You won’t know until you ask! Stay calm and simply say, “I think that’s pretty rude. Why are you treating me like this?” The answer may surprise you.

人们粗鲁总归会有原因，或许他们这一天很不顺，或者比较匆忙，觉得没必要讲求客套礼节，又或者他们根本就没意识到自己失礼了。你只有问了才会知道是什么情况啊！所以，先冷静地问一下：“我觉得你这样很不讲理，为什么要这样？”说不定你会知道很意外的理由。

4. Be objective and analyze the rudeness.

4. 保持客观，了解对方为何粗鲁。

So somebody was rude to you. What did they do or say? Was there any sense in it? If you view the situation objectively, you’ll realize that most rudeness is senseless, so you can cheerfully ignore it. On the rare occasions when there’s logic behind the rude behavior, staying objective lets you address the root of the problem instead of the rudeness concealing it.

好吧，有人对你很粗鲁。那么他们说了或做了什么？他们的说法或做法有道理吗？如果客观判断整个情况，你会发现大部分不讲理都是毫无意义的，所以干脆无视掉吧。在极少数情况下，粗鲁言行背后也存在客观理由；那么这时保持客观则能让你从根本上解决问题，而不会被表面的不讲理所迷惑。

5. Don’t join the drama club.

5. 不要陷进闹剧。

Do you feel like yelling at the rude people around you? Don’t. Joining in the drama will only escalate the situation. Whether you’re dealing with a drama queen who’s doing it on purpose, or an inconsiderate oaf whose rudeness is unintentional, keep your dignity intact by not letting rude behavior provoke you into a tantrum of your own.

你有没有觉得特想朝不讲理的人吼过去？千万别这么做。跟着起哄只会让情况更严重。不管对方是故意无理取闹的刁蛮女，还是无意莽撞的马大哈，都请维持好你的尊严，不要受粗俗言行干扰而勃然动怒。

6. Let it drop and walk away.

6. 直接无视地走开。

Rudeness is hurtful, but removing yourself from the situation is the fastest and surest way to avoid more rude behavior from the same person. Walk away, even if they’re still talking to you! If they’re a stranger, you’ll never have to deal with them again. If they’re a friend or colleague, they’ll soon learn that being rude to you gets them exactly nowhere (and maybe that will prompt them to be nicer next time).

不讲理很伤人，不过主动摆脱那个环境绝对是避免受到同一个人无礼对待的最快最好方法。直接走开吧，管他是不是还在背后说你呢！如果对方是陌生人，那你反正以后再也不会跟他们打交道；如果是朋友或同事，他们肯定会发现这么做没啥好处，而且或许以后他们会变得对你更好呢。

7. Consider offering help.

7. 想想能否提供帮助。

Some rudeness is a simple case of bad manners. But often, a person who’s rude to you does so because they feel frustrated about something—and if it’s within your power to resolve their frustration, you may see them switch from rudeness to gratitude in seconds. A word of warning, though: only offer help if you can provide it immediately, as an offer of help “later on” can add to their feelings of frustration.

有些人没礼貌纯粹只是习惯不好。但一般情况下，对方对你不礼貌或许只是因为遇到了不顺心的事儿。如果你有能力帮忙解决的话，或许他们一下子就能从粗鲁无礼变成感激涕零了。当然还得提醒一句：只能提供那种可以立刻兑现的帮助，不然，“以后帮忙”会让对方更加心烦气躁。

8. Understand rudeness as a habit.

8. 明白粗鲁也是一种习惯。

Some people are rude simply because they’re always rude. Once rudeness becomes a habit, it can be difficult to shake off even if they truly want to behave better. Habitual rudeness should never be taken personally; it’s just a pattern that’s hard to break. Which brings us to the next point—

有些人没礼貌，是因为他们一贯就这样。一旦养成了没礼貌的坏习惯，就算真心想改也很难改掉了。永远不要把对方习惯性的粗鲁太当回事儿，他们只是本性难移罢了。这也涉及到了下面这一点——

9. Don’t try to force a change.

9. 不要尝试去改变。

You can’t make someone be polite if they want to be rude. In fact, trying to force a change in their behavior will often make them behave worse instead of better. Sometimes your best option is to accept that their rudeness is not your fault and let them find their own solutions.

如果对方想要粗鲁，你再怎么努力也无法让他们变得讲理。事实上，尝试纠正对方行为的话，最终只会让他们表现得更恶劣。有时你最好的选择就是接受对方的无礼不是你的问题，让他们好自为之呗。

10. Fight rudeness with kindness.

10. 用宽容战胜粗鲁。

Don’t let rudeness make you respond with more of the same. The best way to defuse rude behavior is to stay friendly and helpful, giving the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours.

不要以粗鲁还粗鲁。搞定粗鲁言行的最好办法就是保持友好帮助的姿态，让对方有机会冷静下来好好反省自己的言行。